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2012 Oscar's Red Carpet: Close But No Cigar

As is tradition here at CHS, we will start with the dresses that I neither loved nor hated.  The dresses left me wanting but not loathing.  Basically, the gowns that made me yawn.

Rooney Mara in Givenchy

On the positive side, I was grateful to see Rooney Mara in a color other than black.  On the negative side, the decoration on the bust did nothing for her.  Also, why she insists on continuing to dress like Lisbeth Salander is anyone’s guess.  Oh, and if someone good get the girl some Crest Whitestrips that would be great.

Sandra Bullock in Marchesa

This dress was a total snore.  It’s a similar silhouette to her epic Marchesa from 2010 but with colors and embellishments that are pure Mother-of-the-Bride.  Now, if you excuse me, I need to chug a Red Bull, the dress is putting me to sleep.

Natalie Portman in Dior Haute Couture Vintage

Once you’ve worn a baby pink strapless gown with a bright, red, sequin rose on the bust, anything is a step up.  I like this dress, it fits well, I’m not crazy about the dots, but that’s vintage for you.  I also wouldn’t have done such a pointy necklace, it’s distracting.  

Also, did anyone else notice all of the women in black nail polish?  Is that back in vogue, now?

Berenice Bejo in Elie Saab

Usually, Elie Saab can do no wrong in my eyes, but the commenters during last nights liveblog all agreed that the beading looked like something grown in a Petri dish.  I also didn’t like that the dress, bag and shoes were identically color matched.  Had the earrings not been emerald in color, I would have begun to wonder if Bejo’s stylist had a deal with Dyeables.

Cameron Diaz in Gucci

Cameron Diaz is almost 40, and it really feels like she aged overnight.  Photos of her the past few months with the overly bleached hair and the overly tanned skin make me worry about aging gracefully.  But even though this look is not the red carpet Cameron of old, it’s okay.

Elie Kemper in Armani Prive

This dress came the closest to making the best dressed list, but when I added it, I realized that it was only the rich coppery color that I loved.  Color aside, the gown itself is just okay, so it belongs on the list of also-rans.


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  1. Helena says:

    Rooney Mara is beautiful in an other-worldly kind of way. I agree about her teeth, though. Her pallor really makes their non-whiteness obvious. She did spend the last 2 years smoking like a chimney as Lisbeth Salander…Fincher ought to have paid for a few bleaching sessions.

    February 27, 2012/Reply
  2. DB says:

    I can't find a single picture of Rooney Mara smiling anywhere, so I can't tell if I agree on the teeth or not. She told Seacrest that she picked the gown out the morning of – that explains why it looks too big on her.

    February 27, 2012/Reply
  3. Stephanie says:

    Rooney's dress is Givenchy.

    February 27, 2012/Reply
  4. Katie says:

    I love Ellie Kemper, but her hair was bad. Bad.
    I loved the color of Berenice Bejo's dress, but I don't think it worked for her.

    February 27, 2012/Reply
  5. K says:

    Also loved the color of Elie Kemper's dress- didn't love that it seemed to be the exact same color as her hair. Again, this photo makes it looks better than it was.

    February 27, 2012/Reply