My hair has been on a roller coaster ride for the past four years. The grey hairs that were once just a patch have become a head-covering brush fire. Post-partum regrowth continues to cover my head in small uneven patches, even as I buy party favors for my daughter’s second birthday. Perimenopause is slowly changing my hair’s thickness and texture. And frankly, even I, a woman who will likely be buried in her rollers, am starting to think about doing the full Demi.
So how am I caring for my hair in my 40s? With the right routine and the right products.
Don’t Wash Every Day (even with dry shampoo). I was a notorious every day hair washer. My fine hair simply couldn’t take multiple days without a wash. And if I missed a wash because of a busy morning, I was quick to reach for the dry shampoo (this one is my favorite). Now, I skip washes and don’t replace them with dry shampoo because my scalp also needs a break.
Instead, I have mastered a couple of easy updos. From my Mom Bun to the easy low chignon that has been on the menu for years. Instead of shampooing (dry or wet), I grab the bobby pins and the seamless elastics and give my hair and scalp a break.
01. Scalp Serum. I mentioned above that my scalp needs a break. One of the things I’ve noticed as I’ve aged is that my scalp is significantly drier and more sensitive. If I have an extended run of washing or overuse the dry shampoo, my scalp hurts. It’s delightful. Luckily, this affordable serum from The Ordinary helps keep it from becoming irritated and itchy.
02. A Gentle Brush. My hair is more breakage prone and drier. It’s also frizzy occasionally, which is a new thing for me. This paddle brush from Aveda is gentle on hair and scalp, lessening breakage and irritation. For something a bit cheaper, try this Crave brush is good on adults and kids.
Looking After My Health. When was the last time you had a blood test? As we age, changes in our hormone levels impact our skin and hair, plus everything else in our lives. I took this article with me to my doctor to ask for more comprehensive testing at my last physical. Since we have an established relationship, I had no trouble getting the testing I wanted, not all women are so lucky. I’m still waiting on all of the results, but I hope this round of tests gives me some more insight into the changes in my body.
03. Growth Treatments. Yes, you should be using Minoxidil to regrow hair. I don’t know why those of us who grew up in the 80s and 90s see such a stigma in using Rogaine, but every dermatologist I follow on Instagram is using it. Also, pro-tip: Women’s Rogaine Foam is $21 an ounce, Men’s Rogaine Foam is $8 an ounce. Welcome to the Pink Tax. The two products are identical except for the word ‘women’ on the box. Don’t be fooled, buy the men’s product. Better yet, buy it at Costco.
04. The K18 Pair. Twice a week, I wash my hair with this Detox shampoo. It’s non-stripping and safe for color, but cleans off every speck of oil, dirt, and product. Every wash, I use this K18 Treatment to keep my hair strong and soft. Even if I use other conditioner, I still apply it to my middle-ends. I love both products, and if you’re new to them, you can buy smaller sizes in this kit to try them.
Eat Right, Take Vitamins. Eating vegetables and fruits at every meal shouldn’t be a challenge, but it often is. I have to remember to roast broccoli or wilt spinach or add carrots to meatballs. Anything to toss a few extra veggies into my meal. Eating fruit is easier, I just save myself a serving of whatever berries, peaches or melon Sloane is eating. I’ve also gone back to taking a vitamin every day, though I’m still searching for one I like. (So if you have recommendations, throw them in the comments.) And I’ve been following the recent guidance to take iron supplements every other day instead of every day. I like this one that has Vitamin-C built in.
05. Color Care. Yes, I color my hair. No, I am not ready to go grey. Will I ever be? Maybe not. For now, I get my color done every 30 days. On the dot. No misses. Save my chair spot, Nichole. In between, I gloss my hair with this color-depositing conditioner to keep it looking fresh. And if my roots do start to peek out, I banish them back to the great beyond with this root spray. However, the drugstore L’Oreal spray is almostasgood for less.
So how are you caring for your hair as you age? Leave your thoughts in the comments.
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Would the hair gloss work to just tone down grays? I’ve never dyed and want to hold off as long as possible, but the grays are becoming more and more pronounced. I don’t necessarily want to totally cover them, but just make them less noticeable.
I have only one brand of a color glossing conditioner but not sure it makes any difference on grays. Or at all on my hair, though maybe I didn’t use enough. Also worried about staining my tub — noticed a stain that thankfully came off — but am nervous about using the product again. Seemed to affect the tub more than my hair.
Your experience might vary, of course.
Makes no difference on greys. It’s for the rest of the hair.
I can’t speak to glosses here but as someone who’s dyed my own hair for 15 years (I buy salon-grade products from Sally’s), you may want to try a demi/semi-permanent color. I find that with even perm color, I need to add ‘Gray Magic’ to get the color to really penetrate the silvers/greys. All to say, a demi/semi may be worth trying as it will give you more coverage than not but it also won’t be a forever commitment.
I love the Aveda brush and have had mine for years. I’m interested in a water filter for my shower to see if it helps my hair. In DC, where I live, my hair is always drier and frizzier than in NYC, where I spend a lot of time. Maybe more chlorine in the water in DC.
Jill, try a hard water shampoo. My hair in DC was never as great as in some other places, but it got really bad when I moved to a new building in Tacoma Park – dry, frizzy, always felt dirty. After using a hard water shampoo (the first time I let it sit for a few minutes, otherwise just used as normal), all of a sudden it was back to being shiny, soft, and manageable. I used this one: https://www.amazon.com/Hard-Water-Shampoo-10-5-ounce/dp/B01BO3UCTU?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=AQT18OUQ0NDU8, but I know there are others.
Thank you so much, Anna!!
Definitely on minoxidil train thanks to peri menopause and past thyroid cancer treatment. I do ok with the drops, I struggle with the foam particularly where I don’t wash my hair everyday. Not sure how best to apply it!
I have had great success with Hue in the past but now that I have highlights I’m not sure how to color-match. Folks with experience here – have you matched to your base color, or to highlights? Or would you advise using at all with highlights?
I really like the Binto vitamins and the fact that it is so woman (and more importantly, woman fertility and hormones) focused. And thank you for inspiring me to look into Rogaine!
My hair had deteriorated to the point that my stylist refused to continue to color it. She recommended Loma shampoo/conditioner and weekly K18 treatments. Within 3 months my hair completely recovered and is better than ever.
If you use topical Rogaine, beware that it adversely affects any color you may have applied to your hair and any keratin treatments you may have had done to your hair. This is apparently because it includes alcohol.
I’d love to know more about rogaine, people’s experiences, best way to use it, etc. I have shoulder length, highlighted hair. It’s always been on the thinner side, but as I age I feel like I’m seeing a lot more hair in my brush and shower.
Anna, thank you for the tip on hard water. I moved to MD from IL two years ago and my hair started acting up after that. Oil treatments have helped a bit but it never feels as soft and manageable as it did it IL. Switching to the hard water shampoo stat!
I would love to hear about blow dryer recs!
I like the Hot Tools brands for dryers, but I usually go for low wattage as I don’t like the noise and high fan speeds. Try to find a lower wattage but not in travel or mini size is best.
The nutrafol supplement is a GAME CHANGER. You’ll see hair growth within 30 days. I’ve been doing it for a year now and I’ll never stop.
I got a microfiber hair towel/turban – I think on recommendation from this blog? – and it seems to have made a good difference. I’ll put it on right after I get out of the shower – squeezing water out, not towel-drying – and leave it on while I lotion/makeup/get dressed. It does seem to cut down the amount of time and heat it takes to blow dry at the end, and my hair does seem happier and healthier.