The Daily Eight: September 6, 2016

Sep 6, 2016

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1) 11 Ways to Stop Overworking Yourself. (Bustle)

2) This $59 off-the-shoulder sweaterdress is a must.  Try it with these $20 onyx bar hoops from Baublebar.

3) A type-A guide to taking time off written by the Birchbox co-founder. (Medium)

4) Need a baby shower gift? This flamingo Charley Harper growth chart is the sweetest.

5) Mrs. Schlafly reveled in being an enemy of the “women’s libbers.”  She was the worst, but she was the very, very best at it.  (The Washington Post)

6) Everlane is making the perfect skinny, ponte pant.  I also love this Japanese zip-back top and the best $15 tee.

7) The conversation to have with your boss before you decide to quit. (Business Insider)

8) This carrera marble iPhone case is fun and stylish without being over the top.

*image found here.

Workday Reading

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  1. E says:

    As someone who recently had a baby, I cannot recommend strongly enough to avoid decor-related gifts (unless they are on the parents’ registry). Decor is so highly personal, and unless you know that a gift fits squarely within the theme chosen by the parents, it’s really unwise. Stick with registry items, books/clothes, or get a gift card to wherever they registered. Or deliver food after baby comes.

  2. X says:

    So tired of the entitlement attitude of parents (especially in the DC Metro area). I’m not sure why having a kid is a gift giving occasion, anyway.
    The growth chart is a good suggestion – if not for someone shopping for a baby gift, then for someone putting together a list of item’s she’d like to receive.

    • Belle says:

      Babies need a lot of stuff, and it’s pretty expensive. Even the Target stuff, I look at the price and am like, “Are you kidding?.” So I don’t mind being asked for a reasonable gift (a pack of onesies, some swaddling cloths, some diapers, etc.), but when a former acquaintance asked everyone for cash so they could take a “post-baby anniversary trip,” I was just like, “No, forget it.”

    • Cait says:

      I’m not sure that I’m ok with calling parents “entitled” in regards to baby gifts. In my experience, when people are expecting a child their friends and family want to share in their joy and give gifts to the new baby either to help out the parents, or to show that they care about the new kid. Registries exist so that people know how best to do that. In some cases, I’ve provided food, babysitting services, or help cleaning the house and setting up the nursery to show my friends I cared about them and I wanted to congratulate them on an exciting new chapter in their lives. It’s not always about money, extravagance, and entitlement. I can’t get behind requesting outrageous things unrelated to the baby, but a normal baby gift to help out and show you care doesn’t seem problematic to me.

      • Anna says:

        I see why they’re a “former” acquaintance. That’s ridiculous.

      • Belle says:

        Normal baby gift, no problem. But I’ve just seen registries explode over the years. Sometimes ppl just over register, but then you see the $400 playpen or the $800 stroller and you’re like, “I wouldn’t buy that for a relative or myself.” One of my friends said, “Well that’s not on the list for you to buy it, it’s for the grandparents to buy it.” While I suppose that’s true, wouldn’t it just be easier to tell the grandparents that’s what you would like than putting it on a registry and advertising it? So much weirdness with gifts these days.

        • E says:

          Most baby stores offer completion discounts to the parents, so they can purchase whatever is left on the registry at a discount. I assume that some of those more expensive items fall into that category for many families.

    • M says:

      I agree with E. I received several decor related baby gifts that didn’t match my nursery and consequently went unused, sitting in the back of the closet until I donated them years later. This is not an issue of entitlement – it’s about now wanting your friends and family to spend money on something that won’t be used.

      • Belle says:

        I get giving what is asked. In this case, they don’t have a registry. So I was kind of hunting for something that they could either use or return to a store where they might find something else. I know the room is pink, so I think it’ll work.

  3. E says:

    I agree with Cait completely. If you don’t want to give someone a gift, that’s your decision. But if you do, at least make it something that the parents can use. It’s no more unreasonable to buy someone a gift to celebrate the birth of a child than to buy a couple a wedding present, or a friend an engagement present.

    • Anna says:

      I think the decor rule is pretty universal when gift giving. It’s something so personal. I for one, rarely like decor with words, especially of the quasi-inspirational variety, but my friends who have generally good taste love “Keep Calm…” posters and cutesy picture frames that I would hate. When I get that stuff it just gets shoved away somewhere or relegated to my office. Kids have so much crap already, I can’t imagine more useless stuff.

  4. r says:

    Belle- This is such an interesting thread! I’d be interested for you (and your readers) take on wedding gifts and registries- I have the HARDEST time figuring out what to do and what to get, how much to spend or give.

    • Belle says:

      My thoughts on weird registries have been talked about before. I HATE when people register for a house via Hatch My House or some other site. I had a friend go to a wedding a fe years ago where both bride and groom each owned a home, and they were asking for donations for their dream “forever home.” Which was pretty insensitive since most of their guests were coming from municipalities where owning a home was not and might never be an option.

      I don’t mind honeymoon registries or being asked for a gift. I received an invite once where it mentioned that the per person cost of the wedding was $210, and asked for something commensurate in cash. I did not go to the wedding, and I have not spoken to the bride or groom since. We weren’t that close, and I thought after that, “These are just not the people I want to be friends with.” I figure my lack of attendance saved them $210, so mazel tov.

      • shieraseastar says:

        Why are people in America so weird about getting gifts? I say this as someone born and bred in America but from an ethnicity where people try to outdo each other with gifts because it’s a joyous occasion (duh!). Honestly, we should go the China route where everyone just shows up with cash for the newlyweds.

  5. RG says:

    The size guide on the Everlane pants is a joke. I get that they are the actual garment measurements, and the garment does stretch…but I don’t know how much the garment stretches or what size body they are intended for. Garment measurements may work for woven fabrics, but they are falling down on the job here.

  6. SN says:

    Phyllis Schlafly is dead? Best news I have heard all day! Dreadful old bat.

  7. Shelley says:

    I got married in India- my husband is Indian, I am not. We got gifts in the forms of cash and gold and some other “interesting” stuff. People in India go to weddings to celebrate the marriage and to eat really good food! At least the weddings I have been to. The focus is NOT on getting or giving gifts and couples don’t have registries either. I just think it’s an interesting cultural difference, where in America and Canada the focus on weddings these days is about how much money a couple can make or having their guests pay for their honeymoon. To each their own and I know it’s not the case all the time, but it’s really off putting.
    We live in Canada now and my husband find the cultural differences really interesting. Though he does find western weddings really fun too!

  8. SN says:

    Ha ha my brother was married in India-same. He commented the “interesting” stuff should be nailed to the wall and spray painted…. Unfortunately the wedding gift idea has indeed travelled to India, but has not been fully digested. That said Indian weddings are just as huge a waste on money as Western ones, being largely demonstrations of wasteful excess whose purpose is to maintain family prestige. They should all be done away with.

  9. KD says:

    Re: baby shower gifts – I like to get a few items off of the registry and toss in a personal, off-registry gift. This tiny vase from UncommonGoods has become my go-to – https://www.uncommongoods.com/product/moms-little-vase. Everyone seems to love it, and if they don’t, you didn’t spend a ton of money on it.

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