Aging is a trip. Every week a new issue, challenge or problem. Every month different from the last. Doctors can offer little help because for centuries women’s concerns about their health and wellbeing have been dismissed. So here we are — a generation of women who thought menopause and the impacts of aging were things that happened to women in their 50s — trying to navigate careers, motherhood, self-esteem and personal health while dealing with a cascading flow of new aches, pains, and challenges. Here are a few of the things I am doing to limit the effects of midlife on my appearance.
Teeth. With 30 year old dental work, gum recession, a lifetime of not flossing enough, and a perpetually clenched jaw, my poor teeth are suffering. The first thing I did was switch toothpaste to one with a stupid amount of fluoride in it. It helps with sensitivity and prevents cavities, especially since my community does not fluoridate the tap water.
I need to floss. I know I need to floss. Have I flossed? No. Will I floss? No. Luckily, I ordered this Quip Water Flosser a while back and it has really improved my gum health. My lower teeth are held in place by a wire retainer, and this is the only way I can floss around that thing without pain.
Whitening? I don’t have the patience to walk around with a strip on anymore. Perhaps some day I will pay my dentist for the professional treatment, but not today. Instead, I keep this whitening pen in my purse and apply it while I’m waiting for gas to pump, the car wash to be finished, or Sloane to leave school.
Facial Hair. I am one long vacation hair away from a ZZ Top beard. I am committed tweezer (these are my favorite) but lately the supply of hair has outstripped my desire to pull it out one hair at a time. So I switched back to my trusty electric razor, and I will probably start going in to have my chin waxed. I bought this tiny wax warmer, but I haven’t mastered doing it home.
Hair Loss and Greying. I am now going in to get my roots touched up every four weeks. My stylist thinks I’m insane. I care not a snit. I have always had an unhealthy fixation on my hair and once my roots start jumping out, my mood tanks. I’ve used a few home touch up kits in a pinch, and Madison Reed is the best one. Just make sure to have your stylist pick your shade.
I recently noticed that my eyebrows are also going grey. A true delight. For every day, I fill them in with this phenomenal $12 NYX brow pencil. Recently, however, I started tinting them at home with beard dye. Another influencer suggested this as a way to avoid the pink tax. I use the medium brown shade. I also apply it with a disposable eye brow spoolie, and only leave it on for five minutes instead of seven. Your mileage may vary.
Taking Gruns helped my hair growth more than any other multi-vitamin I’ve taken. I have a love/hate relationship with these vitamins because the quality control is spotty and the price is eye popping. Some packs are perfectly gummy, some packs are super grainy and kind of gross. I’ve learned to chew my way through it and just think of England.
Skincare. My skincare routine has never been simpler (or cheaper). Prequel Gleanser saves the skin on my body and face from getting too dry, while still cleansing well. I also love their AM/PM moisturizer — it’s just enough moisture without making me oily. Both products are available at Target.
As for serums, the Molecular Hero Serum from Mother Science is always on my counter. I use it in the morning. I also recently started using two new products that I’m not ready to endorse yet, but really like — the Dr. Ellen Gendler DNA smartDrops and the Skinceuticals AGE Interrupter Ultra Serum. The last one is a huge investment, so until I’m ready to lay down on the tracks for it, I am not going to label it a must have. But early indicators are bright.
As for SPF, I buy mine from overseas through Care2Beauty. I like the LaRoche Posay brand.
So how are you fighting the impacts of aging on your appearance? I know someday I will probably care about this a lot less, but I doubt it will be soon. It’s hard to work in an industry where everyone is younger than you and not worry that looking old could hard your advancement.
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Hi – love the blog and long time reader! Could you pls provide the favorite tweezer link. Have the same issue!
Here it is! https://amzn.to/4h1xuvY
Here is something no one told me: ALL of your hair turns white, everywhere on your body.
Other things I have learned:
* All that money my parents paid for braces and retainers? I had to do it again in my late 50s (this time with Invisalign) because teeth shift.
* A couple years into menopause, the texture of my hair changed completely, and not in a good way.
* Before you take antibiotics, ask both your MD and your pharmacist about the effect on tendons and whether you should stop exercising while you take them.
So true, my first grey hair wasn’t on my head, lol
Oh, teeth is such a difficult thing. I empathize; mine suck. Since you’re already importing your sunscreen (same), if you’re open to additional toothpaste recommendations, might I suggest one with nanohydroxyapatite (nHAp)? I import mine, but US-based companies make them now. I am PRO fluoride, too, and believe this is a better-together thing. nHAp helps remineralize teeth – NASA discovered it in like the 60s or 70s, did nothing with it but sell the info on it to Japan, who has been enjoying incredible toothpaste ever since. We’re only now starting to catch up.
My creds? Lifetime of weak enamel, and 18 years of dental neglect (didn’t have proper care, brushed but not ‘right’, didn’t floss) that I had to spend insane amounts to fix in my early 20s. Breaks. Fillings. Extractions. Root canals/crowns. I import my nHAp toothpaste from Japan – Apagard Premio Premium Type is my favorite.
In the US, Boka, Davids, and Cocolab all have some (even with novel flavors), and I know Target carries Boka. Now, I also use a fluoride toothpaste – sometimes I alternate day/night, sometimes I apply a little of both to my toothbrush like a psychopath. If that’s too much hassle, Dr. Jen has a combo fluoride + nHAp + xylitol option that is more convenient than my high-maintenance routine.
Certainly, I cleaned up my habits, too – I do floss daily, now (Invisalign helped cement that as a habit) – but I was still cavity-prone. In the 13 years since I started using nHAp toothpaste, though, I haven’t had a SINGLE one.
Wishing zero dental drama for everyone!
RiseWell too! My dentist recommended Risewell, my whole family uses it (my kids love the “Cake” flavor, shocker). It has helped my gum sensitivity on my left side.
Then I use Dr. Tungs floss, cardamom flavor. I really hate the slippery floss, and moving to a thicker waxy one has been easier for me to be consistent flosser.
And I’ve been using an electric toothbrush for about five years. Can’t believe it took me so long to switch over. Electric toothbrushes are amazing and last forever.
I just picked up Dr. Mary Claire Haver’s book on perimenopause. I’d like to enter my 40s armed with knowledge! I just read the “zone of chaos” chapter and oh boy, fun times ahead.
Oh, thank you for the tip on Risewell! I will add it to my list to check out.
Also water flossers ARE badass, I have and use one too. It was huge for my health before I had invisalign (tons of crowding / difficult to floss + when I was waiting to repair/extract breaks, to keep things clean)
1. strength training / heavy weights. the muscle really helps fill out my arms and legs – i run skinny and feel like my skin would be pretty loose otherwise. (strength training has physical benefits too obv! but this particular moment is for the aesthetic benefits.)
2. botox. i get 24 units every ~5 months, and my forehead retains a lot of movement while keeping my 11s at bay. i absolutely notice a difference.
3. consistent skin routine and conquering skin picking. strangely, the thing that’s helped most with kicking my picking habit is maintaining longer, sharper nails :shrug:
and then the last thing is when i find myself fixating on something (sagging along my jawline or wrinkly kneecaps or whatever) i try to remind myself that i’ll never again be as young as i am in this moment, and in the future i’ll look at pictures of today and think “i used to look so good.” it actually does help.
Right. What the actually F* about eyebrows turning white/gray??? Anyway, since Covid I mostly eschew makeup, but wear eyebrow gel every day to appear less like the perimenopausal apparently alien I am. Currently using Merritt, but welcome suggestions. Grandebrow noticeably increased the volume… of white eyebrow hairs.
Maybelline Super lock or NYX brow gel – don’t over pay for brow gel!! Both make tinted and clear versions.
Totally agree!
I’m using Retin-A from Amazon Pharmacy ($75 for the prescription and everything) and feel like it’s much more effective and usually cheaper than anything at Sephora. I miss getting Botox and I’m planning to start again – I feel like that $400 is so impactful!
I made the decision to just let my hair go grey, it’s about 10-15% right now and as it gets more I’ll probably use a purple shampoo.
I stopped using foundation most days and just use concealer and Loreal Lumi Glotion from the grocery store (an awesome recommendation from this comment section)! Also from the grocery store cosmetics aisle, the e.l.f. eyebrow pomade is great and $6!
50 something here battling grey hair since I was in my 30’s, but having grey hair appearing on my eyebrows was (weirdly) more depressing.
Yes, I’m now also dyeing my eyebrows.
But I also started using NAD supplements for energy levels (my GP/doctor said that the evidence for taking NAD is not conclusive yet – but try it in moderation) and WOW my grey eyebrows stopped multiplying in months.
And I’m very very cautious about taking a silly amount of supplements every day – definitely not the sort of person who takes 6+ vitamins a day lol!
Would you share which NAD supplement you are using please? It’s always hard to sift through the options.
Yes off course, but I do have to say that I’m in the UK, so not sure if the same formula is available globally.
The brand of NAD supplements I took is Vivanmn, and was recommended to me by a friend:
https://vivanmn.com/
It took about a few months for me to feel the energy gain, which was when I also saw the grey eyebrows slow down. Best of luck 🙂
+1 for strength training – I feel better and as someone else said to me you’re training for life (standing up from a chair, climbing stairs, groceries). It’s a game changer and I wish I had started sooner.
WOW! These comments are wonderful – thanks for all the tips, and of course to Abra! I have embraced my almost entirely white hair (mostly) but do add some lowlights so I don’t look SO old. Can someone please explain NAD supplements?
Hi, I mentioned NAD above with helping me with my menopausal energy levels – and as a byproduct my grey eyebrows stopped multiplying.
A NAD supplement helps boost the levels of Nicotinamide Adenine Dinucleotide (NAD+) in your body. NAD+ is a critical coenzyme found in every cell that helps convert food into energy and repairs damaged DNA. Because NAD+ levels naturally decline as you age, these supplements are used to support cellular health and promote healthy aging
I only started using NAD as a friend saw great results with it. Initially I was STILL not convinced, and asked my Doctor if I should take NAD – he said that there are no clinical studies as yet. Take it in moderation and see how it goes.
Did exactly that- I don’t even take the recommended dose, just less – and still seen results
Is there a brand you trust? I get so nervous with supplements, because when you see independent testing, a lot of brands don’t contain what they say they do and have high levels of lead.
Yes off course, but I do have to say that I’m in the UK, so not sure if the same formula is available globally, or to the USA
The brand of NAD supplements I took is Vivanmn, and was recommended to me by a friend:
https://vivanmn.com/
It took about a few months (2 months) for me to feel the energy gain, which was when I also saw the grey eyebrows slow down.
Madison Reed subscription. $75/mo and I get unlimited root touch ups. There’s a salon midway between my office and home, so every three weeks I make an appointment for my root touch up.
I am a little older than you, so I’ve already experienced much of what is listed here. I highly recommend electrolysis for those dark facial hairs…I found it to be effective and affordable!
I’ve started getting blackheads now that I’m in my early 40’s. I’ve been acne-prone my whole life but always cystic, never blackheads. I switched to Peach and Lily’s ginger oil cleanser duo and it’s been helping prevent them: https://www.peachandlily.com/collections/pl-kits/products/double-cleanse-duo?
Although if anyone can tell me how to get deeply embedded, months old blackheads out, I am all ears. I’m at the point where there’ll be there until my dermatologist appointment in the fall.
Tretenoin to help resurface the skin (need script in the US). You could also start using an exfoliating toner (aka acid toner) in the AM.
My blackheads multiplied on my nose during menopause, and I do have to get them extracted by a facial once a year.
Between facials the “ MEDICUBE
MEDICUBE ZERO PORE PAD version 2” has eliminated them – they still pop-up, but not as frequently.
Also please do NOT buy these or any beauty products from Amazon – I used to work in the beauty industry at HQ level and Amazon is the “Wild West” of unregulated stockists. Story for another day…….
Pretty sure I’m older than all of you, so here’s a few things I use:
1) Vitamin C – I love Timeless brand 20%Vitamin C + E Ferulic Acid serum. Sold on their website, Amazon and Target. Gets great reviews from Derms.
2) Sunscreen every day. I tried Lancome UV Expert Supra Screen SPF 50+ this year and love it. Great alone or under makeup. Does not dry your skin out like other sunscreens. I wear it as moisturizer AND sunscreen. Always down for combining steps.
3) Don’t forget to put sunscreen on the back of your hands when you’re in the car. Keep some form of sunscreen in the car with you. Very hard to reverse those age spots – ask me how I know!
4) Retinoid – whatever your skin can tolerate. I use Tretinoin, but it all works.
5) Sleep on your back. Side sleeper here and it took some training (and I still prefer my side), but will make a huge difference in reducing marionette lines.
I would recommend doing some research into the results of sunscreen testing in your country.
Recent studies in Australia (https://www.choice.com.au/health-and-body/beauty-and-personal-care/skin-care-and-cosmetics/articles/sunscreen-test) found many sunscreens did not match their claimed SPFs. (The Australian Government response, if anyone is interested, is here: https://www.tga.gov.au/resources/explore-topic/sunscreens/sunscreen-spf-testing-information-consumers)
Ideally, you want reports for your area, since availability of brands differ from one country to another.
My skin hates sunscreen. I get this one from Japan. It is amazing. It is the only thing that has made me a daily sunscreen user. https://www.stylevana.com/en_US/kao-biore-uv-aqua-rich-watery-essence-spf50-pa-70g27914.html
They sell a slightly different version in the US that is available at Costco and other places that is a “moisturizer” and is moderately less good. But I still use it in a pinch.
I use this same sunscreen!
The US version is not formulated the same because the FSA only just approved the ingredients that make the JP one great, and a different company has an ~18mo monopoly on it here. Skip the US version of this, get the JP!
Nivea Super Water Gel PA+++ is also good, just not quite as strong for UVA as the Biore one is.
I’ve been getting my roots touched up every 3 weeks for close to a decade (I’m 54). It’s a lot of money and time, but my hair grows fast and I hate seeing gray roots!
Re hair removal – I did electrolysis and for me it was life-changing. It’s not the right approach for peach fuzz type hair but for the coarser ones, totally worth the time investment.