Faux Pas: It's Time to Declare a Cease Fire
Mar 31, 2010
Last week, the lovely Ms. Spinach wrote an article for Express Night Out examining some of the fashion faux pas that are prevalent in the District. On her list of atrocious fashion sins was women who wear panty hose with their open toed shoes. Amen, sister.
Stylists have tried for years to convince American women that wearing hose with open toed shoes is a miscarriage of fashion, but no matter how hard they try, some women just refuse to change. In fact, some hose wearers believe that it is not only right, but proper to flash their toe seams:
“I agree with all you say … except no pantyhose with open-toed shoes. Sorry, if I am wearing a nice dress or skirt and blouse ensemble, I am going to wear hose. I will not feel “dressed” otherwise.”–Kay Minton
It’s amazing to me that anyone thinks that this looks good, but every day, I see women walking around the Hill in open toed shoes and hose. And of all the non-wedding related topics covered on this blog, the discussion of whether to wear hose and what shoes to wear them with has easily resulted in the most vitriol. Between the nasty comments and the angry e-mails, it’s pretty clear that D.C. is divided into two camps: The Hose Wearers and The Nylon Deniers.
Hose Wearers insist that pantyhose are the only way to hide your flaws and make your legs look lovely. They chastise any woman who leaves the house without lacquer on her thighs, as if we are breaking some kind of unwritten rule of womanhood. As my Nana says, “Well honey, ladies always wear stockings.”
Conversely, we Nylon Deniers believe that pantyhose are an antiquated relic of a bygone era like corsets or girdles. We don’t understand how any woman could wear hose in the humid summer months. And we believe that wearing hose with open toed shoes is like wearing a plaid shirt under a pinstriped suit with a hot pink polka-dotted belt.
And every time that I mention pantyhose on this site, the Nylon Deniers and the Hose Wearers grab their pitchforks and light their torches for a rumble in the comments section. But what if we could all just get along?
Thanks to Berkshire Legwear and their “Hose Without Toes” maybe we these warring factions can finally declare peace, or at least sign some kind of cease fire agreement. The Hose Wearers can don their nylons (and stop sending me angry e-mails about how my Mother didn’t raise me right), but I will no longer have to look at sandaled feet encased in nylon prophylactics. It’s a win-win situation.
Frankly, ending the war between the Wearers and the Deniers is the most significant move towards world peace since Yalta. Now, where the hell is my Nobel Prize?