The Council of Fashion Designers of America hosts the Super Bowl of red carpet events.  Unlike the Academy Awards where actresses don their finest attire in hopes of ending up on Joan Rivers’ Best Dressed List, the CFDA attendees are invited and dressed by the designers themselves.  Thus, the riff raff is kept out and only the finest, and occasional wackiest, gowns stroll down this carpet.  

Evening gowns two days in a row?  Be still my beating heart.

Yes, Katy Perry’s dress is reminiscent of Scarlett O’Hara.  That is, of course, if Tara was a stately plantation home outside of Chernobyl.

After drawing more than a few sideways glances, Perry suggested to a journalist that the Icelandic volcano prevented her from getting a different (better) gown.  And if you believe that, I have some swamp land in Reykjavik that I’d like to sell you.

By the look on her face, I’d say that Kristen Stewart knows that her Chanel gown is no prize.  Then again, she always looks sour and unhappy so, who can tell?  

Also, I’d just like to state for the record that if you’re a 21-year-old millionaire with limited acting ability but more fame than you can carry in an oil tanker, you might want to smile.  Because if you can’t manage it with all the blessings in your life, you should probably check yourself in to some sort of facility.  

Translation: Lighten up you spoiled b***h.  And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

From the waist up, I actually like Kirsten Dunst Rodarte gown.  From the waist down, however, Dunst looks like she’s channeling Laura Ingalls.  The booties are positively Prairie Home Companion.

It’s a 39-year-old woman in a jump suit.  Well, isn’t that just…precious.  Sadder still is that judging by the fit of those pants, the whole outfit seems to have been made with remnants from a Hillary Rodham Clinton pantsuit.  Way to reuse and recycle Tina Fey.

If you’d like to Chanel Iman rock the evening jumper with style, click here.

Now that we’ve looked at the gown that made me cringe, let’s look at the gowns that I would happily commit grand larceny to own.

Camilla Belle looked stunning in Jason Wu.  I don’t know who she is, but IMDB claims she is an actress.  Apparently, she dated a Jonas brother and was in a couple of lackluster movies.  If that’s all you have to do to get invited to CFDA, I’m kind of disappointed.

Only a woman with a killer body and strong bone structure can pull off a white crewneck gown.  Diane Kruger’s Calvin Klein dress is so simple, but it’s the impeccable tailoring that makes it amazing.

Zoe Saldana also looked incredible in her Calvin Klein one-shoulder gown.  Both of these dresses perfectly capture the Calvin Klein aesthetic: simple, fitted elegance.  Of course, having the body of a ballerina doesn’t hurt either.

Even though I despise Jenny from the Block and typically shy away from the poofy dresses, Jennifer Lopez looks ah-may-zing in this Zuhair Murad gown.  The hair is incredible and the smokey eye is just sensational.  

The fact that I love this dress is just as surprising to me as it is to you.  But from the moment Kate Bosworth stepped into the camera frame, I just fell in love with her Valentino gown.  

The relaxed fit, the elegant draping, the sheer, beaded fabric, and the exposed back are just perfect.  Her entire look is incredibly stylish without looking overly fussy.  I just adore it.

If you want to do a little more evening gown ogling to get you through the day, there are plenty more photos over at Just Jared.  I personally recommend Kristen Bell, Marion Cotillard and Mariska Hargitay.