Fashion Quest: Gold Flats Edition
Jan 17, 2012
In 2008, Steve Madden began selling the greatest ballet flat known to womankind. Simple, elegant and blissfully free of medallions, baubles and insignias, the Koobaa slip on was a fabulous shoe. Women stopped me in airports, shopping centers and during Capitol tours just to ask who made my flats. They were that awesome.
Once I realized that I’d found the Holy Grail of footwear, I bought four pairs of gold flats and wore them into the ground over the course of the next three years. When my last pair blew a gasket in late 2011, I discovered that Steve Madden was no longer making my beloved flats. Instead, he replaced them with some glitter-covered usurper. I mourned for weeks, and then I got proactive.
I scanned eBay religiously to no avail. I called the Steve Madden corporate headquarters, no luck. I tried on dozens of pairs of look-a-like flats but found them all lacking. In my grief, I briefly flirted with the idea of switching to the Tory Burch Reva, but even if I could get past the gigantic medallion on the front advertising her brand (which I couldn’t) the elastic in the back pinched my heel something fierce.
But then, just when I was about to give up hope and go back to wearing heels, like a beacon from the heavens they appeared (cue the angels and divine illumination):
Aren’t they dreamy? The supple leather, the rounded toe, the lack of any unecessary accoutrements. Why, yes, these are the perfect flats.
To restock my wardrobe, I intend to buy five pair of the leopard, five pair of the black patent, ten pair of the nude and 25 pair of the gold. If only they sold a red pair, I’d be done with shoe shopping until I was 91.
Unlike my waistline, my shoe size will never change, and a simple pair of ballet flats is always in style. So while I may not have the means to buy the 45 pairs of shoes that would see me through until 2073, I will be buying at least a few pair, paycheck permitting.
Some people hoard food in preparation for the apocalypse, I hoard shoes. Because once you find the perfect pair of metallic ballet flats, you’ll wear them with everything. Now, I wonder if Nine West will lower the price if I intend to buy in bulk…