The Edition: No. 301

Nov 30, 2021

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. // Theodore Roosevelt

+ Maybe you’re just not meant to have a morning routine.

+ The cozy (and affordable) tunic and pants I live in on the weekend.

+ No, Hanukkah is not ‘Jewish Christmas.’

+ C by Bloomingdale’s still has the best mid-price cashmere.

+ Six signs your relationship with alcohol may be unhealthy.

+ The Rack extended Cyber Monday. I snapped up these Fendi sunglasses.

+ Broadway luminaries sing a tribute to Sondheim in Times Square.

+ Terrain always has the best preserved holiday wreaths.

+ Thinking about divorce? You aren’t the only one.

+ Holiday Outfit. Sequin wrap dress + pearl drops + simple sandals.

+ Can someone bring me an Earl Grey + Salted Caramel Brownie?

+ A must-have plus-size work dress and its misses size counterpart.

+ How bosses are creating horrible ‘office culture.’

+ This Follain refillable soap is an affordable Aesop replacement.

+ Product ‘before and after’ photos that will blow your mind.

+ This $28 paper clip chain bracelet would make a great gift.

+ Menopausal women are fighting for support in the workplace.

+ This pink box bag is blowing my mind with it’s awesomeness.

Long Read. The woman who built Neiman Marcus, and the lasting impact of one retailer.

Tomorrow, I start a new job where I will be a complete beginner. My embryo transfer is on the calendar.  And everything in my life feels a little scary and uncertain right now.

Last night, I the Masked Monday Live discussed the difference between being brave in your twenties and being brave in your thirties and forties.

In your younger years, you feel brave, but really it’s just the cushioning effect of knowing that you have plenty of time to fix mistakes and not much to lose.  As we age, the stakes become higher.  The time to fix an error becomes shorter.  We get used to a certain amount of comfort — whether financial or emotional.

I worked hard to become an expert in my field.  To become the person in the room who is expected to have the answers, and does.  But I’m about to be the person in the back, with more questions than answers again, and it feels uncomfortable.

I have posts ready to go for this week, but things may be light around here for awhile as I figure out how to begin again at 39.5 years old.

{this post contains affiliate links that may generate commission for the author}

Workday Reading

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  1. BN says:

    Good luck on the new job!!

  2. AC says:

    Good luck in your new job and new chapters in your personal life! Thank you for maintaining a wonderful and honest corner of the internet that I return to again and again.

  3. Cait says:

    Good luck on the new job! I really enjoyed your Mask Monday yesterday and appreciated your willingness to talk candidly about where you’re at and why you’ve made this choice.

  4. RosaD says:

    Thank you for posting the Hannukah article!! I appreciate it so much when non Jews take the time to learn a little about our culture.

  5. Brett says:

    Good luck in your new job and in this new chapter of your life. In the inevitable discomfort, remember that learning something new and beginning again are how we stay young. All the best!

  6. Jenn says:

    Good luck at your new job! When I felt nervous before starting my new job I was told I would either love it and learn a lot or I wouldn’t end up liking it, but I would still learn a lot. Both experiences are invaluable. Here’s hoping it’s the former and not the latter!

  7. Kay says:

    Good luck with all of the uncertainty ahead – I can totally relate to bravery in your 20s vs. 40s. Thanks for sharing these glimpses into what’s going on for you. Wishing you all good things.

    And thanks for the cashmere recs! After a tough year I want my professional clothes to feel cozy and luxurious so I’ve wanted to pick up some cashmere sweaters and silk tops to see how I like them. Looking forward to seeing how it comes together.

  8. Cyn says:

    Best of luck on your new adventures, both personal and professional. I hope you enjoy every second of the roller coaster that is starting anew. Thanks as always for sharing your story with us; you are an adventurer extraordinare and an inspiration!

  9. Jess says:

    I “began again” this past fall at 40 finally getting into my field after staying home with kids. And there is something to be said about getting wiser as you get older. So while I am new to what I am doing and pretty much know nothing, I am confident in myself, and my path, and I look at the 20 something kids I work with and their struggles, while real, are things I have overcome, and moved on from. So take that with you- you might be new but you have so much more than they do in life experience, and it really does count for something.

    • Elise says:

      This is a great perspective. I switched fields in my mid-30s and I can appreciate the perspective that being a little bit older and “hopefully” wiser gives as I go through grad school and internships.

  10. Kira says:

    Hi Abra, just wanted to drop you some encouragement regarding your situation starting a new job. I’m a young attorney, so I definitely feel that “more questions than answers” situation. But something my husband says to me has really helped me when I start to get down on myself for feeling like I don’t know anything or constantly need help. He taught me to ask myself, “Why SHOULD I know this?” Seriously, why should you?! It’s so easy to constantly have that refrain of *I shouldn’t need help* running in our minds, but that’s false and destructive. There’s NO REASON you should know how to do something you’ve never done. And anyone who expects otherwise is arrogant and unrealistic. So, next time you feel yourself doubting yourself, just ask, why should I know this?? And you’ll realize you shouldn’t 🙂

  11. KJW says:

    My mentor at work had me join her at her new firm, in an entirely new area of law. While I have 5 years of practice under my belt, starting over was intimidating. She told me that while I am new in this particular field, I still have the experience, intuition, and good judgment from my other area of practice, and that I am not truly starting over. It helped my confidence a lot. Good luck with the new opportunity!

  12. Kate says:

    “I worked hard to become an expert in my field. To become the person in the room who is expected to have the answers, and does. But I’m about to be the person in the back, with more questions than answers again, and it feels uncomfortable.”

    wowww…I just left my org, where I’d been for 11 years, and where I led a big team. I am now at an org that’s 5% the size of my previous one, and my role is not as a people leader but as an individual contributor. It’s been kind of terrifying.

    What I’ve seen in the past month: sometimes being the person asking the questions is a SUPREMELY important role. I’ve been telling myself that I know things and they wouldn’t have hired me if not for my experience. They want and need my perspective.

    Best of luck – you’ll be great <3

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