Sometimes, I watch the Oscar Red Carpet and think to myself, “Does she not own a mirror? Did she think that looked good? No.One.Stopped.Her?!?!?”
The biggest comedy of the year was Bridesmaids. This step forward for female comedians and actresses was nearly ruined last night when two of the movies stars decided to show up on the red carpet in rejected bridesmaid’s dresses from the Goodwill.
Wendi McLendon Covey in I Could Not Care Less
This photo actually makes this dress look okay, which is the amazing power of photography. On TV, this dress looked like a frilly, pink, sequined prom dress.
This dress and hairstyle combination would be suitable for a Midwestern bat mitzvah, but is far too young for a woman over the age of 40.
Melissa McCarthy in Marina Rinaldi
It pains me to put Melissa McCarthy on this list, but this dress was truly awful. The color washed her out. The style was not the least big flattering, mostly because the neckline is so awful. And McCarthy could have worn a paper bag and her fabulous Brian Atwood pumps and looked better.
Kristin Wiig in J. Mendel
While we’re criticizing the cast of Bridesmaids, let’s finish out the trifecta with Kristin Wiig in flesh-toned dress number 1,287. Seriously, there are other colors on the color wheel, Kristin, and any one of them would look better on you than this dried urine shade you seem so fond of wearing.
Also, if I could climb up on my soapbox for a moment, I loathe when vegetarian and vegan celebrities wear dresses by J. Mendel. They won’t eat meat because it’s wrong, but they’re happy to enrich a man who makes his living killing and skinning animals for their fur? Yeah, that makes sense.
Stacy Keibler in Marchesa
Is it just me or are Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig just phoning it in lately? I can’t remember the last time that I saw a Marchesa dress that I loved, or even liked. And this metallic lame monstrosity, complete with hip rosette continues that less than auspicious tradition.
Plus, Keibler’s look evokes my biggest formal attire pet peeve, when the dress, skin and hair are all the same color value. It looks bad on everyone.
Just two more award seasons until Keibler’s contract with Clooney is up and we get a new day player. Hopefully, one with a sense of style.
Viola Davis in Vera Wang
I love me some Viola Davis, but this dress was a schizophrenic silk stew of wrong.
The breasts were too prominent, and the sequin bodice is nothing but a distraction. Also, the skirt is having an identity crisis. Is it pleated? Is it ruffled? Is it a mermaid? Can it be all three? Only if it stops taking it’s lithium.
Also, I love Viola’s fabulous short wig, so why she abandoned that to show off an oddly hued “natural” do is beyond me. She was going for a cultural “statement,” which I applaud, but not in that particular shade of rust. Hair doesn’t come in rust, and the dye makes her look like she lost her eyebrows in a tragic accident.
Editrix Note: I’m catching hell in the comments for saying Davis’ hair is a statement. But Davis herself is the one who said “natural” hair is a “statement.” I was just paraphrasing her own comments. Natural was in quotes because I could think of a better adjective, so I quoted Davis.
Also, I criticized the color, not the style. Criticizing an unnatural rust shade on an African American actress is really no different than criticizing Kelly Osbourne’s purple hair or Cameron Diaz’s overly bleached tresses.
Lastly, to the commenter who said that this is Viola’s natural color, I don’t think it is. Click on the link above and you’ll see that the hair is much darker looking. But there is always a chance it’s bad lighting/camera trickery.
Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad
If this dress didn’t have sleeves, it would be massively improved, but the sheer stripes, the unflattering shape and the high fashion-blogger bun are all terrible. And worst of all, on TV, the sheer mesh covering the arm openings (?) made it look like Lopez had a terminal case of arm cellulite.
It’s been awhile since Jenny from the Block has had a red carpet hit, and frankly, the 10-year-old in the background of this photo looks better in stripes than she does. But this look, even with all it’s jaw dropping awfulness, is still not the worst look to walk down the red carpet last night…
Nancy O’Dell in Chagoury Couture
This dress should come with a barf bag. Or sunglasses. Or both. Definitely both.
I don’t even know what to say about the dress itself except that the highlighter yellow and black sequin palette is disgusting. The fit of the bodice was nice, but the dress made O’Dell’s rear end look huge. And the dress is about six inches too long. Why tailor your gown when you can let it puddle like brocade curtains?
Seriously, if your TV show is willing to procure any gown you can find, why would you choose this one? I hope she got paid a lot to wear it.