In this week’s Ask the Editor, the mailbag gets real.  Real personal.  Real authentic.  Real advice.  Everyone had direct questions and wanted direct answers.

Hi Abra,

Several of the influencers I follow are suddenly promoting Wal-Mart like they’re Waltons. Are they really wearing these clothes?  How did this start?  What is going on?

Do you have answers? Heather

Dearest, Heather…yes, I do have the answers you’re looking for.

In 2021, one of the primary affiliate linking networks started offering Wal-Mart as an affiliate option.  This was great for some of my rural influencer pals who live in places where the big box retailer is the only shop in town.  But shortly after Wal-Mart entered the chat the retailer started offering big sponsorships and bonus deals to influencers who would not be the normal customer.  Some of you may remember this debacle.

As a result of these partnerships, many women who would have only looked sideways at the building’s concrete facade on the way to Whole Foods started hitting up the online shop.  Ads beget sales, sales beget new partner deals, and new partner deals beget a changing aesthetic for the chain.  Suddenly, Wal-Mart’s clothes were actually cute, women with closets of Chanel bags and Hermes sandals said so!  (But seriously, some of the pieces are cute.)

In an influencing industry built entirely on fast fashion, the clothes sold at Wal-Mart are really no different than the clothes from Target, H&M, or Amazon.  Plus, most of the Wal-Mart pieces are inclusively sized.  And when you are from a town where Wal-Mart is the only shopping option (ask Kelly Clarkson and Helen Mirren about the glories of the Butte Wal-Mart), it’s nice to see that the clothes are getting a style boost from all this sponsored influencer content.

So am I shopping at Wal-Mart?  Yeah, sometimes.  And yes, those influencers are too.  The question is how much are they wearing the pieces.  Is it just for the photos or is it with some regularity?  There’s no way to know.

As for the pieces that I’m wearing, I bought this bag after seeing it on an influencer and thinking it was a cool summer bag for dinner dates and brunches.  But mostly, I buy workout clothes there.  I really love this wireless, high impact bra.

Abra,

I saw your Tweet about the funding for your position falling through. What are you doing for work right now?  I also work in a state legislature and every session the bill that pays for our committee staff is the last thing done and this is basically my nightmare.

Alysia

Yes, I am retired from politics.  Sort of.  My boss found a little money to pay me on contract to close out some projects, and in a few weeks, that will be done. I have a line on a few jobs (one solid offer if I don’t find something by September), but it’s weird.  I had a plan for my professional future and when the bill died, the plan died with it.

Belle:

I need a unicorn — a shoe for work that I can walk in that doesn’t make me look like my grandma.  Heel, flat, all are fine.  No Naturalizer, Born, Allbirds or Rothy’s, please.  Do these even exist?

Sorry if this isn’t enough guidance. Best wishes, Estella

No Naturalizer? What about a Naturalizer diffusion line made for women who aren’t yet grandma age but need arch support because we’re not 25?  I lived in these shoes in April.  You should have seen me sprinting through the Capitol in those block heels.  I loved them so much, I bought these for summer wedding season.  27 Edit is where it’s at.  They look cute and they don’t hurt.

As for winter shoes, I own these Blondo waterproof boots in leather, and I can run in them without pain or loss of balance.  I wore them with black pants a lot, probably too much.

Abra:

I recently stopped birth control and went back to having monthly periods. I haven’t had one since I was 24, I’m 37.  I forgot  how much this SUCKS.  This may be an overly personal question, but if you get periods, what underwear and tampons are you using?  I feel like my choices ballooned fifty times over while I was on flow hiatus.

Love the blog and hope you’re well. SHP

Yes, I get a monthly period.  And yes, they’re not great.  But I’ve never been good about taking pills and IUDs scare the s**t out of me, so I’ve stayed away from hormonal birth control.  So let’s chat about how I cope.

Since having Sloane, I haven’t had a single period cramp.  I think my uterus put up her out of office after I nearly died.  So I have no cramp advice to give, only empathy.

As for keeping things mess free, I switched to organic cotton tampons years ago and I am never going back.  My experience is anecdotal, but even before my daughter was born, I’d noticed my cramps seemed less intense when using the cotton ones.  I love the Cora brand most, but will buy the Honey Pot ones if Target is sold out of my brand.

Also, I need to tell you about the glories of period underwear. I was initially VERY SKEPTICAL that these absorbent underwear would 1) work and 2) not gross me out so bad I’d need therapy for my trauma.  But I goddamn love them.  They saved my life during IVF.

My favorite brand is Proof; I love the bikini with the scalloped edge which almost never VPL.  I also own these thinner Saalt briefs, which are very comfortable to wear and hold a lot of liquid.  And if you’re looking for a more affordable option, these Bali briefs are it (they also absorb light leaks).

Hi Abra,

I was flipping through your Amazon shop and saw a $26 lip balm.  Are you really using a designer lip balm?

Come on, it’s lip balm. 

My husband bought the Laura Mercier Hydrating Balm for me as a stocking stuffer last Christmas, and it’s my “going out” lip balm.  Basically, I don’t want to stick my finger into a pot of Medex when I’m in public, and this one fits more easily in my small purses.  It also works phenomenally well.

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