Ask the Editor: Vol. VI, No. Fifteen

Our puppy is here. She is three pounds of pure love. She runs wild for thirty minutes, and then collapses onto whichever human will hold still long enough. It’s manic around here. So let’s dive into the mailbag.

DM: Which returning trend are you most surprised by?

To see Gen Z embrace the 1990s as a utopian paradise is quite surprising in and of itself, but I get it. We were both immersed in technology and free from it. It was a world before 9/11, endless wars, the pandemic, billionaire bros with Twitter accounts, wannabe billionaire bros with podcasts, $300 dresses made with nothing but polyester and greed, and tradwife content. Seems like paradise.

But if we’re talking about fashion, I’m surprised pleated khaki shorts are back. Or just khakis in general. And, honey, are they back. All of my New York City “It Girls” look like an early 90s GAP commercial. I expect them to start singing about their love for Saffron at any moment.

Don’t want to miss out on this trend? As a 44-year-old woman with 20 years of sitting under her belt, one baby, and a barely controllable addiction to chips, I recommend the BR Factory khaki pants. I bought these ones in biscuit brown and had the hem lowered to make them true ankle length. It’s how you look like you dove into the trend without getting wet.

Right behind the khakis would be anything with a low rise. You might as well put on the sign — if you’ve had a baby, don’t bother.

Hi Abra,

My workplace describes our dress code as business casual, but it’s not. I’m looking for influencers to follow who don’t wear gym clothes, shorts, minis or flip flops. Who do you follow, if anyone, who fits that mold? I am bombarded with bad advice but I can’t wear a suit or a swimsuit to work.

Sincerely, Who Gets It?

Who, besides a lifeguard, wears a swimsuit to work? This is why I’m not on TikTok.

For a casual workplace, I have a couple of suggestions. I Think It’s Brave covers business attire that is somedays pretty casual and some days more professional. I get a lot of inspiration from her. Also, Life with Jazz is pretty good at bridging the gap.

If readers have other suggestions, I think we could all benefit.

DM: Lip liner, lipstick combo?

This Makeup Forever lip pencil. I like the shade Anywhere Caffeine — it’s a rosy neutral. If you like a gloss and you need staying power, Chanel Le Rouge Duo is your pick. If you don’t mind a re-apply, I like the Victoria Beckham lipstick.

Hi Abra!

Will you do a post on what to wear to the office when you don t feel well? I am now 100% in-Office, and between migraines and a kid in day are, I am often commuting to the office on days I feel terrible (because no one gets that much sick leave). I need outfits that will get me through the day in as much comfort as possible while still looking professional.

Thanks! Taylor

Being back in office this spring was a real eye opener. I had forgotten what it was like to be in the office while on your period — like I have a headache, and back pain, and cramps, and I’m irritable, and I have to make small talk with you people while wearing a suit and REAL shoes? *middle finger* So I get it.

I have some tried and true staples we need to talk about.

First off, if you have to wear a suit under these conditions, get a Spanx business suit. No waist bands, soft fabrics, flexibility. I could climb a mountain in this suit. I have it in black. It came out in white, and I didn’t buy it. I have regrets.

Second, you need a pair of office slippers. I know, it sounds insane. 2008 Abra would never. NEVER. But 2026 Abra has lived through two recessions, a global pandemic, nearly dying in childbirth, and perimenopause, so 2008 Abra can shut it. But a pair of Rothy’s clogs or Ugg slippers just bring a level of happiness and comfort while sitting at your desk.

Third, you need a dress that doesn’t bind you. Something with a flare or an a-line. Something in a ponte or a knit. Something that understands that you need to wear clothes and don’t want them to touch you. I own this Boden one, in two colors. People say nice things about this one from Quince.

Finally, you need a trouser that loves you back. I mean a pair of pants that causes no emotional damage. And I know that I talk about Spanx a lot, but for a brand that caused me so much pain in my 20s, they have really come through for me in my 40s. These are the pants I love. They have belt loops so everyone will think they are real pants. But they are gussied up sweat pants.

Abra,

My best friend was just diagnosed with cancer. She lives alone, in a different city. I want to help. I don’t know how. I thought you or your readers might be able to help.

Sincerely, Louise

Several years ago, I had a friend with a serious illness who lived alone in the Seattle area, and it was a struggle to try to help her. Very often she had no way to get to appointments or pickup medications or get groceries She was alone often, which was very hard on her and us. So a few of us got together and paid a college student to come to her house for a few hours per week. The young woman needed a flexible gig during the day because she had class at night. We paid $22 an hour, plus gas. It would have been too expensive for any one of us to pay for on our own, but with six of us, it was an easier lift.

We found the woman on Care.com. The friend who did the bulk of the searching looked for experienced sitters who had transportation and advertised other services like meal planning and errand running, so she wasn’t messaging someone who just wanted to watch kids.

If anyone has other suggestions, I am all ears because I think a lot of us have friends and relatives who live alone who need help. Leave your thoughts in the comments.

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