Christmas Shopping in a House of Horrors

Over the holiday, my family and I decided to go shopping at the local Dillard’s for some last minute Christmas presents.  Currently in search of a new purse, I decided to see what offerings the retail chain had in stock.  What I encountered was a House of Horrors, everywhere I turned there was another faux pas.  I’m still in recovery.


First to grab my attention was this Ed Hardy purse.  I thought it was paisley until I realized that those are in fact human skulls.  Charming isn’t it?

Turning quickly to the right in search of escape, I discovered another Ed Hardy gem.  Nothing says class like an emerald green purse with a tattoo on it saying “True Love.”  And at just $270 this purse is really a bargain.

Turning my back on Ed and his frightening fashions (?), I found myself face-to-face with Fala and a purse only Eleanor Roosevelt could love.  I mean seriously, there are dogs on that Dooney bag!

I spun around and got, not dogs, but ducks.  Flourescent neon LSD flashback ducks no less.  And is that a confetti colored zipper?  Dear Lord.

It was at this point that I grabbed my father’s arm and said in a low tone, “We must leave this place, our very lives depend on it.”  But as we were making a break for the truck, I encountered this display table. 

One last indignity to ensure that I never again return to my local mall.  Oh the Horror!


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  1. The Doll says:

    How sad! The Dillard’s close to my parents is quite a bit different from the one you experienced. It’s where I got my fantastic gray cloche and bright red Dooney and Bourke bag last month. No skulls in sight, thankfully.

    January 8, 2010/Reply
  2. keck says:

    Despite your horror of ducks, I actually received this bag for Christmas and have since gotten lots of compliments on it. They all came from people obsessed with critter prints, so the point may be null, but it still redeems Dooney and Burke a bit for me. The same can’t be said for Ed Hardy, however.

    January 10, 2010/Reply
  3. Legal Middle Ground says:

    I actually laughed out loud reading this… hilarious!

    January 10, 2010/Reply
  4. Maddie says:

    I laughed so hard when I read this post and then I was skimming through the new Victoria’s Secret swimsuit catalog and what did I find…Ed Hardy swimsuits. It’s just awful and I felt I had to share with someone who would appreciate my horror!

    January 11, 2010/Reply