On the inside, I’m 30. Maybe 33 on a bad day.
In my heart, I still feel like the young staffer racing through the tunnels between House office buildings, convinced that the right blazer, a good hair day, and enough confidence could get me through anything. I still listen to the same music, and think I can keep working until 2:00AM, even though my body clocks out before the nightly news. So it’s a shock every time the outside world reminds me that I’m 44.
The hardest part is that no one tells you how strange it feels to be in this in-between stage. I’m not old, but apparently I’m not young anymore either. Brands don’t know what to do with women my age. They’ve figured out that they can’t sell me a crop top. but what about a blazer with a side cutout? They’re constantly trying to sell me anti-aging creams, but they sell those to tween girls now, so maybe that’s not the proof I’m looking for.
The influencers my age are either having an upper bleph and pretending they’re still early-30s or trying to make giving zero f**ks about their appearance a rallying cry. I don’t want to do either. I want clothes that look current without looking like I raided a teenager’s closet (which incidentally is my 1998 closet). I want to be taken seriously at work without being treated like a relic of a bygone era. And I’d like to stop getting ads for compression socks, face lifting tape, and perimenopause supplements that feel like a scam.
Here’s what I’m learning: the gap between how old you feel and how old the world thinks you are isn’t something that can be fixed. It’s just something to live with. This is the age I am. Next year, I’ll be a different one. Beauty standards will still be based around youthfulness. The other Moms will still complain about aging when they’re barely old enough to be President. My co-workers will still talk about 2008 the way I talked about the 1980s. And the world will spend madly on.
+ The Motherhood We Lost to Managing Our Husbands. (Olivia Howell)
+ Obsessed with Martha Stewart for Bandolier. Great for moms.
+ The shaky promise of smearing estrogen cream onto your face. (Allure)
+ Loving these velvet ballet flats with jeans for casual holiday parties.
+ These Miso-Butter Sweet Potatoes are the perfect fall side dish. (Healthyish)
+ Banana’s new arrivals are incredible. This winter coat is an absolute stunner.
+ How to remodel Congress inside and out? An insider’s guide to fixing government. (UVA Miller Center)
+ Bought these mini-lip treatments for every teen girl on my Christmas list.
+ Women still face too much bulls**t at work and beyond. (Wired)
+ Holiday Outfit: a shiny sequin skirt, a pretty, easy sweater, and a chic suede flat.
+ The Real Real wants to teach you how to shop and how to style. (Vanity Fair)
+ This Tate button up is one of the best purchases I made in 2026.
+ This carousel about ancient books we’ve lost is mind-blowing. (Instagram)
+ Reiss’s Outlet section is becoming my favorite place to shop. Sort by size for easy shopping!
+ The healthy habits 15 women over 50 wish they had started sooner. (Marie Claire UK)
+ The cool Mom at Sloane’s daycare is wearing these winter boots.
{this post contains affiliate links that may generate commission for the author}
That first article! Holy hell. “Perhaps many mothers are so accustomed to preventing the next conflict that they no longer recognize how much of their daily life is devoted to anticipation.”
Uggghhhh
This is an issue for married women in general, not just mothers. But it must be exacerbated 20x, minimum, for mother’s.
A few months ago I saw an Instagram video that said: I can prove the patriarchy exists because fathers expect to learn parenting from mothers who became parents at the same moment they did.
Mind blown.