The Jumble: May 26, 2026

My birthday is Friday. I will be 44.

When I was a teenager, my Mom and I were having an argument about something unimportant, and it led to a discussion about aging. She was likely the very age I am now, and when I told her that she was too old to understand, she replied, “Well, I don’t feel any different on the inside [than I did when I was younger].”

I thought that was the dumbest thing I had ever heard. How could you live for four decades and feel the same age on the inside that you did when you were a teenager? Of course, you would feel different.

Despite my total certainty that she was full of s**t, you’ll be unsurprised to learn that 16 year olds don’t know everything. Today, I feel mostly the same on the inside as I did that day.

Aging is funny like that. You spend so much time being one of the youngest in the room that you don’t always notice when that status is slipping away from you.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that the actors, athletes, and broadcasters on television are all younger than I am. That my daughter’s teachers are younger than I am. That the other mothers in my Mom group are younger than I am. That most of my coworkers, the attorneys where I volunteer, and even some of the elected officials I work for are younger than I am too. Just about the only place where I feel young is at church, where I am easily the youngest adult in the room.

That I am older than many of the people around me has become an especially important thing to remember when I’m scrolling Instagram. So many of the influencers peddling cosmetic treatments, miracle skin cures, workouts that will change your life, and new fashion trends are 30-ish. An age that feels like it was yesterday, but was also a million years, five careers, two cities, and a family ago.

Of course, I remember 30. My metabolism was still humming. Perimenopause hadn’t come for my hair, skin, waistline or brain yet. I didn’t have a toddler to chase. I hadn’t spent the previous decade sitting in uncomfortable chairs, eating fewer vegetables than I should, or skipping workouts. I hadn’t lived through a pandemic, two Trump administrations, war with Iran, and the unleashing of AI. And I also hadn’t almost died bringing my daughter into the world, an experience that often feels more like the discovery of gravity than a life event.

At 30, I too believed that I was one workout, one skin cream, one protein shake, or one new notebook away from being my best self. Optimization was just around the corner.

At 44, I am just trying to get from wake up to bed time in one piece. Maybe I do some work that I’m proud of, eat a few fruits and vegetables, hug my child a bunch, and get 30 minutes of real enjoyment from living. That would be a great day.

I do feel mostly the same on the inside, but I feel her underneath all of it. Under the hormones that skitter around like atoms in a centrifuge. Under the grief. Under the tumult. Under the uncertainty. Under the life the choices I made, and the choices I didn’t. Some days I wish I could take it all off, like a heavy pack dropped at the end of a long hike. But that isn’t how life works. The best you can do is learn to see the weight of living as a gift — one denied to many — and not as a burden.

So here’s to 44. May she be glorious.

+ This is why you’re drowning in busy work. (NY Times, gift link)

+ Rothy’s is having a Friends & Family sale. I decided to try these sandals.

+ “How I learned to love solo travel.” (Conde Nast Traveler)

+ This striped romper is perfect for Sloane. I bought my nephews striped cool hoodies.

+ Workers who do a “Sunday Reset” earn more money. (Fast Company)

+ Half-Yearly is here. My favorite bra made the sale, so did these $49 linen pants.

+ Men aren’t “needed,” and they’re struggling to adapt to being wanted. (Substack)

+ I bought Kyle this shirt and Sloane a matching dress for Father’s Day.

+ This Lemon Arugula pasta salad is a great summer lunch or side dish. (Pinterest)

+ These grey denim shorts are comfortable, and so ugly they cross over into cool.

+ Looking for a job? Freeze your Equifax “work number.” (Instagram video)

+ Obsessed with this striped makeup bag for summer.

+ A long, exhaustive search to find the best TV show for kids. (WaPo, gift link)

+ Trying this Peter Thomas Roth wrinkle tape tonight. Will report back.

+ Women are “quiet quitting” their marriages rather than divorcing. (The Cut)

+ Prepping for the 2027 Legislative Session with this awesome notebook with dividers.

+ A thought provoking article about changing how we fund international aid. (The Guardian)

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