Ask Belle: The Best Advice

Apr 22, 2011

Dear Belle,

This may not be the kind of question that you want for “Ask Belle,” but what’s the best advice that anyone has ever given you?

I’d love to hear it, even if you don’t want to post it.

Sincerely, Andi

I’m not sure whether you’re looking for relationship advice, life advice or career advice, so, perhaps, I should just give you all three?  

On Career.  “You have to be willing to reach for the brass ring if you are ever going to grab it.”  –The Princess

On Life.  I learned the best lesson about life from watching someone else who’s life I thought was a disaster. It’s not a direct quote, just lessons appropriated from my experiences during some tumultuous times in my life, and those of an Internet Fameball named Julia Allison whose blog I used to read.

If you can’t sleep, if you’re up during the night and asleep during the day, the problem isn’t insomnia.  There is something seriously wrong in your life and your conscience isn’t letting you rest until you fix it.  So taking an Ambien won’t help.

On Relationships.  “My colleague told me: “It took a long time, but I finally figured it out. When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.” — Randy Pausch

I’m afraid that I’m still trying to learn this lesson, but it’s a good one.  Maybe some day I will master it.

Photo taken by Living Wilderness

If you have any advice to share in the comments, feel free.  For a long time, I wrote off any attempts made to give me advice.  But perhaps learning to listen to other people’s advice–especially when I don’t like it, but I know that they’re right–is the best lesson that I’ve learned in my twenties.

If you celebrate, I hope you have a Happy and Blessed Easter.  And if you don’t, I hope you have a great weekend.  See you next week!

xoxo

Belle

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  1. Rory says:

    Don't be afraid to take risks. Some of the biggest risks I've taken with my life have made me insanely happy and are probably the events/situations where I've learned the most about my self. To go along with that, don't be afraid to admit something didn't work out. Catch yourself, regroup, and then march on!

  2. Rory says:

    Don't be afraid to take risks. Some of the biggest risks I've taken with my life have made me insanely happy and are probably the events/situations where I've learned the most about my self. To go along with that, don't be afraid to admit something didn't work out. Catch yourself, regroup, and then march on!

  3. RMS says:

    The best advice my dad ever gave me was “You can't expect more from people than they are capable of giving.” I went through a very hard time after my mom passed away and I was hurt because people I expected to be there for me were not. My dad's statement summed it up perfectly. I was hurt because I had high expectations of my friends, not because they were purposely acting in a hurtful way. We were all juniors in college, so how could I realistically expect other 20 year olds to take care of me? This advice about expectations has helped me to be realistic in other parts of my life (dating, career, etc). Thanks Dad!

  4. clo*bee says:

    This is such a true and lovely post – same goes for the first comment. That is a tough lesson to learn, but absolutely invaluable for life.

  5. P says:

    from my mom – don't give other people the power to make you feel bad about yourself. very empowering

  6. SB says:

    My dad always said, “It's not work if you wake up and do what you love to do everyday. That is what you should strive for.” Words to live by!

  7. Jessica says:

    From my Dad:

    ” Always make sure you have a plan B. And then make sure that Plan B is not the same as Plan A.”

  8. annie says:

    you deserve whatever you accept. demand more.

  9. Ms. C says:

    Belle, you are on a roll! Great question choices and great posts this week.

    Best Advice (applicable to career, life, and relationships): No one will respect boundaries that you don't set.

    Happy Easter!

  10. Megan says:

    From my dad: “It isn't bragging if you can do it.” I think most people, especially women, are afraid to speak up about our accomplishments, especially when we're trying to move ahead in our careers. But if you've done the work and you know what you're talking about, you should speak up with confidence.

  11. terri says:

    “never ask anyone to do a task you are not willing to do yourself.”

  12. tiaracara says:

    “You don't get what you don't ask for”… this advice applies to all relationships (including friendships), your career, while shopping (ok, not always while shopping- sometime we ALL get a sweet unexpected surprise in form of a sale, a bargain, etc), and in most life situations. You want something to happen? Ask for it! Sometimes you just have to ask the universe- and other times you have to flat out ask for it on paper (a budget to launch a new program, a job, a promotion)…

    I also like: “sometimes it is better to beg forgiveness than it is to ask permission” or as my boss says…”Ready, FIRE, Aim”

  13. L says:

    On relationships from my friend's father who has since passed away: “No boy is worth crying over…and the one who is – he'll never make you cry.”

  14. EG says:

    “You always have the time, you just need to make the time.” — one of my favorite family members, who always seems to be going at a million mph.

  15. P says:

    My father has always told my sister and I that, “you can make yourself happy or you can make yourself miserable”. When everything seems to be going wrong it always helps to remind myself of that.

  16. Rory says:

    Don't be afraid to take risks. Some of the biggest risks I've taken with my life have made me insanely happy and are probably the events/situations where I've learned the most about my self. To go along with that, don't be afraid to admit something didn't work out. Catch yourself, regroup, and then march on!

  17. Leigh says:

    This isn't advice that someone's given me, exactly, but it's something I learned in a combat zone, and it's probably the best advice I have to pass along: life is too short to waste, so don't.

    Drama, fear, getting hung up on the inconsequential–all these things are a waste of time you don't have.

  18. k-t says:

    from my dad: You can tell a lot about a guy by his friends. Translation: would you want to be friends with his friends? Does he treat them well and vice versa? If either answer is no, don't waste your time with him.

    from my first boss: Choose your attitude. You can't change what has already happened, but you can change your attitude, approach, and reaction. Choosing a positive attitude does wonders for how others treat you, too.

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