What is there to say about this year’s red carpet except: what.a.snoozefest. Lackluster gowns, no shows from A-list celebrities, rain that crushed every hairdo and turned every T-zone shiny. I was so bored that no amount of Prosecco could boost my interest. But mostly, I just wanted to shove a sock in Ryan Seacrest’s mouth…so, no different from any other year.
Pink rocked it out in ruby slipper red. Liza Minelli discovered her own blue period. Jennifer Lawrence falls more than Gerald Ford. The mother from HIMYM showed up in desperate need of teeth whitener, no word on why she was invited in the first place. As always, the In Memoriam tribute generated some controversy.
But let’s get to the real stars of the show, the gowns that made you wonder whether the wearers need glasses, dresses so unappealing they make leggings as pants look like a good idea. Without further adieu, my worst-dressed list from the merely meh to abominable:
Let’s start with the controversial selection. I want to like this tuxedo-inspired dress, but the whole look feels off. The flat, oddly styled hair and the too dainty jewelry ruin the dress for me.
23-year-old Watson is about 15 years too young for this matronly get up. The hair is a mess–plastered to her forehead in the front, a messy gym-ponytail in the back. But I love the rings.
Veronica Mars goes to the prom circa 1998 complete with tendrils. If Amy Adams’ look was under-styled, this ensemble is stuffier than a congressional hearing room during the dog days of summer. But if you want to win the gold medal in the over styling Olympics…
I almost prefer the meat dress.
With a hairstyle reminiscent of a bad perm, a dress straight off the rack at 5.7.9 and a hot pink chain clutch, this is the perfect dress to wear to the Bayside High prom and the after-party at the Max.
Dearest Anna, popping a knee ala Angelina is so 2013, but doing it in a dress from the clearance rack at Vanity is just insulting. Sheer, daisy-printed embroidery, really?
Anna’s look wasn’t exactly pitch perfect, but my worst-dressed starlet of the night was…
Margot Robbie made a big splash at the Golden Globes, a vision in Gucci. But just weeks later at the Oscar’s, all of the ripples have disappeared.
This Saint Laurent gown and the dark purple makeup palette ages the 23-year-old actress by a decade at least. While the darker hair color may look fine on its own, when paired with the dark lip color and the heavy plum blush, the look is too gothic for words. It takes some work to make a woman this beautiful look bad, it doesn’t happen accidentally.
So who was your worst-dressed? Most of the looks this year were merely lackluster, but the collection as a whole was deeply uninspiring.