On Saturday, I was scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, when I came across another influencer doing a try on video. In clip after clip, she tried on $695 boots and $425 sweaters. $595 blazers came in and out of frame. In some clips, the massive pile of bags, boxes and clothes filling one corner of her large bedroom were visible. There were dozens of pieces just cast about.
I felt physically ill.
You see, for the better part of three months, I’ve been thinking about the future of this blog, and one of the things I keep thinking about is how much giving fashion advice on the Internet has changed. When I started, thoughtful, curated suggestions were the norm because those of us giving advice online were mostly buying our own clothing, makeup and accessories. But as gifting and sponsorships and brand partnerships proliferated, things changed.
Once Instagram created Stories and Reels, the constant churn of content took over. Consumerism became the clarion call. They must sell, and you must buy. No part of your life may remain untouched. Decant your milk into glass jugs. Snag this Lululemon dupe. In fact, snag three. Don’t miss this holiday decor from Walmart, but never question whether the influencer who drives a Rivian SUV shops at Walmart. Of course she does, they pay her to.
So as I start putting together my own wishlist for fall, it doesn’t look like a $10,000 Shopbop shopping spree, or every.single.piece of clothing La Ligne is willing to gift me, or a Zara haul so big it takes three shipments. It looks like pieces I’ve been thinking about buying for weeks (often waiting for a sale). Pieces I will really use, wear, and love for longer than the length of my content calendar. I think you will love them too.
01. A Pave Pinky Signet Ring. I spotted this Cupcakes & Cashmere signet pinky ring in a Facebook ad and then couldn’t stop thinking about it. Shiny, pretty, sparkling like a diamond in the rough. It’s a great alternative option for a right hand ring. If pinky rings are not your thing, this enamel signet ring and this narrower ring from Brook & York also caught my eye.
02. A Chocolate Brown Cardigan. This Ann Taylor Boyfriend cardigan has been on my shopping list for weeks. And now that it is 30% off it will finally be mine. I love the length, the color, and the sleek but slightly oversized feel. Come back tomorrow to see how I plan to style it.
03. A Bold Wrap Dress. No other influencer sells me more pieces than Anh. No one. Had I seen this Farm Rio wrap dress in the store, I would have taken one look at this print and thought it wasn’t for me. But when I saw it on Anh, I truly saw it.
I saw how perfect it would be for a conference. Black blazer and boots for daytime, heels and big earrings for evening. Of course, I’ll need to add a belt (probably this one). But this print is a statement, and I intend to make it.
04. A Crescent Bag. My life is no longer the life of a daily commuter who needs to carry a large bag full of essentials. Things are more minimal now. So a small Madewell crescent bag feels like a chic way to update my crossbody for fall. This sun-faded indigo color is nice, but there are other lovely shades as well. If you need a larger size, many influencers are carrying this one.
05. A Velvet Mary Jane. Textures are big for fall. Suede is the most talked about, but for my money, I like velvet. Soft and feminine, but still perfect for fall/winter.
If you haven’t tried Birdie’s, they are so comfortable. I have the loafers and I love them. So these velvet Mary Janes in deep green seem like the obvious pick. Need a more affordable pair? This Sam Edelman pair is worth a look. Not sure how to care for velvet shoes? Here are some tips, and the Scotchguard spray you need.
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Abra, I really respect this. As we learn more about modern slavery and the need for circular economies, this is such a good take.
As always, I appreciate your thoughtfulness as you move this blog forward.
I appreciate your thoughtful purchases! The fast fashion try-ons give me the ick too — are they actually keeping any of these items, and how many of them? How much is enough? How long do the clothes last?
And this post is just another example of why I love your blog and still follow all these years later.
I will warn you that the Farm Rio dress doesn’t actually wrap or close. If anything, size up twice to make it a true wrap. You can see it on Anh the way it kind of opens. There is not enough fabric at the chest. So disappointing!
Abra – I’m a long, long time reader but very sporadic commenter. This post is a good example of why yours is only one of three blogs I still read on a daily basis, and why I find myself unfollowing so many influencers on Instagram shortly after “discovering” them. Thank you for always keeping it real.
I appreciate your type of content and think of it as conceirge shopping. I used to like shopping in person, but now really don’t have time. Online shopping has become overwhelming and I don’t like the endless scrolling. I don’t want to watch an influence talk about nothing for 30 seconds to hit a time-viewed target before getting to the point. I don’t want to go to a bio to go to a link to be redirected to LTK to be asked if I want to open in the app, to find the post, to click through to store’s website to find out that the item is $500 or they are sold out of every reasonable color in my size. I don’t want to buy my work clothes at Walmart and I don’t want an $800 sequin dress. I question “work clothes” from an influencer who does not work in a real office. I appreciate someone my age who is highly knowledgeable about the dress requirements of my specific profession, with the same quality/washability/versatility standards. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate just seeing the clothes and the shoes and the links in one place that never moves around so I can just buy a coordinated outfit in one place.
100% this and concierge shopping is a perfect analogy.
The content here is thoughtful, organized and grounded in reality.
Spot on!! This is why I read your blog religiously.
Diane, I could not agree with you more! Very nicely said!!
+1
I’ve been reading this blog for years…over a decade and at this point. I rarely comment but I am devoted! It is the only fashion blog (substack/instagram etc.) that I wholeheartedly trust. Please know how valued you are.
Thank you for this post! I struggle with similar questions (resisting consumerism vs the need to look and feel good about myself etc). I very much appreciate your thoughtful approach. Your blog is the only one now that somehow fits my reality and inspires me. Thank you!
You are the GOAT to me. This is why.
Hi Abra,
I’ve followed you for a long time. Thanks always for your honesty! Love your recommendations and reviews. Sometimes I just want to see something pretty and you always come through. God bless you and your family.
I love your thoughtful list!
Your content and honesty is why I keep coming back and subscribe to your See You Next Tuesday. I don’t buy much, so I figure my subscription fee is how I can support your work. Love your blog and newsletter
I have arthritis in my big toe and need super firm shoes where there is no bend in the toe box. Are the Rothy’s firm or squishy?
Also when you feature shoes, can you indicate if they come in wides? I have narrow heels and wide toes and often need wides in shoes. Thanks!
I have arthritis in my big toe and need super firm shoes where there is no bend in the toe box. Are the Rothy’s firm or squishy?
Also when you feature shoes, can you indicate if they come in wides? I have narrow heels and wide toes and often need wides in shoes. Thanks!
The points are medium, the loafers and other styles are flexible. If you want a cheaper brand, I think it’s called Vivia.
Thanks, the Vivia shoes are all flexible too. I’ve asked them. It’s a shame because they’re supposed to be otherwise good for problem feed. Barkingdogshoes.com is my go to site for advice on the best shoes for problem feet. I get excited by bloggers about shoes only to find they don’t come in my size or would kill my feet. Thanks for all you do.
Not a lot of movement in the points, so you might try those, but the others are squishier. Have you thought about Birdie’s, much more solid in the toe box, every comfortable.
Chiming in to agree that this blog stands out for being remarkably consistent with practical, wearable, fashionable recommendations. I started reading when I was an intern and even the “front desk” items were out of my budget. Back then, I used the content as an educational tool so that when I spent my very limited funds on a triple-discounted final sale item or a rare thrift store find, I knew what was worth buying and how to get the most out of styling it.
Now, I can afford to buy things featured on this blog, and from other influencers. You are the only one who has never let me down. Every time I have bought something on your recommendation, it has stood up to your review. From the Tony Moly mask and OPI glass nail file to leopard flats, Anniversary Sale blouses, and MMLF cardigans, every single item has fit exactly where it needed to go in my wardrobe and routine. Nothing has ended up in the donation bin 6 months later or made me regret spending the money, which is not the case for other influencer “must-haves” I’ve bought.
Thank you for staying true to this standard over the past 16 years. It’s why I come here every single day and why I’ll keep coming back as long as you’re around.
As much as I like these items, I LOVE your take on purchasing and transparency. Thank you
Echoing these wonderful comments about how your blog strikes the perfect balance that seems to be resonant with so many of us. Thank you for your excellent, consistent work (and sharing your BEAUTIFUL taste and great outfit-making ideas) over the years!
There’s a reason why when I buy things I’ve seen online it’s something you or TIBAL posted — it is your actual money! For your actual life! Thank you for being a bright beam of reality…and reliability.
Another reason your blog is the one I have recommended countless times. Also THAT WRAP DRESS IS DIVINE.
Just another quick note of appreciation – like many other commenters, I’ve followed quietly for a long time. The landscape is so different now and resisting the constant barrage of ‘buy now!’ is difficult even as I understand that it’s highly likely that most recommendations have been bought. Thanks for staying authentic!