Dear Belle,

Seven months ago, my supervisor left her job and I was promoted into her former position.  At the time, I was told that I would receive a new title and salary (at least an $8,000 increase) after a training period.  I have still not received my bump or my new title even though my training evaluation happened five months ago.

I know I should have gotten a firm committment in writing before I took the job, and I am kicking myself, but whenever I bring up the issue to my boss she tells me she is working on it.  How do I get my bump and my title without making her angry?

Sincerely,

Christine

As you said, not asking your boss to put everything in writing was a foolish decision, but you’re hardly the first woman to make this mistake. We all want to believe that our bosses have our best interests at heart, and that it’s okay to just let things play out, but it almost never is.  You cannot expect someone else to take care of you or to put your interests first.  

I’ve been in a similar situation twice, and if I have learned one thing it is that you must always, ALWAYS get everything in writing.

First, for the benefit of other women reading this post, let me lay out how your role in the promotion process should work before I address your situation specifically.

When you accept a promotion, you should get the following IN WRITING (by email will do): job title, effective start date, salary increase and a list of new responsibilities.  If they tell you that there will be a “testing” or “training” period, then you need to know exactly how long this period will last and whether there will be an evaluation at the end.

If your boss insists on talking to you in person instead of by email, which most will, after the conversation immediately walk back to your desk and write and email that says the following: Thank you so much for discussing the specifics of my promotion with me.  I am grateful for the opportunity to move into the position of (job title), effective (date) at (number) salary.  I am very grateful for this new challenge; please let me know if you need anything else from me.

This is a back door way of having a record of the conversation and confirming the specifics in case something goes awry later.  This is important because manyemployers don’t offer work contracts, so add as many of the particulars as you can while keeping the email short and conversational.

If your boss says to you, “Belle, I’d like to be able to tell you for sure how this is all going to work, but we’re sorting that out and you need to be patient,” take a deep breath before you proceed.  Too many women (and men) knee jerk react in these situations and either get upset, or melt in to a puddle and let the matter go.

Instead say to your boss, “I am so grateful for this opportunity, but if you could give me a better idea of the timeline for figuring out the specifics, I would appreciate it.”  This process should rarely, if ever, take more than one month. 

Onceyour boss gives you a ballpark, send an email like the one above thanking them for giving you a better idea of when the matter will be settled, and that you look forward to speaking about the specifics in 30 days (or whatever the specific number he/she gives you is).  Then relax, and go about doing good work.  I think it’s important, that once you have a timeline, your boss doesn’t feel like you’re not breathing down his neck.

If your boss refuses to give you firm expectations, you need to respectfully but forcefully push back.  This is not the time to be a shrinking violet.  I hate to say it this way, but this is the time to act and think like a man.  

In that situation, I would say to my boss, “I understand that you’re sorting this out, but a prolonged period of uncertainty doesn’t benefit either of us.  I think it would be best for both of us if we could agree on a timeline for when these decisions will be finalized as I have already taken on the responsibilities associated with the position.”

Maintain your calm.  Speak to your boss with respect.  Make eye contact.  And most importantly, emphasize that you want to work with them and help sort out the specifics in anyway you can.

Now, if you find yourself in Christine’s position, you need to give your boss one more opportunity to make good.  Send her an email explaining that you accepted this new position several months ago and that at that time she assured you that a new salary and title would be conveyed.  Explain that since you accepted this position you have performed all of the tasks associated with the new title.  Then tell her that you would like to work with her to finalize your new salary and title on or before (choose date two weeks to one month in the future), and ask if you can find a time to meet to discuss specifics. 

Don’t just knock on her door and show up, making an appointment shows you respect her time and her role as your boss.

It is a truly unprofessional employer who would receive that email and blow you off.  If she does, you need to determine whether there is someone else who can address this issue.  Do you have an HR department?  Is there another person who has an equal or higher title to hers who you can speak with?  Look for someone who can, at the very least, advocate for you.

Going over your boss’s head is obviously the solution of last resort, but if it has been more than 90 days and you do not have anything in writing, do not have a firm timeline and have not received your raise, then this strikes me as your only chance of receiving your due.

If this still does not result in some finality to the process, you need to consider whether this is somewhere you want to be working.  If your employer is so unprofessional or cares so little about their employees that promises are easily made and deferred, or even broken, you should consider looking for a job elsewhere.  Respect is a two way street, and if your boss isn’t showing you any, then it may be time to find a new line of work.