1) Slut-shaming and disparaging Melania Trump is not the solution to your anger. Couldn’t agree more. (Refinery29)
2) If I was going to splurge on one work dress for fall, this Joseph dress would be it.
3) Why it’s time to stop apologizing at work. #sorrynotsorry (Daily Worth)
4) This floral flouncy top from Banana Republic is so fresh and feminine. I also like this modern, dark-green blazer.
5) Young women are the most bored at work, here’s what to do about it. (Glamour)
6) Anthropologie has the most beautiful sweaters. I am in love with the sophisticated drama of this Balloon Sleeve Pullover, and this delicate Metallic Stripe sweater is lovely.
7) An important piece on Chicago, gangs, and family. Such an interesting, tragic read. (NYTimes)
8) Finally Advent Calendars for Grown-ups: from L’Occitane, NYX, bareMinerals, and Diptyque candles.
9) Welcome to Sweden, where they have a hotline to report ‘mansplaining.’ (PayScale)
10) I’m kind of obsessed with these Himalayan Salt Tequila Glasses. So fun.
Bonus: You’ve heard about the ‘fake news’ crisis; spend 48-hours in Facebook’s Unreality. (The Daily Beast)
*image found here.
1. Couldn’t agree more. You can criticize the double standard (people getting riled up about Michelle’s arms but staying silent about Melania’s nude modeling) without criticizing Melania’s choices. She’s a grown woman who can do with her body and her fashion what she pleases. It has no bearing on her character.
I couldn’t agree more. Now, please explain why it’s ok to ban Ivanka Trump and her line of merchandise (as previously blogged prior to Mr. Trump being elected our next President of the United States).
Because not wanting to contribute to Ivanka’s (and therefore her father’s) bottom line has nothing to do with her as a woman and is not shaming. It is a disagreement on values and a statement about the importance of those values.
Refraining from criticizing a woman and her body and what she chose to do with it is completely different than refusing to give money to someone who supports, defends, and works closely with a person and a campaign that are blatantly misogynistic. It isn’t a “sins of the father” situation; Ivanka is a major part of the campaign and has done nothing but defend her dad and his actions.
^^^What they said. I vote my conscience and I use my dollars to vote my conscience when it comes to shopping. Very different from debasing myself by slut-shaming, name-calling or anything else.
Jenn S. says:
Nicely said, ladies. Agreeing with Jamie, Anna, and Monica.
Choosing not to support someone is NOT the same as slut-shaming or any other of that nastiness. We’re supposed to be adults – there are plenty of entirely valid reasons to criticize the next President, and the former modeling career of his wife is not on the list.
Melania is a horrible role model for girls. Period. A trophy wife that married a rich older man. The best thing that is said about her is that she has refined taste, i.e., likes expensive things.
A materialistic, gold diggger, without substance is the exact opposite of what I wished my kids had to look up to. Such a First Lady is one of the worst aspects of this trump presidency.
So, as far as I am concerned, please do not stop criticizing Melania. Please do so loud and clear. Let our youth know that studying, applying yourself, having empathy, and not being materialistic are the values that matter.
First, it’s interesting that you bring up empathy as a value we should be praising, but then you show Melania none. It’s entirely possible that as a beautiful young girl in a working class Slovenian family, she was taught that the way to improve her circumstances was with her looks. As someone who grew up in a small, industrial town, I knew many pretty girls who were not taught that their minds were their ticket out of town. I’m not saying this is what we should be teaching girls, I’m simply saying we should have empathy for women who were taught values that were backward and made their choices accordingly.
Second, if the only (or best) way you can find to teach young girls to value education, hard work and humility is to point and laugh at the pretty woman in the expensive house with the rich husband, then you are still teaching them the wrong thing. A woman’s value should not be determined by a feeling of superiority over other women, no matter why they feel superior (education, money, looks, etc.).
All you are teaching young women when you criticize Melania for being a “materialistic” “gold digger” who is “without substance” is that it’s totally fine to be judgmental as long as your judging women for what you have deemed poor choices or values. So it’s not cool to judge an educated woman for not being pretty or not caring about her looks, but it is totally cool to judge a pretty woman for not being educated. Is that what we should be teaching young women? No woman should ever be told she is “without substance” simply because she isn’t as smart or as educated or as eloquent as our ideal.
I admit, this is an area where I sometimes struggle. (See, all previous comments about how KimK makes millions by breaking the Internet with nude photos and then says she wants to be valued as a business woman and claims she was deceived into taking off her clothes by W and Playboy.) It can be confounding to try to show young girls positive role models without pointing at the kind of women you don’t want them to be and saying, “See that harlot over there? For shame.” But I think this is where your call for empathy comes in.
There are far, far better ways to show young women that education and hard work are of the highest value, than by pointing at the pretty woman with the rich husband and laughing at her and criticizing her. And if we can’t set a better example for the next generation about feminism and supporting other women,because we want to salve our anger, then we should be ashamed of ourselves.
Well put Belle. I think this is something many women struggle with but we should never stop trying to respect and withhold judgement on women for the choices they make. We don’t have to emulate them or suggest they are role models but we do not need to criticize or shame them.
This. This is everything. Never been more impressed and supportive of this blog as reading this incredibly well put comment. Thank you.
I really wish that there was a like button to show my support of Jamie, Anna and Monica.
Wait…. how is not buying a certain brand of shoes even remotely the same thing as slut shaming? I actually don’t see the correlation at all.
I agree with the ladies above saying that consumers have a choice with their dollars to support, or not support a company or organization whose morals, values and message we don’t resonate with. Belle’s not refusing to buy IT shoes because Ivanka showed her body a certain way, for example. Kind of the same reason why some people don’t shop at Wal Mart…?
Even long before he became a candidate I refused to buy IT products because I didn’t believe in her message. It honestly has nothing to do with what she’s decided to do with her body.
$200 dupe of that Joseph dress, please! Lovely.
Yael @ Nosherium says:
This is pretty close, but I don’t know how the sizing runs or how high the quality is. https://www.missiny.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=90429597&click=11&utm_source=googlebase&utm_medium=shoppingengine&gclid=CjwKEAiAjcDBBRCJxouz9fWHynwSJADaJg9B6MUWdhmp4hzm77LzvUCOX2cY9UP9ku7ReR_w5EayRhoCZg7w_wcB
I’ve been thinking about ordering this bright red dress from Boden. Doesn’t have the same style but they quality is excellent. https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/womens-dresses/day-dresses/ww113-red/womens-beatnik-red-curve-flare-dress