When the heavens open and the rain pours down from the sky, we Hill staffers grumble through our morning commutes dreaming of sunny days that (hopefully) lie ahead. But yesterday, as I traverse the wet cobblestones of Penn Quarter, I began compiling a mental list of my rainy day pet peeves. So, I thought I’d break out my soap box and take it for a little spin.
Pet Peeve #1: The Giant Umbrella. It can be difficult to navigate the District’s narrow sidewalks when every pedestrian on the street is carrying an umbrella, but the situation becomes especially precarious in the presence of the “Golf Umbrella.”
Measuring five feet across, pedestrians prostrate themselves before the golf umbrella. Mostly out of fear of decapitation. Why these commuters require an umbrella wide enough to function as event space for a gathering of 300 is anyone’s guess.
Unless your umbrella was a gift from Q and shoots blow darts designed to save your life in the event you’re attacked by Dr. No, there is no reason why you can’t just use a standard retractable umbrella.
Pet Peeve #2: Track Jackets. Hey you! You wearing a business suit and a windbreaker! It is not 1992 and this is not a golf course. Double bogey if you picked up your rain gear at a business conference.
For goodness sake gentlemen, just buy a trench.
Pet Peeve #3: Ankle Wellies. As I have stated before, I believe that colored and printed rain boots present a rare opportunity to inject a little whimsy into a staid rainy day wardrobe. However, I will never understand why any woman would choose plastic ankle boots over knee-high wellies. But I suppose this is more of a personal preference than a straight out faux pas.
Pet Peeve #4: Stop, Look, Listen. It’s tough to have a good hair day on a humid, rainy Washington day. So the last thing that I need is to be soaked by some jackass shaking out his umbrella like he’s having an epileptic fit.
Please, Hill staffers, before you shake the drops from your sodden umbrella, step out of the security line. The twenty people in line behind you would prefer not to be rained on while indoors. Your compliance in this matter is greatly appreciated.
Pet Peeve #5: Are You My Nana? Yesterday, I saw a 22(?)-year-old woman entering a Georgetown home wearing a rain bonnet. Like a full on old lady rain bonnet. Do I need to even go into the reasons why this is unacceptable?
Lose the rain bonnet until you’re old enough to get a wash and set three times per week and carry an AARP card. Until then, a clear umbrella is always in style.
What are your rainy day pet peeves? Fashion or otherwise.