My life is so weird right now.
We threw my parents a joint 70th birthday party last weekend, and while it was just so great to have all of their friends in one place, the trip was exhausting. Then, we got back and Sloane was almost immediately down with Influenza A.
Sloane emerged from illness into the full glory of being two years old. Her favorite phrase is now, “No think so.” Hobbies including throwing food, ripping books, and reenacting Greek tragedies on the floor when we tell her it’s time for dinner. We tried to adopt her out to my brother, but he demanded a clothing stipend and a berry budget, and frankly it’s just cheaper to keep her and by Bose headphones.
Because Sloane was sick last week (and I was popping Tamiflu like they were TicTacs), I am behind at work. Not a lot, but an amount that has to get rectified before the end of the month. So I spend my nights doing billables and not writing this blog, which I was really enjoying at the start of the month. And that is thing that no one tells you about “having it all,” that carrying all the sh*t you love gets really heavy. Thus, when something needs to be added (like cuddling a sick kiddo and disinfecting the house hourly), something needs to be put down to make room.
The reality is that this blog a rubber ball, while my full-time job is a glass one, so only one can bounce when dropped.
Add it into that the 384 times per day that I scream “THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS!” at the talking heads on the TV or at the news headlines on my phone, and the horrors persist. And I say that as a dedicated libertarian who is incredibly fearful of state power and who wants to see the government cut spending by 18-20% (but with a scalpel, not a wrecking ball because the synapses in my brain fire properly).
But since we’re here and I have a few minutes, can I share some things I have been loving lately?
I bought this Patrick Ta brush after seeing Bethenny Frankel use it, and it is sublime. The fluffiness, the angle. When you use it with cream contour or bronzer, it gives you the most amazing sculpted cheek bones. Yes, it’s spendy, but I’ll have it for years. I use it for this drugstore bronzer.
I skipped my Valentine’s Day lingerie post this year because I wasn’t feeling it. But a reader DM’ed me and asked for a last minute recommendation. This is one of my favorite pieces. It’s very sexy, but also easy to wear. I’m in the medium as an 8, large probably goes to a 12. If you need a wider size range, this one looks really nice too.
These are still my favorite jeans.
We start potty training next week. Sloane is ready. I am not. Kyle is definitely not. But our nanny recommended one of these watches to remind her to go potty, and hopefully, my gadget loving kid will take to it.
This is still my favorite bra.
I’m also eating a lot of miso-butter sweet potatoes right now, and just finished this bonkers true crime podcast.
If you’ve been loving something lately, please leave it in the comments.
I don’t have kids and don’t plan to, but am super wowed by the extra value your nanny adds through recs like that watch! It never would have occurred to me that they’d give guidance like that, but I love that for you.
Hang in there.
Ours used to work at a preschool, so she has lots of helpful suggestions.
Three things I’ve been loving:
1. The writing of R. F. Kuang. I loved Yellowface (I’m a white lady in the DC area, it hit uncomfortably close) and kept reading. Her Poppy Wars trilogy was the first fantasy series I ever read all the way through.
2. Discovering the ankle length pants at Costco fit my 5’2 post-baby body perfectly. I’ve never been a pants person but I realize it was because I’d never found pants that just fit easily.
3. The joy our almost 9 month old takes in food now that he has tiny teeth. He’s discovering taking actual bites of things and it’s hilarious. I didn’t realize how fun it would be to watch a baby tear into a frozen waffle like a honey badger
potty training was actually not the nightmare i imagined! it was weirdly fun to see my daughter figure it out. and while she filibustered, she would chit chat with me sitting on her baby potty. it was weirdly pleasant. have no fear
Camp Counselors Podcast. I find Zachariah and Jonathan to be very witty and the humor I’m craving.
Donuts.
May the force be with you on the potty training. I suck at it, with both kids and animals. But the one kid who was the easiest to train was very motivated by spiderman underwear.
I’m loving spending time with our granddaughters! The seven-year-old is a talented artist currently obsessed with Van Gogh. I learned about him when I was in grade school in France, where the pronunciation of his name is sort of “Van Gug.” This has resulted in *many* English language pronunciation lessons from a first-grader intent on improving her grandmother. I also now have personalized iterations of Starry Night all over our home. I bought picture frames that open like books so the art can be routinely swapped out because I am now the curator of an exclusive small private art museum.
The nine-year-old adds four-digit numbers in her head with deadly speed and accuracy, and my calculator and I provide no competition. She’s currently trying out early-onset moody teenagerhood, which is mostly characterized by slamming doors, tears, backrubs, hugs, and recovery mugs of hot chocolate. Our children were boys, so this experience with dramatic mood swing girl stuff is both familiar, based on my recollection of my teen years, and strange, as viewed from the perspective of a grandmother.
My son, the girls’ father, has offered to loan them to us until they turn 21, but like you, Abra, we would be ruined financially trying to keep them in raspberries and Runamok syrup (the latter of which is my own fault because I’m the one who keeps putting it in the girls’ Christmas stockings).
Your granddaughters sound amazing! As the mom of two boys (just 2 and 5 months right now) and aunt of two nieces entering their preteen years, I wonder how my experience is going to be the same, different, totally unique to these humans…
Hope Sloane takes to potty training like a duck to water! Hang in there. It wont always be like this…
My loves lately:
~Rediscovered Coach bag in red leather, in my closet!
~podcasts: Tell Me What Happened, Dirt In My Shoes, Ear Hustle, Proof
~books: Rebecca Yarros fantasy trilogy
~Thred up
I cannot get enough of the Empyrean.
– the art subscription on the frame TV. Having access to tons of art is so soothing to me.
– buying local art. I won a piece at a charity auction and am so excited to put it in my home office where it will be visible on conf calls. Its base is a cheery yellow.
– the Anthony Lent bone bar necklace I finally splurged on after many years of lusting after it. I only take it off to sleep, workout, and shower.
– my sweet old dog. I had to put my other dog down a month ago unexpectedly, so I am cherishing time with my remaining dog
– getting back into running and signing up for running and cycling events to look forward to this year
Did you know you can upload your own art?
I didn’t!!!
Things I’m loving
1. I fell for InnBeauty Project Extreme Cream. Emptied my Black Friday purchase and bought the refill this week. My GenX skin loves it and it works well with makeup.
2. The Jones Road purple gel eyeliner recommendation from the other week – thank you!
Loving: Heated blankets on the couch and bed help the winter go down easier. Affogatos when the mood strikes. Moon Lists (substack) journaling prompts, Austin Kleon’s substack and instagram posts ( love his blackout poems and laid back aire), Orange red lipstick (Laura Mercier Stick in Fire), Ben Abraham music.
Started an infant supply closet at the hospital I work in so low income moms can take home what they need without worry. Some women in other departments have chipped in to support the effort. Its been great having something tangible to focus on in this devastating time.
Happy to donate to the infant supply closet if you have a way to accept donations!
Dr. Becky Kennedy and her book/podcast Good Inside. She is an insightful resource in the world of modern parenting and encourages mom’s – in particular – to give themselves grace in the toughest of times.
Been loving Poshmark lately- hunting for pieces that are still in great shape but would otherwise be out of my price range has replaced some of my doomscrolling.
Alongside that, app timers and email newsletters have been saving me. I have half an hour per social media app per day, after that it locks down. I’m extremely proud of myself whenever I end the day with time left! For news, I subscribed to a few daily and weekly newsletters where I get articles and other links from people who I enjoy following and orgs whose reporting I trust.
I’m loving Poshmark too. I’ve gotten some great Veronica Beard blazers recently.
Take the time you need. Needs will change and so will your time allocation. We will be here for you!
I am with you! Both my kids had the flu and were out of school last week which was capped off by snow cancelling school as soon as they were recovered. Oh, and my husband was gone on a business trip.
Good luck with potty training!
Loving my escapism fantasy novels, my heated blanket, applying daily makeup and perfume. Also Cobra Kai on Netflix, surprisingly. I laugh more watching this series than I thought I would. And I need to laugh these days. I also need to feel pretty! Cue makeup and perfume.
Two year olds are absolutely bonkers but also so much fun. Their personalities come out swinging. Good luck on the potty training, you’ll all do great!
Thanks for sharing your life updates, always a pleasure to hear your thoughts. Take care of yourself xx
Hang in there! Sending hope and healing vibes.
Lately loving anything by Sarah J Maas, the podcast Diabolical Lies, and Patagonia’s Worn Wear resale program.
Gosh. After a week of snow days and sick days I feel this. Trying to find the gratefulness to snuggle a sick baby instead of the anxiety to be getting behind at work.
Loving: the word game squares.org – it’s more time and brain intensive than a lot of the other word games like Wordle or Connections, and I appreciate that it can truly be engaging enough to be a distraction. AND my Brick app blocker – it’s a physical tile that you tap to lock you out of certain apps (for me, social media and work Outlook) and then have to physically tap again to unlock. It’s way more effective than anything else I’ve tried to disconnect and be more present.
Happy weekend eve, everybody.
The host of the podcast you linked to, Sam Mullins, did another podcast called “Wild Boys” that was also bonkers – a fascinating story – I highly recommend it!
You can definitely have it all, but it’s exhausting. Thanks for giving this blog whatever time you have for as long as you enjoy it. We love reading it and I’d guess most of your readers totally get it when you need to be away. I appreciate you even more in the wake of Return to Office (RTO). Most bloggers think work wear always includes jeans now. That still doesn’t fly in Washington DC at least not in Government offices. I thought maybe RTO would be more casual since we’ve been working remotely or hybrid for several years now. I’ve not found that to be true. RTO has been a welcome reason to literally dust off more of my work wardrobe and I find your blog, even older articles, to be a great source of style inspiration appropriate for the DC office. Now I’m off to coordinate child and dog care so I can RTO!
The Gleanser you recommended awhile ago continues to amaze and I’m not on the whole prequel line. My skin has never consistently looked better. Impress no-glue press on nails (I use the short ones) are INCREDIBLE. They last for well over a week, easily. I bought a battery-powered handheld frother on Amazon (whatever the highest rated one was) and switching up my morning coffee with matcha green tea lattes. It’s luxurious, truly. I hate it when drinks aren’t mixed well and it makes any kind of powder, protein powder whatever, siiillllkkky smooth. I also got into the Vital Proteins collagen that I add to my morning drinks. Since I’ve been using for the last month or my gums finally stopped bleeding when I floss. Take that non-medical opinion for what it’s worth. It’s the little things.
Buying secondhand clothes that fit my body.
The cookbook Salt Fat Acid Heat.
Reading on my kindle before bed – finally reading The Nightingale.
Re: potty training. Tried at 2.5 and gave up. I hated the oh crap book. Waited until 3.5 and it was done easily in a day. My twins are 2.5 and showing mild interest…I’m going to wait it out a bit longer!
Thank you so much for your honest views on politics (fellow Libertarian here who is consistently frustrated with both parties, for different reasons). Thank you also for candidly sharing how hard it is to be a working mother and wife! I am so sick of social media making it look like being a mom is an endless parade of perfectly coiffed hair, designer clothes, and soft-lit cuddles with angelic toddlers.
Things I’m loving;
Kizik tennis shoes (they REALLY are slip on, even if you have a high instep, and so comfy for all-day wear)
The Prequel vitamin C serum you recommended (thank you!)
Being honest with myself about how much crap I carry in my daily handbag – yes, I really do need to bring dental floss with me everywhere I go and I’m at peace with that.
Window shopping (online) for a new work bag.
You are doing great! Give your time where it is most needed and we will be here when you can focus more on the blog again.
Re: potty training… as a preschool teacher of older 2s, I applaud you for not waiting. Between potty training my own two personal children and many children at school, I can tell you it’s not as bad as you think it will be, especially if you have assistance during the day, and that the longer you wait, the harder it actually is for most children. Don’t listen to the idea of it being a 3-day process. That’s a defeating marketing ploy. Use the timer (for some kids, it’s easier for them to take the annoying direction of constant potty attempts from the timer beeping than from parents). Yes, there will be accidents – just tell her they happen and to try again, and rest assured they will start to become fewer after the first few days. Don’t use pull ups during the day – those are fancy diapers and don’t help children recognize the feeling of wetness. Celebrate and make a big deal of her successes! Use rewards (obviously for Sloane but also for you and Kyle!) if you need to. You can do this!!! A potty trained child is a WONDERFUL thing!
Things I’m currently loving: Making carajillos. Watching eye makeup tutorials. Going to see live music, or just plotting out what bands to go see in the coming months.