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The 2011 Emmy's: The Worst-Worst Dressed List

I wonder what it must feel like to spend weeks preparing for the Emmy’s (choosing the dress, pulling the jewelry) and then, you wind up on everyone’s Worst Dressed List.  Wait.  They make millions of dollars for a few weeks of work…never mind.  I don’t care about their feelings.

Show me the ugly.

Julianna Margulies in Armani Prive

I wanted to like this dress, I really did, but there’s something stopping me.  Can you guess what it is?

If you guessed the giant, lucite water droplets, then you guessed right. 

 

Zooey Deschanel in Monique Lhuillier

Three Words: Coal Miner’s Daughter

Also, that skirt’s so big I keep waiting for the Lollipop Guild to come running out and offer me an absurdly-large lollipop.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow in Pucci

I don’t need to see bare midriff on a 25-year-old, I definitely don’t need to see it on a woman pushing 40.  

Also, thanks to the strange, see-through areas on the bodice, I can’t tell if it’s the dress or if her breasts really look like flattened chicken cutlets.  

Kyle Richards in Does it even matter?

Time for some one liners:

Not sure which is tighter, her dress or her face.

Kyle picked this gown after it was initially rejected by Selena Gomez for being to juvenile.

In her photo, she’s tagged as Actress Kyle Richards.  The joke just writes itself.

Taraji P. Henson in Blumarine

This isn’t bad.  This is tragic.  The dress looks like a cheap, polyester, 1970s nightgown, and fits like one too.  It’s.just.so.sad.  And you would think that it would be the worst dressed…but you would be wrong.

Paz de la Huerta in “I’m not even going to take 30 seconds to look this up.”

Matching your lipstick to your shoes, that’s a new one.  The last time I saw that color, it was on a corpse.

Though, given her salacious and disturbing track record of lewd and X-rated behavior, I’m just glad she showed up wearing clothes and relatively sober.  After all, she’s the only woman in Hollywood who makes Lindsay Lohan look under control.  If you know, LaLohan had talent.

Leave a Reply to RB · cancel comment

    8 comments

  1. AD says:

    My boyfriend's comment was that Julianna Margulies' dress reminded him of a large neck brace being worn as a back brace. I kind of wanted to throw ping pong balls into it a la the old Bozo the Clown game.

    September 19, 2011/Reply
  2. Nina says:

    Paz looks a mess, but I almost think it's wrong to put her on the worst dressed list because her dress looks fine. Perfectly acceptable dress, well fitted, etc. It's the makeup and the hair that is oh so wrong. Plus, it's kind of her shtik to be a mess.

    Zooey. I am already inclined to hate her for her over the top tweeness and awful website (Hello Giggles, ugh, just that effing name alone) but this hair and dress combo wouldn't really work on anyone in 2011. Just another example of people who think anything 15+ years old is “vintage” and therefore cool. Silhouettes from different eras must be deployed with forethought! And attention to detail! GAWD!

    /rant

    September 19, 2011/Reply
  3. Govvie says:

    I agree with Belle and Nina about Zooey. Hank Steuver (WaPo) criticized her typical character just last week:

    “She capitalizes on a lot of tee-hee and emotional fragility, with eyes as big as a kitsch painting of wildlife. It’s that whole flowery sundress, nerdy horn-rims, bicycle basket, put-a-bird-on-it tweeness of the forever child . . . Zooey Deschanel is 32. She’s too old to act like this, in a show that calls her a girl. Once again, I scribble in my notes a variation on a theme: Whatever happened to women?”

    September 19, 2011/Reply
  4. Suburban Sweetheart says:

    That WaPo bit on Zooey Deschanel is the best damn thing I've read all week.

    September 19, 2011/Reply
  5. Gina says:

    Surely you forgot Drew Barrymore attended the Emmys???

    https://gofugyourself.com/emmy-awards-fug-ceremony-drew-barrymore-09-2011

    September 19, 2011/Reply
  6. Belle says:

    Truly terrible. Like cavewoman chic, but she wasn't on the carpet so I didn't see her photo until today.

    September 19, 2011/Reply
  7. RB says:

    I know she's best known for a certain reality TV show these days, but technically Kyle Richards is an actress. She and her sister were child stars,and I'm pretty sure she did a lifetime movie this past year.

    September 20, 2011/Reply
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