Being a Mom is such a niche business. Some Moms work outside the home, some Moms work at home. Some have flexibility, some don’t. Some are new in career, some aren’t. Some have toddlers, some have teenagers. And with so much stratification, it’s important to find a group of Moms that you can relate to.
One of the things that happened when I had a baby at 40, while living outside of a major city, and made partner in a law firm shortly after, is that I lost most of my local peers. And truly, at this juncture of my life, I’m not sure I’ve ever needed a community of similarly situated women more. Enter: Instagram.
While the Meta beast can sometimes be a terrifying thing to tame, my algorithm did me a solid by providing so many examples of women in their 30s and 40s, with young kids, who have professional 9-to-5 jobs that don’t offer a lot of flexibility. Thanks to following these accounts, I feel less alone than I did when Sloane was younger. At least there is someone I can interact with (even if it is just by DM) who understands the contours of this niche of Mom life in a way that not every Mom does, just like I don’t know a damn thing about raising teenagers, or staying-at-home, or working three tens, or having multiple kids, or having a child with special needs.
So here are the ladies who influence me to stay out of the Mom guilt zone and occasionally provide an activity, toy, or meal recommendation that seems to fit into my life.
Bailey @busymomfindstime // Also an attorney, young partner with toddler daughters. Just as nice in person as she is online, and frankly gives me so much comfort with her Tuesday Talks series and Zoom discussions. Makes lots of great recommendations for easy clothes, activities that you think you can actually accomplish in the post-work hours, and is just a calming voice on an Internet usually overwhelmed with din.
Catherine @_thecabro // Tech Mom with two young kids, who just switched jobs to a new-ish startup. That relaxed Seattle style where slacks and a sweater looks fancy. Good ideas for spending time with kids, good recommendations for bath time and meals. Good AMAs. Just started hosting in person events and some Zoom events.
Alice @byalicesigh // A corporate attorney with a bit more flexibility than my gig, but a realistic look at what the next phase of my life with an elementary school aged child looks like. Shows you how she does it or what she uses without making you feel like she’s doing the deep sell.
Do you have a Mom you follow online? Leave their handle in the comments.
mixandmatchmama.com
Shay Shull. She is remarkable
Is it weird that this almost brought a tear to my eye? I’ve been feeling very unmoored as I return to work after #2, now full-time in office with very little flexibility. It seems like for every piece of relatable mom content I click on, the algorithm serves me thirty posts of 28-year-old trad wives with five kids and beautiful homes that make me feel crappy about my almost 40-year-old daycare using self. I’ll definitely be giving these a follow, especially Catherine as a fellow Seattleite!
Start a WhatsApp group for neighborhood moms. Every time you meet a local mom at a playground ask them, “Are you on the neighborhood moms Whatsapp group?” and add them. They dont need to know you started it. Before you know it, you’ll have people to ask questions about local kids things and a community.
We have one, though it kind of died last year. One of my neighbors is trying to bring it back. It’s tough though. A lot of the moms in my neighborhood are stay-at-home moms or work part time to supplement their income but aren’t really “career-focused.”
Love all of these recommendations!