I wonder what it must feel like to spend weeks preparing for the Emmy’s (choosing the dress, pulling the jewelry) and then, you wind up on everyone’s Worst Dressed List.  Wait.  They make millions of dollars for a few weeks of work…never mind.  I don’t care about their feelings.

Show me the ugly.

Julianna Margulies in Armani Prive

I wanted to like this dress, I really did, but there’s something stopping me.  Can you guess what it is?

If you guessed the giant, lucite water droplets, then you guessed right. 

 

Zooey Deschanel in Monique Lhuillier

Three Words: Coal Miner’s Daughter

Also, that skirt’s so big I keep waiting for the Lollipop Guild to come running out and offer me an absurdly-large lollipop.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow in Pucci

I don’t need to see bare midriff on a 25-year-old, I definitely don’t need to see it on a woman pushing 40.  

Also, thanks to the strange, see-through areas on the bodice, I can’t tell if it’s the dress or if her breasts really look like flattened chicken cutlets.  

Kyle Richards in Does it even matter?

Time for some one liners:

Not sure which is tighter, her dress or her face.

Kyle picked this gown after it was initially rejected by Selena Gomez for being to juvenile.

In her photo, she’s tagged as Actress Kyle Richards.  The joke just writes itself.

Taraji P. Henson in Blumarine

This isn’t bad.  This is tragic.  The dress looks like a cheap, polyester, 1970s nightgown, and fits like one too.  It’s.just.so.sad.  And you would think that it would be the worst dressed…but you would be wrong.

Paz de la Huerta in “I’m not even going to take 30 seconds to look this up.”

Matching your lipstick to your shoes, that’s a new one.  The last time I saw that color, it was on a corpse.

Though, given her salacious and disturbing track record of lewd and X-rated behavior, I’m just glad she showed up wearing clothes and relatively sober.  After all, she’s the only woman in Hollywood who makes Lindsay Lohan look under control.  If you know, LaLohan had talent.