From Hell's Heart, I Stab at Thee
Mar 26, 2010
Photo by Uggboy
From the Georgetown Metropolitan:
Why is GM bothering you with fashion critique? Because [Ugg the] purveyors of a canklefied silhouette are coming to Georgetown. At least according to the ANC agenda that was release yesterday. According to it, UGG Australia is moving 1249 Wisconsin Ave., where Diesel used to be.
Frankly, I’m thrilled that the powers that be at Ugg Australia are finally opening a store in the District. That’s right, I’m thrilled. Ecstatic, in fact, that the canklefied (what a great word) fashions of Down Under will soon be sold to the masses of sorority girls, trophy wives and less-than-frugal fashionistas who populate Georgetown’s cobblestone sidewalks from an actual brick and mortar location.
Why am I thrilled, you ask?
Because the construction of a “flagship store” so close to my home will finally provide me with a convenient place to picket. After all, Washington, D.C. loves a good protest. Sure, I could go to Nordstrom and picket outside the shoe department, but having a flagship store makes the image so much more iconic.
To get this anti-Ugg campaign off off of the ground with a bang, I’m considering the following designs for the campaign buttons:
You Don’t Mess with a Classic
The New Hotness
Tough to Read but It Gets the Point Across
My fellow Washigntonians, I cannot wait until the blissful summer day, when I may stand in front of the Ugg Store and exercise my First Amendment rights: freedom of speech, freedom of assembly and freedom from having to see ugly, filth covered, water stained suede boots roaming the streets of D.C. I hope that when the glorious day comes, I can count on you to stand by my side in the picket line of glory as I rail against the slobbification of America.
Down with the shearling overlords from Down Under! We must take our country back one hideous boot at a time!
All images are copyrighted under a Creative Commons license and the sole property of Capitol Hill Style. If you would like to use them, please contact Belle at capitolhillstyle (at) gmail (dot) com. Fight the Uggly.