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2011 Oscars: Belle's Worst Dressed

Sadly, being boring beyond words isn’t a crime, but it should be.  There weren’t as many terrible mistakes on the carpet as in years past, but there certainly wasn’t much to write home about.  These were my least favorite looks of the night.

Marisa Tomei in vintage Charles James

Is a vintage prom dress in taffeta and tulle really the best choice for a woman pushing 50?  This dress gives new meaning to the phrase “bottom heavy” and reminds me of the heavy fabrics they used in the 1800s to drape coffins. 

But at least she was wearing jewelry.  It was like a bauble and bling famine on the carpet last night.  Van Cleef and Chopard must be beside themselves with grief.

Halle Berry in Marchesa

After Halle’s Golden Globes fashion disaster, I wanted to like this dress, I really did, but I couldn’t.  If her GG dress was Catwoman inspired, this dress was a jewel encrusted scratching post.  It fits her beautifully and the color is nice, but the bottom looks like it was shredded by an Aderrall-addicted kitty.

Reese Witherspoon in Armani Prive

I know that a lot of people liked this look, but I thought Resses looked like a vintage Barbie.  

When dressing up, there’s a fine line between wearing a look and wearing a costume.  This ensemble crosses that line.  The outfit was so mod that I thought I was watching a remake of Valley of the Dolls.

Scarlett Johansson in Dolce Gabbana

My first reaction upon seeing this dress: Is that ric-rac? Nope, it’s just ugly, like a 1960s table cloth.

Gwyneth Paltrow in Calvin Klein

Beam me up, Gwynnie!  I like liquid sequins as much (or much, much more) than the next girl, but this look is positively Star Trek.  

And with such a modern dress, why would you add a floral brooch?  And more importantly, why would you add it to the waist?

Jennifer Hudson in Versace

This dress should have been a homerun, but the strangely two-toned and overly visible cleavage ruined it for everyone.  And as for the hair, it’s pure Princess Leia.  Don’t believe me, click here.

Worst of all, however, was the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow sang (?) while J-Hud presented.  There’s just something inherently wrong about that.

But the worst dressed of the night was…

Nicole Kidman in Dior

Really, what isn’t wrong with this look?  The rumpled texture.  The ill-fitting bust.  The strange chevron apron (?) that makes it look like she’s smuggling an half-open umbrella under her dress.  The red peep-toes.  The snooze-inducing ponytail.  Yes, it’s safe to say that I hated everything about Kidman’s look except her arm candy.

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  1. MidwestChic says:

    These are all absolutely terrible!

    Reese Witherspoon is just such a classy woman that I can't help but love almost every look she has. If anyone is going to be able to pull of Mod-Barbie, its Reese!

    November 30, -0001/Reply
  2. Allie says:

    Halle's dress was so boring, it was hard to even realize it was different from a dress she wore to a previous awards ceremony even a decade ago. I love Jennifer's choice in color, but the neckline was not flattering to her bust, and the hair was awful. I agree with the rest except Reese – it DOES look EXACTLY like vintage Barbie, but somehow I was totally loving it. And I loved seeing her up close and knowing there was no Botox, veneers, or fillersadjusting that face. She is aging beautifully and I think is more gorgeous now than a decade ago.

    Marisa's dress looked as though it was made from a Butterick pattern.

    February 28, 2011/Reply
  3. Suburban Sweetheart says:

    I actually loved Halle Berry's dress… and as for Reese Witherspoon, every prom-going 17-year-old I knew in 2002 wore that dress. And if they didn't wear it to prom, they wore it as a bridesmaid in the same era. That dress needs no comeback, certainly not on one of Hollywood's prettiest starlets.

    “The strange chevron apron (?) that makes it look like she's smuggling an half-open umbrella under her dress.” This line made me actually laugh out loud. Spot-on, Belle!

    February 28, 2011/Reply
  4. RMS says:

    I totally agree about Reese's look. Some of my friends used the term “barbie” as a compliment and reason to like her ensemble. I, like you, used that term as a critique. I described her dress as something I would have wanted to wear to senior prom.

    February 28, 2011/Reply
  5. prosecutordc says:

    I've heard Reese's dress described as dressing like a pint of guiness with some very big (too big) hair….I agree. Ugh.

    February 28, 2011/Reply
  6. MidwestChic says:

    These are all absolutely terrible!

    Reese Witherspoon is just such a classy woman that I can't help but love almost every look she has. If anyone is going to be able to pull of Mod-Barbie, its Reese!

    March 1, 2011/Reply
  7. Valerie says:

    I wasn't wild about Halle's dress but feel like she would look beautiful in a potato sack with armholes.

    Reese's dress best summarized by a friend who said “wow, that is a very Prom look.” But again, this is a woman who looks adorable no matter what.

    March 1, 2011/Reply