I always held feminist ideals. I only started identifying myself as one 7-8 years ago, because like a lot of women, I was confused about what feminism was outside of the burning bras/anti-man context that was being promulgated at the time.

My old boss was a feminist (in the way he treated his staff and the people around him), without a doubt, whether he’d use that word I don’t know. Men and women of the same rank were paid equally. Women’s ideas were always valued equally. No one was treated or talked about differently. I didn’t even find out the world was different than that until I left the Hill.

When I was a lobbyist, it was clear some offices/staffs felt differently about women. It wasn’t just Republicans. Some of my biggest issues happened with Democrats, two in particular. I think politics is an old boys club, and the older the people you’re dealing with, the more likely they are to see women as just biding time until they get married.

I also dealt with a lot of Southern members/staff who DID NOT understand why “a pretty girl” like me wasn’t dating. An adversary started a rumor that I was gay, and when people would bring it up, I would be like “Would it be a problem if I was?” Most of the time, it wasn’t people, were just curious. Some of the time, I got the look. I’m not gay, but it just seemed like an odd reaction to an unmarried, single woman of 30, esp. in the 21st Century.

Most of the people I dealt with, men and women, GOP and Dem, never treated me differently. But discussions with older men and women about feminism are tough. A lot of GOP women think of themselves as liberated, and just don’t understand why we feminists need to make such a big deal about it. They’ll espouse all the foundational feminist ideas, but use the word, can’t be done. It’s tough to explain that Feminism exists not to disempower men, but to lift women up. Some women are already up, but that doesn’t mean we’re done. It can be a struggle to have these conversations, but someone has to do it.