Academy Awards 2010: The Middle

Last night, the toast of Tinseltown flocked to the Kodak Theatre for the 82nd Annual Academy Awards.

Dressed in their finest borrowed clothing and rented jewelry, the Hollywood A-List paraded down the carpet to promote their films, revive their careers and hopefully land on the best dressed list.  The entire experience should have been a sartorial delight, but sadly, it was broadcast on the E! channel.  Delight is not in Ryan Seacrest’s vocabulary.

As a result, viewers were treated to two minutes of commercials for every five minutes of red carpet coverage.  These commercials ensured that every movie buff will flock to The Last Song, The Bounty Hunter, The Back-Up Plan, Prince of Persia and Date Night when they land in theaters later this month.  These commercials were absolutely necessary because next year, those five films will undoubtedly be nominated for Best Picture and E! wouldn’t want you to miss out.

For those of us who decided to add an extra half-hour to your red carpet viewing by tuning into ABC’s “special coverage,” we were treated to the pure torture that was watching the narcissistic Sherri Shepard and the treacly Kathy Ireland try to interview actual celebrities.  Of course, these were the same celebrities who had just been interviewed on the E! channel. If you were watching closely, you probably noticed that they also happened to be the same celebrities who star in the five movies  advertised during the commercial breaks.  Ah, commercialism is fun.

Also, Kathy Ireland?  As one commenter put it, “The last time I heard the name Kathy Ireland it was 1999 and I was in a K-Mart buying decorative towels.”  Bravo.

Surviving this special brand of torture took an internal fortitude usually reserved for fasting Buddhist monks standing in the middle of a grocery store, but the participants in the CHS liveblog were up to the challenge.  And for our sacrifice were rewarded with sporadic glimpses of the fabulous fashions that populated this year’s red carpet.  

The following looks are the fashions that weren’t gorgeous enough to make Belle’s Best list but pretty enough to deserve a second look.  Thank you to Just Jared for posting the images promptly.

Demi Moore has made a deal with Devil.  But if I could look like her well into my 40s, my soul might be a small price to pay.  Then again, I work in politics; no demon would be interested in my soul.

If I were wearing a beautiful, midnight blue Monique Lhuillier gown on the Oscars red carpet, I could probably manage a smile.  But, then again, I’m not the always chipper Kristen Stewart.  Perhaps, I should just be thankful she didn’t bite her lower lip.

I like ruffles but, wow, that’s a lot of ruffles.  Somehow though, Vera Farmiga manages to pull off this voluminous Marchesa gown without looking like it will swallow her whole.  

How can you not love Gabi Sidibe? She’s youthful, vibrant and the antithesis of the disaffected, scowling young actresses who always seems to be so over it.  It was clear to everyone that she loved her Marchesa gown and was thrilled to be enjoying her red carpet moment.

Sandra Bullock completes our Marchesa trifecta with this stunning silver, sequined gown.  And while I adore this gown enough to put it on my best dressed list, Miss M would probably kill me.  And since she knows where I live, we’ll just call it first runner-up.