Workday Reading

The Edition: No. 115

“Don’t ever put your future in another man’s hands.” — Unknown

Leveraged. How to use a job offer to negotiate with your current boss.

Carried. Need a beach bag? This Baggu canvas tote folds up to fit in your suitcase.

Swiped Out. How online dating is taking over, and why it feels so difficult.

Skirted. Nordstrom Rack has a great selection of very affordable skirts.  This dotted Pleione is pretty, but this blush Nanette Lepore is a stunner.

Questioned. “Why are you interested in this position?” Uhhhh….

Patterned. Someone needs to wear this J.Crew dress to my wedding.

Thawed. Don’t put all of your (frozen) eggs in one basket.

Slipped. Still need sandals? Amazon has you covered. I bought these leopard ones.  What?  Leopard is a neutral.

Lifted. 5 Bad Office Habits to Break to Get Promoted.

Collared. The perfect white shirtdress from Gap (in tall and petite).

Distanced. I need space from my boyfriend; how do I tell him?

I swore off dessert until the wedding (when I am going to crush some donuts), so my baking is on hiatus.  First order of business, unsubscribe from the My Baking Addiction emails.  Why?  Because how good does this strawberry cheesecake fluff look.

Also, speaking of the wedding.  Did any of you have serious wedding dress FOMO in the weeks leading up to the ceremony?  I bought a dress, and I love it.  Then, the dress I dreamed about that was a no go due to a short engagement became available.

I keep telling myself that I have a dress, and that I need to move on.  And that I would rather put the $4,000 into a new blog design.  But wedding stress and FOMO have made my mind a dark, tulle and organza filled alley.  Hoping this is all normal.

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  1. JenNA says:

    Completely normal. Overload on wedding based media was leading me to lots of FOMO the last few months. I unsubscribed from all the media and threw away the pile bridal of magazines. As long as you’re not second guessing the marriage itself, you’ll survive.

    That dress is quite dreamy though. 🙂

    July 25, 2019/Reply
    • Amber says:

      I agree it’s totally normal. My rule for myself was once I bought the dress, I stopped looking!

      July 25, 2019/Reply
      • E says:

        Yep, totally normal, especially as you have to buy wedding dresses so far in advance (gives you more time to second guess your decision on something where you’re already overwhelmed with options). I had dress FOMO but 5+ years later, love the dress I wore. You will too–I promise. 🙂

        July 25, 2019/Reply
  2. Amber says:

    I wasn’t sure I was the type to ever feel the clouds parting, angels singing certainty about my wedding dress, but I found one that feels right, feels like me, and makes me feel confident. I absolutely love it, but I also figure the memories of the wedding day itself (a few months out) will make me look back at my dress with the certainty that you often hear other brides reminiscing about.

    Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!

    July 25, 2019/Reply
    • Lauren says:

      Lovely sentiment

      July 27, 2019/Reply
  3. Katie says:

    I definitely had dress FOMO! I had tried on a beautiful dress that I loved, but it was totally wrong for my venue. The weeks before my wedding I was freaking out about my “basic” dress. I have no regrets now though- it suited me, the venue, the photos, and I think it will hold up over time (as in, not look totally nuts in photos in 50 years).

    July 25, 2019/Reply
  4. Liz says:

    Totally normal about the dress! I had a similar situation, but could not justify the extra $ on a new dress. In the end I was happy with my original dress! I think there is so much pressure to find “the one” that it makes it seem like you can’t like more than one dress. As long as you like your dress and you are comfortable in it, I would stick with it!

    July 25, 2019/Reply
  5. Allison says:

    Thank you so much for sharing the article about freezing eggs. I always knew that the success rate was low, but didn’t know it was 2-4% per egg, and those are just the eggs that are viable post thaw, not total eggs frozen. It seems to be a big scam to me, these medical companies taking huge sums from women to freeze eggs, when it’s incredibly unlikely to be successful. I’d love to see more honesty here so women can make informed choices, but I see why it’s so incredibly sensitive and emotional. I’m pregnant (not without my own challenging fertility journey) and friends my age (35) who are single often say, “oh it’s fine I’m just freezing my eggs!” and I so desperately want to be sure that they know that’s unlikely to be successful, but (obviously!) I would never say that. And who knows, maybe they are aware, and are just dealing with being sad that they want children but don’t want to do it without a partner and it’s just so infuriating that we can’t do much about it. It’s just such a cruel reality that our bodies are still chained to time.

    July 25, 2019/Reply
  6. Jenny says:

    I loved my dress, a semi-custom Judd Waddell. And yet I still sometimes have a random twinge of…not regret, but just wondering what if I had gone with something else. There are so many beautiful dresses out there, and endless styles, and of course there are many that I could have been happy with. A tiny bit of FOMO is inevitable. But you only get to pick one, and I know I did pick a great one. It’s not unlike picking your partner, in a strange way.

    July 25, 2019/Reply
  7. jules says:

    That’s why I deliberately did not extensively look at wedding venues, dresses, food, etc. I only tried on three dresses. Thankfully I loved the dress and never had FOMO. I only looked at one venue, and only looked at two food options. Sometimes, limiting your choices makes you happier 🙂 But yes- totally normal what you are going through. I just bought a condo, and I have condo FOMO

    July 25, 2019/Reply
  8. Eden says:

    I had the same experience. And to my (pragmatist) surprise, I bought the second dress! I felt severe financial guilt. BUT, when the wedding madness was over, I sold the first dress on OnceWed for my full purchase price (it was new with tags, had not been altered, and I had purchased it at a slight discount from its typical retail price). So, I’m just here to say, if you choose to buy the second dress, try not let yourself feel the shame I felt for purchasing two (expensive) dresses. The shame contributed to unnecessary anxiety. In the end, you want to feel your most confident in your wedding dress, whichever dress it may be. And know there is a person out there who had great luck selling in the wedding dress resale market.

    July 25, 2019/Reply
  9. Carolyn says:

    I agree with others – once you’ve made wedding decisions, stop looking! But, if there’s something you can’t stop thinking about, just go for it.

    What helped with my dress was going for fittings and bringing the shoes and accessories – it was so fun to see it come together. Plus, everyone will tell you how perfect it is, and you’ll feel good about that!!

    If you aren’t doing bridal portraits, I still recommend you do a “dress rehearsal” – it was nice to put it all on with makeup and hair and make sure I was happy.

    July 25, 2019/Reply
  10. Linda Parisi says:

    The Gap shirt dress links to a skirt on Nordstrom Rack.

    July 25, 2019/Reply
  11. Andrea says:

    Oh Lordy, yes! I feel this in my soul.

    I leave for my destination wedding tomorrow. At the final fitting of a gorgeous dress that I love, I was seized by a mania unlike any I have ever experienced. Did I still love this dress? Does it actually flatter my figure? Are all my em-effing-expensive photos going to be FOREVER RUINED IF I’M WEARING THIS DRESS?!? It was so bad I actually took a backup dress that I had previously bought on clearance (and intended to resell) to a tailor and begged them to alter it in the week I had left before my departure “just in case”. It was like an alien had taken over my brain and all I could think of was my dress not being The One.

    They say every bride has one major meltdown. Let us hope this is the only one, for both of us! No matter what I know you will look radiant and spectacular.

    July 25, 2019/Reply
    • Belle says:

      YES! This is my song!

      July 25, 2019/Reply
  12. Jk says:

    Having been thru 2 recent weddings with my daughters I promise the dress becomes less important the minute you and Kyle say “I do.” The reception, family, friends and joy of the day is what you will remember. You will be beautiful and you have this!

    July 26, 2019/Reply
  13. Anna says:

    That is an amazing dress, but it doesn’t look like a dress anyone could actually enjoy a wedding in.

    July 26, 2019/Reply
  14. J says:

    FOMO? Yes. For everything. For the dress specifically, I was torn between two dresses with a 2k price difference not including alterations. I bought the cheaper one because I knew that I needed that 2k elsewhere. I thought about the other dress until about 3 months before the wedding to the point that my parents were willing to buy it for me (we were paying for the wedding ourselves). Once the timeframe for alterations had passed, I knew I had to let it go. I had a great time at my wedding, enjoyed the dress I wore, and nearly 10 years later, don’t even remember what the 2nd dress looks like. Abra, you do you. If you can budget for that second dress and let go of any guilt, go for it. If there’s any doubt in your mind, don’t do it. You’re getting married no matter what you’re wearing!!!

    July 26, 2019/Reply
  15. Kathleen H Lisson says:

    That is one hell of a dream dress.

    July 26, 2019/Reply