Faux Pas: Kharmic Retribution

Mar 26, 2010

 

On Wednesday, I entered the House cafeteria in search of a quick bite in between meetings.  As is usually the case during the springtime, the cafeteria was packed full of staffers, constituents and Close Up kids all fighting for a spot in the cashier line.  After dishing up some sinfully delicious mac and cheese, I managed to work my way through the gauntlet toward the cash register.  

That’s when the fun started.

As I waited in line, a visitor, lobbying for a well known pro-Israel group, swung her Vera Bradley tote over her shoulder striking me in the side of the head.  That’s right, the woman hit me in the head with her paisley printed nightmare of a bag virtually assaulting me with her tackiness.  I was aghast.

As I stood silently wondering if I might seriously be injured (I think the woman may have been hiding a cinder block in her purse), it dawned on me that this was, without a doubt, the most ironic situation that I had ever been apart of in my life.  It was like the bag knew of my deep, abiding hatred for Vera Bradley and swung wide just to bitch slap me in retribution.  

In fact, the woman hit me so hard that for a moment, I wondered if I hadn’t been too hard on the garish bags.  Perhaps, I needed to take another look to ensure that I hadn’t pre-judged a trend that on second look, I might find truly stylish (ie. Gladiator sandals).  That was when I realized that I was clearly suffering from a Traumatic Brain Injury and needed to consult a physician.  

Concussion averted, I am now back to my normal snarky self complete with a nausea-inducing dislike for Vera Bradley.  

And so, I pledge to you, my dear readers, that I will never surrender in the fight against this gauche Midwestern fashion staple.  Because, like in politics, it’s when your opponent starts attacking you that you know you’re making an impact.  I will simply need to be more vigilant in the future.

P.S. The photo above is basically my worst nightmare come to life.  Also, I guarantee that the model is wearing Uggs.  

Style

share this post

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. E says:

    HAAAA!!!! Brilliant!!!!!! I couldn’t agree with you anymore on how horrible looking Vera Bradley patterns are!!!!

  2. Maggie says:

    This sounds exactly like something that would happen to me. Karma’s a bitch, but I think Vera Bradley probably is too.

  3. Anna says:

    Hillarious! Keep up the good fight

  4. Fasshonaburu says:

    Vera Bradley is the bane of my existence, why does everyone in DC insist carrying these hideous bags?

  5. Run4lyfe says:

    What do you hate about the Vera Bradley bags so much? The print? That’s it looks like a quilt? I have the small duffle bag and it is perfect for traveling on the LIRR and Jersey Transit. Perfect size and since it’s “smooshy” and soft it’s great to lean against on the train. Or do you not like Vera Bradley and Uggs because they have become really popular and you don’t want to jump on the band wagon and like them too? I love my Uggs, but yes, some people wear them badly, such as with leggings when they clearly should not be wearing leggings with a short shirt, or when they are covered in salt. But I look cute in them and also when I sport my Vera messenger bag to and from class or my duffle on commutes so i’m gonna keep rockin’ it : )

Join The List

Stay up to date on the latest from Capitol Hill Style!

sUBSCRIBE

Ask the Editor: Vol. IV, No Twenty-Three

This week, we have a wedding dress search coming up empty, cell phone slings that don’t suck, sunscreen tips for kids, and more. Let’s take a peek in the reader mail bag.

9

READ MORE 

Recent Posts

Two Ways: The Olive Striped Shirt

I’d write a quippy intro, but it’s 5:00AM and I’m sitting in an airport lounge, so let’s just get on with it, shall we?

9

READ MORE 

The Find: An Olive Striped Shirt

As you may have noticed, I do not have the most creative personal style. I am here for basics. But what I’m always looking for is basic-but, a piece of clothing that is basic but just a little different.

1

READ MORE 

VIEW ALL POSTS

Ask the Edit, Style, Top Posts | June 20, 2024

Ask the Editor: Vol. IV, No Twenty-Three

This week, we have a wedding dress search coming up empty, cell phone slings that don’t suck, sunscreen tips for kids, and more. Let’s take a peek in the reader mail bag.

9

READ MORE 

How To Wear It, Posts, Style | June 18, 2024

Two Ways: The Olive Striped Shirt

I’d write a quippy intro, but it’s 5:00AM and I’m sitting in an airport lounge, so let’s just get on with it, shall we?

9

READ MORE 

Features, Posts, The Range | June 18, 2024

The Find: An Olive Striped Shirt

As you may have noticed, I do not have the most creative personal style. I am here for basics. But what I’m always looking for is basic-but, a piece of clothing that is basic but just a little different.

1

READ MORE 

Features, Monday Mornings, Posts | June 17, 2024

The Mondays: June 17, 2024

From the rooftop deck of my D.C. hotel I can see it all. The Capitol building, where I worked on and off for a decade. My first apartment where my three-doors-down neighbor was a young Senator Obama. My second apartment building where I bounced from unit-to-unit as my salary rose and I was finally able […]

6

READ MORE 

RECENT POSTS

©2023 CAPITOL HILL STYLE | SITE BY LEIGH THE STUDIO