Welcome back! The New Year is here, winter break is over, and awards season is upon us. The glitz, the glamour, the gowns…the drunken acceptance speeches. The ballroom was full of commotion, champagne, and the air smelled vaguely of sweat and self-tanner (seriously, John Boehner would’ve felt right at home).
This year, we learned that Amy and Tina will be leaving us. As long as they’re not replaced by James Franco and Anne Hathaway, I think we’ll all survive. George Clooney won the lifetime achievement award, mostly because his recent nuptials were the first sign of the apocalypse, and HFPA wanted to appease the gods.
77-year-old Jane Fonda made us all want to buy her workout tapes and hire her plastic surgeon. Some of the “surprise” winners proved the old adage, “You win an Oscar, you buy a Golden Globe.” And Chrissy Teigen proved that the best way to handle an embarrassing situation is to make fun of yourself first.
While many of the gowns were gorgeous, a few made me do a double-take, so let’s dive into the Monday Morning Styling. Why do I feel so comfortable cheering and criticizing red carpet attire? Because if you have enough clout to make this stiletto-clad walk, there is no excuse for looking anything less than your best. To whom much is given, much is expected.
Many women try to do the short dress, few succeed. Felicity Huffman looks so good in this white frock, she makes me want to start doing tricep curls right now.
Three words: Middle-Aged Little Mermaid
Number One: This is how you do a whole look. The hair, the dress, the makeup, the jewels, it works perfectly together.
Number Two: What miraculous device is holding her bust in place? A bra? Tape? Whatever it is, I need twenty.
I love the rosy color on her, and the texture is really interesting. Other than that, I’m completely perplexed. The neckline is something out of a Disney Princess’s wardrobe. My mind is also boggled by the work-appropriate pumps. Disappointing.
Allison Tolman in ?
Since most of the dresses on the red carpet are designer samples, it can be tough for woman larger than size 4 to find something to wear. But Allison Tolman looks chic in this classic black gown, and I love the large box clutch.
Recovering from illness, Emily Blunt proves that she is, in fact, just “one stomach flu away from her goal weight.” The turquoise jewelry really works, and the hair is great.
More gowns, including my best and worst dressed, after the jump…
This dress is incredible, but the hair and makeup just ruin it. It’s so depressing. I feel like I need a pint of Ben and Jerry’s to comfort my sorrows.
I have the utmost respect for any woman who is willing to wear a cut-out gown five weeks after giving birth, but the waist on this dress just hits her in the wrong place. But slow clap for the bravado.
Also, greatest makeup that I’ve ever seen. Flawless.
This is a really pretty gown. I think the pop of raspberry sequin keeps her from looking washed out in an otherwise nude gown. But every time I see it, I flash back to Reese Witherspoon circa 2006.
Speaking of Reese, she looks impeccable in this silver column gown. It’s a safe choice, but gorgeous.
I’ve seen this dress before. In 1998. At my junior prom. It was purchased at Maurice’s. I’m glad to see it found a new home after my Mom trucked it off to Goodwill.
I just love her. This pale pink is perfect with her skin tone. And I’m so obsessed with layered column gowns right now. Jenna Dewan-Tatum looked amazing in her layered Carolina Herrera gown as well.
My worst dressed could have been Lena Dunham in her ill-fitting Zac Posen and stained smile. It could have been Melissa McCarthy in her formal mime attire. Or it could have been Amal Clooney and those white satin gloves (such a disappointment). But no, one actress made all the others looked positively chic…
Do you think that after Keira admitted that she destroyed her Chanel wedding dress with red wine, Karl Lagerfeld decided that it was bed sheets and doilies from then on? Because there’s really no other explanation for this butterfly-printed bedsheet and lacy bedskirt concoction. How can this be the same woman?
I cannot believe I’m about to do this. My best dressed is an actress who annoys me in ways that I can barely stomach. But when a woman looks good, she looks good.
Katherine Heigl has a history of dressing more matronly than her years, but not last night. This midnight-navy Zac Posen is phenomenally constructed, just revealing enough (take a lesson, J.Lo), and perfectly fitted to her body. The relaxed hairstyle and minimal makeup and jewels give the dress a surprisingly relaxed look.
So whose looks did you love and hate?