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The Golden Globes: Worst Dressed List

When people ask, “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?,” I always take the bad news first.  So let’s get the Golden Globes worst dressed list out of the way, shall we?

Apparently, olive green is “How Sue C’s It.”  And while I think the color actually works with her skin tone but I hate the keyhole halter top.

Jennifer Morrison has a habit of choosing dressed that wash her out.  This one is no exception.  Made by a Puerto Rican designer, this dress really doesn’t work on a pale blonde. She does pull of the red lip nicely though.

As Miss Pillsbury on the hit show Glee, Jayma Mays has one of the cutest wardrobes on TV but this dress is a hot mess.  It looks like something Elvira would wear if she were a Southern Debutante.  She’s just adorable for such an ugly dress.

Julianne Moore is modeling a lovely shapeless frock that makes her breasts look smaller and her hips look wider.  Cause isn’t that what women want?  

From the neck up, Christina Hendricks looks gorgeous.  From the neck down, she looks like a 1950s prom queen.  Christian Soriano of Project Runway made this gown and, in my opinion, it is less than fierce.

On a related note, doesn’t her back hurt?

Two words: David’s Bridal

When I saw Tea Leoni, I had to do a double take.  This is just a hot mess.  The shirt is too slouchy, the necklace is all wrong, the skirt is too short and the shoes too heavy.  And lastly, that would be too much eye liner for a raccoon let alone a middle-aged blonde woman.

And the winner for the worst of the worst…the ugliest dress of the night goes to…

When Mariah Carey told Ryan Seacrest that this look was “subtle” because the dress had cap sleeves and was full length, I laughed so hard that I almost choked.  First off, the opening is so wide that it verges on vulgar.  Secondly, the wide opening makes her look like her head was shrunk by an Amazonian Medicine Man.  Thirdly, that dress is so tight that she is sporting enough pooch to start a pregnancy rumor (again).  And lastly, as for her handmaiden, Nick Cannon, that is way too much break in your slacks.   

 And if I could politely request an end to the “golden globes” jokes, I would really appreciate it.  It was funny last year when Tina Fey said it, but now it’s just tired.