Over the years, I’ve heard brides express a number of theories about how to choose bridesmaids. Some believe in keeping the bridal party small, others (like most of the ladies in my hometown) believe the more the merrier, and choose 16 of their closest friends to stand up for them. I’ve known brides who felt that the bridal party should be kept to family only. And I’ve met a few women who didn’t want attendants, preferring to walk down the aisle alone. But how does one choose who will make the cut?
Yesterday, I read a Jezebel article about a woman who found out that she was not going to be included in a friend’s wedding because she was too overweight and too pale to fit in with the bride’s beach wedding vision. Suddenly, I came down with a case of the stabbies.
To exclude the woman and then explain that she was rejected because she exceeded the maximum weight requirement is tactless, insensitive, self-centered and a few other words that I can’t type here. Leaving her out because of her weight makes you a bad friend and a person of questionable character, but sharing your darkest, innermost thoughts with her via e-mail just to rub salt takes it to a while ‘nother level. Talk about vile.
Given this shocking exercise in perspective-less narcissism, I shouldn’t be surprised that the bride turned around and invited her “friend” to the wedding like it was some sort of game show consolation prize. Because once you’ve been gravely insulted by someone you consider a loved one, you should be ecstatic to celebrate her marriage by purchasing a set of monogrammed towels from her registry and dancing The Funky Chicken at her reception.
I’m sorry, that was wrong of me, this bride is clearly too classy for The Funky Chicken.
Seriously though, bad bride behavior is something that we are far too tolerant of in this country and this example just takes the cake. How did pledging your life to another person in front of family and friends become a license to behave like a Regina George-Kim Kardashian hybrid?
It’s no surprise that America’s divorce rate is so high when, instead of focusing on the marriage, we allow brides (and grooms) to turn the celebration of a life-long commitment into an audition for the adult-version of My Super Sweet 16.
So what do you think ladies: Am I naive to think that you should choose your bridesmaids based on how you feel about them, not how they look? Would you even entertain the notion of attending this woman’s wedding? Could you still consider her a friend?