Ask the Editor: Vol. VI, No. Eight

I am still incredibly ill. If anyone has tips on how to strengthen a ragged immune system, please leave them in the comments. This is the third time this year that I have been basically bedridden by illness.

My brain is fried, but my inbox overflows, so let’s dive into the mail bag.

Hi Belle – loooongtime reader here 🙂

I need a formal dress/gown to wear to a large Philanthropic ball in dc at the end of may. I’m 43, size 6, and would like to stick to a $500 budget. Any ideas?

Thanks so much! Jaime

As I get older, the prospect of “investing” in a nice dress or gown to wear it throughout my life seems less reasonable. My body shape changes so frequently these days (thank you, menopausal aging) that it isn’t feasible. So I find myself renting more and more for special events. I encourage you to give Rent the Runway a try if you haven’t. I have a subscription, so it makes finding things that fit easier because I can try on more things, but I’ve also had a reasonable amount of luck with one-off rentals. I’ve rented this Shoshanna dress for two different weddings and it’s so pretty with flat sandals and gorgeous with heels and big earrings.

The trick for me is to stick with shapes that I know work on my body. You can sort by sleeve length, neckline, etc. As for sizing, I always go to the designer’s website to check the size guide, comparing that information to what women are saying in their reviews. The RTR size information is meaningless.

If you’re committed to purchasing something, I think Staud is making the most incredible dresses and gowns right now. Not all of them will fall in your price range, but this one in cherry red does. Also, I would think about purchasing a midi-length or knee-length dress you can dress up over wearing a gown. It’s a choice that’s easier to wear again. This structured Alice + Olivia dress, this Leo Lin dress, and this Milly dress all fit the bill.

The key for formal events is always to pick something you feel good wearing. I also abide by the Devil Wears Prada Rule (from the book not the movie), when in doubt, wear something slightly less fancy that is stunning. And then, spend some money on hair and makeup, so that even if you’re re-wearing or renting a dress, you feel like a million bucks and look like it in photos.

Hi Abra,

Can you help me find a retinol for body? Everything that’s being fed to me through Instagram seems of questionable quality, but I do want to try one because aging.

Sara

I use a body retinol from Soft Services that I really like. HOWEVER, I saw a pharmacist buy an inexpensive retinal/retinoid (like Ordinary) and mix it into a vat of Saltair body butter and claim that that works just as well. So I may try that next time and report back, but I’m happy to buy a straight retinol if it’s not great.

From My Texts: I have a silly question for you. I’ve been scouring the internet for nice birthstone rings for my daughters months to request for Mother’s Day. Probably stackable ones. But all I am finding is cheap, Etsy like stuff. I don’t own a lot of jewelry so I don’t really know brands/have a sense of what will hold up. You have such good taste. Does anything come to mind?? 

It’s kind of her to say that I have good taste; it’s why she’s still my favorite intern that I’ve ever mentored. But, to her question, finding high-quality birthstone jewelry is usually a lift since most pieces are either inexpensive and low quality or expensive and a little tacky. It’s madness. Here are a few options, leave others in the comments.

Maya Brenner has a popular line of birthstone jewelry. For something similar in a lower price range, I like Made by Mary.

For me, if I was going to buy a birthstone ring, I would buy a diamond eternity or half-eternity band — a nice one — and have one of the stones reset with Sloane’s birthstone. I would also consider something like this where the stone is drilled into the shank or band of a solitaire ring.

Also, as one of my readers commented a few months back on another post, don’t limit yourself to your child’s birthstone. Any piece of jewelry you love can be worn to honor your child. Just buy what you like, and engrave it with their name and birthday. If I were going to do that, a David Yurman cable ring solo or in a stack adds a lovely texture.

DM: I need a honeymoon bikini for a small bust. Thoughts?

Left on Friday and Andie have really wearable bikinis in great colors that are perfect for a honeymoon. If you want something designed specifically for smaller busts, Pepper now makes swimwear, which has been a source of joy for some of friends. But similar to the advice above, for a honeymoon, you just need something you’ll feel good in and wear, so you can relax and enjoy.

{this post contains affiliate links that may generate commission for the author; capitol hill style is a Soft Services partner, sometimes they gift me things to try}