My little brother is getting married this weekend. The same little brat who used to break the heads off of my Barbies and demand the crusts removed from his sandwiches is apparently an adult. Don’t know how I missed the memo on that one…
A family wedding necessitates more costume changes than a Broadway play–especially when your Mother is from the South (all hail!). So I’ve spent all of my free mental energy over the last three weeks attempting to pull together enough outfits to get through the weekend. Here is what I’m wearing.
It’s supposed to be a casual barbecue. For most people, that means paper plates. For my Mother, that means serving only two courses and linens. White jeans and a fun top bridge the gap between “I know, the invitation said casual” and “She defines that differently than the rest of us.”
Something easy. Something comfortable. Something that looks like effort went in to getting ready, but you might as well be wearing a night shirt. Bring on the tunic dress.
Also, can someone please explain to me why we have to practice walking down the aisle? We’ve all done this 400+ times, right? Unless Terry Tate Office Linebacker is involved, I think we have this.
I volunteered to do the bride’s makeup, so that complicates the morning a bit. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about pre-wedding attire, wear a button up shirt. Oversized if possible, so it can be removed without damaging hair or makeup. Also, something you won’t mind throwing away if a bridesmaid throws up on it (2005, don’t ask).
This Aerie shirt is perfect for that. At $16, it could wind up covered in regurgitated mimosa and/or cream blush, and I won’t care a bit.
Being the groom’s older sister, this wedding didn’t strike me as the place for a sexy dress. I was basically looking for something that said “sophisticated spinster.” This dress is a grown-up take on all those Self-Portrait dresses floating around. It shows enough skin not to be a nun’s habit without being too much.
A maxi dress and a long necklace… the look the says, “Gee, I want to be in bed with a bottle of Advil right now, but I was forced to eat eggs with relatives who I haven’t seen since Bush was in office.” Seriously, who schedules an 8:30am brunch the day after a wedding? Oh yeah, old Baptists who don’t drink.
I’ve mentioned this before, but the side vents in this dress are like your own personal climate control. Even when it’s 100-degrees out, the draft keeps you cooler than your average maxi dress.
All snark aside, I’m actually looking forward to this wedding. Though my offer to write the groom a check if he’ll just elope still stands. Seriously, people, Vegas…