Ask the Editor: Vol. VI, No. Twenty

A lot of in have quietly retired their reader mailbags. I get it, answering questions takes time, and it’s a lot easier to post a pretty outfit and move on. But I can’t imagine quitting.

I started this blog in 2008 because young women on the Hill had real questions and no one to ask: what to wear to a hearing when you’ll be on camera, how to dress on a staffer’s salary, whether those shoes would survive a day of marble floor brutality. Your questions haven’t stopped; they’ve just changed. Now it’s what to wear to a hybrid office, how to dress a perimenopausal body, and which serum actually enlivens aging skin. You trust me with your fashion and beauty quandaries, and I take that seriously. And since one person’s question is usually on dozens of other minds, answering it helps others.

So let’s dive in.

Hi Belle:

Looking to invest in the perfect gold pendant necklace. Something classic but interesting for everyday wear. Have you had enough luck with any of the online sellers to recommend?

Anon

I admit, I have been searching for a mid-price chain necklace with charm clasp for months. I have ordered so many only to be disappointed in the quality. In my view, no category has suffered more from a decline in quality than jewelry. There is one influencer promoted brand that feels like Claire’s but costs like Nordstrom, and it makes me insane. So have I found anything good?

You will see a lot of Monica Vinader, Mejuri, and Missoma on this blog because the pieces I have purchased from these brands stand up to scrutiny. This MV Alta chain and this diamond-accented pendant has been in my cart for a minute. For a more traditional chain, try this one. From Missoma, this modern pendant from their Lucy Williams collab is fabulous. This Mejuri pendant is also a longtime favorite that I wear whenever I want to mix metals.

My advice is to 1) have a good idea of what you’re looking for (Pinterest is good for searching); 2) set a budget and don’t break it unless the piece is absurdly amazing; 3) read descriptions very carefully about what can be and what cannot be returned before ordering jewelry. I will never in life shop from Dorsey again after they told me that I couldn’t return a spendy piece of jewelry that didn’t fit because it was “made-to-order.” This is the new scam, pretending retail pieces are made-to-order or custom made so they can deny returns and only do credit exchanges. And make sure to read the ENTIRE description because this notification is often buried somewhere in the details.

DM: I need butt shaping undies or shorts or something. Mine is a pancake. ???

I admit, this one made me laugh. Because at 44, everything needs to be lifted or hoisted or lacquered into place. It’s wild. But this is a very solvable problem. I recommend these Spanx briefs for shaping that booty until it looks like you had surgery.

Hi Abra,

How do you handle the sewn on belts with rent the runway’s dresses? It drives me nuts and I know you’re a big believer in the belt swap as well.

Thanks, Emily

If it’s a flimsy, fabric belt, the solve is pretty simple. Iron or steam the belt smooth, lay it flat and safety pin it down. Then, choose a wider belt in leather or elastic and wear it over the top. With a thicker belt, you’re just stuck making it look as good as possible. I have a few brooches in my jewelry box, and if I need to jazz it up, I will add either a few small ones or a large one.

Dear Belle:

My sister-in-law is getting married on a ranch in Wyoming in late October. The planner for the welcome dinner and has asked that everyone “bring a beautiful scarf to swap.” Firstly, what the hell? Second, the invite says the price ceiling for this swap is $400. Again, what the hell? Is this some Western thing (I’m from Florida)? My hill staffer budget is under-$200. I don’t care if I look cheap. Save me.

Sincerely, NNN

No, to my knowledge, this is not some Wyoming or Western thing. Is this wedding in Jackson? Maybe this is just some bougie, pretend cowgirl thing?

Regardless, I own this scarf, and I love it. Liberty London makes the most incredible scarves for <$150. Or out bougie these folks by diving over to The Real Real — this Hermes twilly and this Celine scarf caught my eye. Or lean into the Wyoming of it all and grab a Pendleton bandana.

Abra,

Can you do a round-up of black knee-High boots? Or should i just get the Loeffler Gia’s in a second color?

Sincerely, Kate

There’s never a bad reason to buy the Loeffler Gia’s. However, I have a couple more recommendations. I own the 2025 version of these Cole Haan boots, and they’re great — stable, comfortable, stretchy in the calf. A very fashionable friend owns these Sam Edelman boots and speaks very highly of them.

Hi Abra!

Mom question – when you’re traveling with sloane via plane/long car rides, how do you keep her entertained? Im not above using the ipad, but looking for additional ideas. Thanks 🙂

Emily

We usually let Sloane watch movies on a flight. That and a snacklebox are usually enough to buy us 2+ hours. We also put the PBS Kids and Bluey apps on their to let her color or play a game that isn’t over stimulating. Beyond that, I prefer to start flights with these reusable water painting books, 3-D building blocks, or a Melissa & Doug sticker book.

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