The mail bag was particularly active this week. A New Year apparently led to new questions. So let’s answer a few today and a few more next week.
Hi Abra,
Two winter wear questions:
1) Gloves to wear when walking the pups that are easily removable to pick poo up.
2) What boots are we wearing that ACCOMMODATE ice/slush/snow to walk said pups? I’ve been looking at boots with Vibram soles since in denver it can snow, then turn to ice in the next minute.
Thoughts? -Katie
First, these are the Athleta gloves I wear casually in winter. How easy they are to remove is probably a matter of perspective. If readers have better suggestions, please leave them in the comments.
Second, I wear Sorel Caribou boots. But, if you’re just looking for more traction when walking, I suggest buying a pair of Yaktrax. They stretch around your boots and provide traction to almost shoe when walking. I put them over my sneakers when it’s icy out.
Hello,
Longtime reader, first time writer here. I’m newly postpartum and unsure if or when I’ll ever get back to my pre-pregnancy size. At this point, I’m breastfeeding, several inches wider all around, and am currently living in pajamas. I know it’s been a little while since you were in this stage of life, but would you have any suggestions on how to navigate this season in clothes? Not too keen on buying items that I’ll only wear for a few months, but the uncertainty in body shape/size is a challenge!
Also just wanted to say that I love your blog. Thanks so much, Sleep deprived, but oh so full of love for our new little human
Woof. I remember those days. In some ways, I am still living them. I lost the baby weight quickly, and then gained almost all of it back over the next three years. So your body is going to continue to change in ways you may not be able to predict, but I remember well feeling lost and unable to dress myself after Sloane was born. Here’s what I would suggest.
You need clothes that fit your body. It isn’t enticing to buy them knowing that you may only wear them for a few months, but if you don’t have them you’ll feel crappy about your body, and you’ll struggle to get dressed every time you leave the house. Having clothes that fit really is a mental health and productivity game changer. So even if it’s a short term investment, it is an investment in you.
Think about what you want to wear, I recommend some elastic waist pants that look nice. Madewell has a denim pant with a tie waist that looks cute and relaxed. Varley’s Bryden pants also have a more tailored look in a stretchy style. If you don’t want to buy anything at full price, Thredup has dozens of options at very reduced prices. Also, ask friends. So many of my friends have barely worn postpartum clothing in boxes because they might have another baby.
On top, I recommend something with a little structure that isn’t tight. Spanx has a poplin tunic that felt like a gift to me postpartum. I also love this relaxed, cool sweater from Quince at <$50. You could lose 15-20lbs, and it would still just look chic and oversized. Polo sweaters are also a style that kept me going postpartum because they felt structured and cool. This Boden one is great.
Abra,
My skin looks awful this time of year. You mention on Instagram that you use primer to fix that. What primer?
TC
Dior Forever Glow Filter. If I were to buy one makeup product this year, this is it. It’s a killer. Makes you look alive, and brightens winter skin.
Hi Abra-
I need a new coat that can be worn over a suit jacket for meetings with clients and congress. no tight upper arms. ideally not black. you remember winters in dc- it’s chilly but not the arctic tundra, so warmth is less of a concern.
Any ideas? Leigh
You think your coat fits, until winter comes, you layer on the sweaters and blazers and you can’t lift your arms. Ugh. Sezane’s styles tend to have more voluminous sleeves. They have lots of cool styles in different weights. Their Rafael coat in rust is a fantastic choice.
Also, scarf coats are really chic and very popular right now. They often have wide sleeves. Mint Velvet has a very sophisticated one. This one from Quince is more affordable.
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Any tips on best size for the Athleta gloves? I do not see a size chart or actual measurements for gloves. I assume most females will be small/medium?
For the new mom and with the caveat that I’ve never had a baby. Most of my friends say that even if they return to their pre-pregnancy weight, their bodies are shaped differently after being pregnant, enough so that even shirts and jackets never fit again because their rib cages permanently expanded.
For all women, I believe in dressing for the body you have. I’m in the menopause life stage and also hate having to dress for my new body, but I always feel better when I do rather than when I try to wedge myself into my clothes from 5 years ago.
Post-partum fashion/life rec: You will feel so much more like yourself in clothes you like/love if you shop/dress for the body you have than if you try to wedge into clothes that are too tight or are maternity wear. You will also be telling yourself you are WORTH shopping/dressing for the body you currently have – because no one knows how long that body is sticking around for. That being said, I found that soft cotton tanks under button-down shirts (flannel, poplin, you name it) along with some loose-ish girlfriend jeans worked nicely. You don’t have to spend a ton of $ (I shopped Old Navy, now there’s Thredup!), and, I’ll say it again, you’re WORTH it!
Agreed about the Dior Forever Glow filter!
I have a foundation that’s too full coverage, but with 1 pump of Glow Filter and 1 pump of foundation, I can use a damp beauty blender to blend this mixture and my skin looks alive and even, again.
100% buy clothes that fit your postpartum body now. I have never felt worse than being “complimented” by a nursing home resident on my “bell bottom” maternity work pants that I was still wearing 4 months postpartum. It took me almost 2 years to lose the weight. And even 7 years later, I still have to go pull out my stretchy postpartum-sized pants from time to time as my weight changes. Most recently this past Tuesday. Ugh. I recommend heavy ponte and stretchy. I had luck with Not Your Daughter’s Jeans, WHBM (though they stopped making my favorites), and have more recently had luck with Cotidie. https://cotidie.com/collections/pants.
RE: dressing a postpartum body. I bought some “survival clothes” that worked for months 3-9ish in that they fit and I did not hate them. They were not investment pieces, I did not expect they would last long term, and did not feel guilt about discarding after the season, especially when they inevitably got dirty with baby fluids.
(Don’t sleep on Old Navy.)
2) I am now just shy of two years postpartum, have similarly gained back the pregnancy weight. My new work uniform for most normal days is the Athleta endless high rise pant and a j crew factory longsleeve tee, and maybe a scarf. I have both in a half dozen colors and rotate. I will have another season in my life where I wear clothes and more of an interesting expression of self. For now, I can walk into my closet and dress in something that fits, I feel good in, and is not uncomfortable in less than 2 minutes, and that is what I need in this season.
Be kind to yourself, and good luck. There is more sleep somewhere in your future!
6 years post partum and, real talk, some things never go back – even if your weight goes back to exactly where it was. Ligaments stretch during pregnancy. My torso is a bit wider and my hips are shaped differently now. Also, I’ve got a permanent little pouch that no amount of sucking in or core workouts will change… cause my body did an amazing thing and, g’damit, I’m proud of it. I still look in the mirror and wonder where things have moved to, but it’s mostly just learning how to dress the way I am shaped now. Admittedly, it took me a lot of time to make peace with that, but I just see it as a chance fall in love with who I am now.
Muck boots are wonderful and have vibram soles. Many are made for farm chores, but they have a few everyday wear options. I get more complements on my muck boots than almost any other items of clothing I own!