This week, we have questions from readers about lightweight laptop totes, bridesmaid gifts, and what to do when you have to attend an event and you feel ‘meh’ about your appearance.  So let’s get started.

Dear Abra:

This weekend, I have a cocktail-attire event for my work.  It’s outdoors, on a rooftop, and our company has made every effort to require vaccines and socially distance groups.  

I’m sending this question because nothing in my closet fits, and it’s too late to find something off the rack.  I went to the department stores and it was just loungewear and ballgowns.  I’ll have to wear whatever is available, but do you have any tips for feeling more confident?  I tried on everything in my closet last night and it was just not feeling or looking good.  Any help is appreciated.

Thank you, Beleaguered in Boston

Honey, I feel this so hard. You reach into your closet for your favorite dress, and it doesn’t fit.  You try on the others, and they look different.  You blame yourself and you feel bad, but really, there’s no reason to feel crappy.  We all need to offer ourselves a little grace right now, even though I know that’s easier said than done.

As for how to feel better about yourself, I have one fail safe tip: An outfit you feel ‘meh’ about needs good hair and good makeup.  If you can hire a service like GlamSquad to come, great.  If you need to look up TikTok tutorials (this is my current favorite), that’s good to.  But I’ve found that unless you’re wearing something that really wows, wearing something basic and neutral with fantastic hair and makeup is even better.

Also, while shapewear is not something I recommend lightly, a pair of Spanx can help in this situation.  Spanx OnCore are the strongest compression they make; I wear them when I need help.  You can also choose a less restrictive option if you just need a little smoothing.

Another great brand of shapewear is Nancy Ganz.  It’s prettier than Spanx, and I like the feel of the material a bit better.  They’re standard short is a nice option.  If you don’t like shorts, her slip dress shaper is really fantastic.

Belle,

I need a gift for my bridesmaids.  I have seven of them (big Catholic family) so expensive gifts are not really an option.  I was thinking about a nice gift basket.  What did you do?

 J

I covered my Maid of Honor’s expenses (her dress, hair, childcare, etc..) for the weekend, since I just had one bridesmaid.  But one of the cutest gifts I’ve seen is the embroidered sweatshirts from Etsy.  You can do people’s names, a slogan, their initials, whatever you want.  This one is my favorite for bridesmaids.  I also like this one that uses Roman numerals for a date.

Hi Abra,  have loved your blog for many many years.

So this is a very specific question that maybe your or your readers can help me with. I have a nice Cuyana leather bag when I am going into the local office. (Thanks for introducing me to the brand – it’s lovely and I got it monogrammed in person!)

However, for my 40 year old back the leather just too heavy when I travel for work. I’ve had the black on black Longchamps Le Pliage forever and could just re-order but thought I would ask if you have run across anything similarly lightweight, good enough for a semi-formal office environment and if a girl can dream with a bigger internal pocket.

Thanks, Liz

My Cuyana laptop bag is only used if I don’t have to haul it.  Halfway through the legislative session, I broke and started carrying the new Lo & Sons laptop bag.

Nylon laptop totes are tough to find, but Dagne Dover and Lo and Sons have a bunch of nice options.  Dagne Dover’s neoprene backpack is a very popular option.  Everlane also has a nylon weekender bag that has a nice look to it.

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