Last week, I received a puzzling e-mail from the good ladies of Gilt, the sample sale site that I use to fill my closet with discount designer wares.  The e-mail was an invite to Gilt Noir, the site’s enviably exclusive counterpart.  

Sure, it was just a one week trial, and they probably sent them to thousands of people. But for a moment, I felt like a member of the upper middle class to which I aspire.

Until, that is, I actually looked at the site.

I love Gilt, and nothing will ever change that.  But when I set my eyes on the strand of black Mikimoto pearls, priced at a very reasonable $18,000, I nearly fell off of my desk chair (Target, $54.99).

For the last six days, Gilt Noir has served as a prickly afternoon reminder that I am not a member of the royal court.  That I don’t even have enough money in savings to buy the cheapest item on the site.  Hell, I don’t even have enough collateral to go to the bank to borrow the money necessary to purchase the cheapest item on the site.

But this is not to say that Gilt Noir doesn’t have its perks.

The customer service is amazing.  I had a question about an item (from the regular site) that I wanted to purchase as a gift.  So I called the exclusive Gilt Noir customer service number for assistance, and spoke with an operator who was so helpful and accommodating that she even offered to email me more photos of the item if it would help me feel more comfortable with my purchase.

I will never have an AmEx black card or a bank account in the Cayman Islands.  But even if I can’t afford a single item in the Noir section of the site, I really enjoyed my week as a Gilt VIP.