November AMA: You Asked, I Answered

Nov 30, 2023

Another month has come and gone, and between a busy work schedule, illness and the search for new childcare, I almost forgot to ask for questions for the AMA.  Luckily, I remembered late last night.  So here we go.

I always think it’s funny when people send rude or overly personal questions when I put up one of these.  They always think that I won’t answer them or won’t post them.  I ran a blog with an active comments section in the early 2010s, there’s nothing you can say to me that will hurt my feelings.  But these two queries are also a good reminder for me and everyone who manages social media that one person’s hateful barbs are another person’s opportunity for advice.

So to the first question, I’ve changed my hair several times over the past five years.  I’ve worn my bangs long and pushed to the side, shorter and straight down, cut in a curtain style.  I’ve cut my hair to my ears, grown it down to my shoulders, put in extensions.  Had highlights, covered highlights.  Because I have no interest in growing out my bangs (they’re Botox insurance), some people don’t notice.  But I have never cared whether people liked how my hair looks, because I like how it looks (most of the time).

As to the second question, twice per week, I use this K18 Detox shampoo.  On other days, I use this Native shampoo.  Twice per week, I freshen my color with DPHue’s gloss in medium brown.  Other than that, I use K18’s Leave-In Hair Mask.  If you want to try both K18 products, Sephora sells a set that’s worth a look.

What do you think about sheer or mostly sheer black hose with the two-out-of-three rule?

The Two-Out-of-Three Rule is the idea that when wearing a skirt, tights, and shoes, two of the connected items should be the same color.  So either the tights and shoes or the tights and the skirt.  It’s a cleaner, more flattering look for the office than if you have a black skirt, burgundy tights, and black shoes.

On the topic of sheer tights, I did not see these coming back into style, but there they are.  For myself, I will keep wearing opaque tights until the wheels fall off.  But if you want to try a sheer pair, the same rule applies: If the tights are black, either the skirt or the shoes should also be black.

For the holidays, if you want to wear sheer tights to a party, I actually really like a back seam pair or a mini-dot pair for a festive choice.

Do you miss when you were “anonymous?” (OG blog reader here! ❤️)

Not really, I think anonymity can breed a keyboard warrior mentality that I was certainly guilty of.  The only things I miss about anonymity are: 1) having a blog impacts my career because it leads some people to believe that I’m not serious about my work as an attorney; and 2) now that I have a husband and child, they get criticism (which is so twisted) or get roped into criticism about me because I have an online presence.  It’s very strange.

Where are we shopping for cocktail dresses?

Right now, my favorite places to shop for dresses are Tuckernuck and Anthropologie.  They both have a great selection, multiple price points, and Anthro has a wider size range than most stores.  This drape-back sequin mini-dress caught my eye.

Did you find childcare?

As I mentioned on Instagram a while back, the woman who was Sloane’s nanny for the past year is headed back to school, so we lost our childcare.  And Care.com is a bit of a nightmare.  16-year-old homeschooled girls looking for full-time work.  22-year-old college kids who think 9-1:30 is the right schedule for a nanny when the two professional parents have 8-5 jobs.  But luckily, we did find someone who starts in a few days, and we’re very grateful.

A cigar band ring that’s not boring. $200 budget. Ideas?

For something on the thinner side, I love this Honoura Cici ring with a labradorite stone in it.  You could also buy a simple one and wear it with another thin band to change the look.

How to find inspiration with what I already own instead of buying stuff I don’t need.

First, clean out your closet.  Donate the pieces you haven’t worn in a while, and reorganize the ones you do wear.  I always find some gem I forgot about when I do a closet purge.  It’s also a great way to get you thinking about which pieces can be paired to make new outfits.

Second, follow Allison Bornstein on Instagram.  Lots of solid advice on using what you already have.

Third, hit Pinterest.  If you have a piece you don’t wear, say a camel blazer, just type in camel blazer outfits and see what comes up.  I often find great ideas for new pairings.

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  1. sara says:

    I, for one, love the sheer black tights trend and found that there are some SUPER durable ones on Amazon. I’ve yet to have a run in a pair I’ve worn 6 times so far this season.

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