Abra,

Can you talk more about being a Mom?  I was so excited when you had a baby, because I have two kids and I was hoping you would bring the CHS energy to motherhood.  I’m a little sad you don’t talk about Sloane more, being a Mom more, or even just tips for taking care of kids (cuz I’m sure you have them).  

Would you be willing to shift your content?  It’s really exciting when you share things to Instagram.  That pouch holder you shared has become my favorite thing to give toddler-moms. Would you be willing to shift your content?

Anny F.

That fruit pouch holder is a game changer.  I’m glad you found it useful.

First, let me say that the reason I don’t share more is that women are stupid hard on Moms.  Many of my friends in the influencing world have integrated their children into their content, because their little ones are a huge part of their lives, and their influencing is about their lives.  The worst trolls and the most vicious criticism they receive is related to their mothering decisions, even dumb stuff like which fruit snacks they buy can generate shocking levels of aggression.  The hate is just so heavy.

Having Sloane was a three-year project.  IVF, pregnancy, post-pregnancy complications, deciding not to breast feed, choosing to give Sloane “less,” and other decisions I made and situations that happened are so unbelievably personal.  And, I’ll be stupid honest, I don’t want anyone else’s thoughts or criticisms making mothering any harder than it already is.

I have a small group of close friends and relatives who know their s**t about mothering, and when I need advice I go to them.  When, they can’t help, I’ll throw a question up on my Instagram channel, and my regular readers have saved me bacon a few times. (For which I am so grateful, that Magic Merlin suit came from God on a rainbow.) So I know that there are also positive, valuable interactions to be had.  But I have my fair share of “haters” and when I post something about Mom-life, they tend to show up.  And frankly, there’s no need to invite criticism about something so deeply personal and important to me.

Plus, while I occasionally post a photo or video to social media about Sloane, as she has aged, I’ve been doing it less and less.  She has a right to privacy, and we’ve learned a lot about how the first generation of influencer kids may have been harmed by their quasi-fame.  My friend Anh keeps her kids mostly off her social, and if she posts them it’s from behind.  Maybe at some point, when Sloane can consent to being in photos, I’ll do that.

As for just sharing Mom tips, maybe there is a middle ground here.  And I’ll give that some thought.  But I want CHS to be a place where women with and without kids feel comfortable, so I would need to find a balance.

I appreciate your question, because it’s certainly one I’ve gotten before.  And we’ll see if there’s a way to share more parenting hacks without getting into the deeper weeds.

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