The Opening Line
Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem.* // John Galsworthy
The Reading List
+ Exhaustion is not the yardstick of productivity. (MIT)
+ My favorite new sunglasses in a chic colorway, just $13.
+ Female friends everywhere (including me) are stuck in the “catch up trap.” (Body/Soul)
+ A Chic Work Look: crochet sweater, wide leg pants, a cool buckle-accent heel.
+ 18 Things You Didn’t Know Your iPhone Could Do. (Wirecutter)
+ The Veronica Beard bag I can’t stop thinking about, and the JW Pei bag I’ll likely buy instead.
+ Nothing last anymore; it’s intentional. (Jess Kirby)
+ I added this Alex Mill cardigan to my cart 6x before I bought it. I shouldn’t have hesitated.
+ Why losing her job at 46 was the “most liberating” day of her life. (Jenny)
+ This $13 color correcting cream is just as good as the $45 one I use.
+ This dumpling and cucumber salad is served almost weekly in my house. (NYT, gift link)
+ A super cool sneaker in a subtle, sophisticated color, under-$50.
And Interesting, if Depressing, Read. American Women Are Giving Up on Marriage. WSJ gift link, or listen to the podcast.
The Last Word
For the first time in my life, I’ve gone actively searching for joy. Our politics is fractious. The weather has been gloomy. The toddler mood swings are taking a toll. And I just need to f**king laugh, you know? Or learn something interesting that doesn’t make my head spin. Here are a three Instagram accounts that I am loving lately.
@all_themoments // Meg has a wardrobe that I envy, but that I can absolutely recreate in any price point without stress. It’s the perfect blend of simple and chic, while understanding that comfort and ease matter. Love.
@garron_music // Garron is the true Irish Ambassador. His funny takes on culture, food and music always make me laugh out loud. 10/10.
@sammicohentalks // Sammi is a Wall Street girlie who makes business news useful and interesting. Thanks to her, I always know the next it brand and the hot gossip that goes with it. She’s the number one share in my group chat.
If you have a favorite follow who isn’t a heavy lift, leave it in the comments.
{this post contains affiliate links that may generate commission for the author}
*Also known as the Intern’s Dilemma.
Oh my! Garron is my new favorite follow! Tears of laughter is my favorite emotion and he solidly delivers. Thank you!
I watched like four talking videos and two singing videos, and oh no, I’m madly in love with Garron. I’m honestly not sure how to tell my husband.
I just listened to Amy Poehler’s podcast & she said that her & Tina Fey’s mood boost is Jiminy Glick interviews. I have never heard of them, but the one with Bill Hader made me laugh so hard that I cried! Highly recommend! Also love love the Veronica Beard bag!
These articles with people being like “I’m 29 and I’m giving up on marriage” are annoying because 29 is so young! And the likelihood that they find someone by 40 is extremely high. Its really more about kids and the ideal timeline for them.
I agree on the age component. I also find it challenging to talk to women in their 20s who have “decided” they don’t want children. I just want to say to them, you think you don’t want them, you may even be pretty sure. And that’s fair and it’s your right to make your choices based on that belief. But you are not going to be the same person at 35 or 40, and you may feel things at that age you do not feel now. This is especially challenging when they are women who are not in committed relationships. Live changes, desires change. So say I don’t think children are in my future, and leave a little room for the woman you will be later to make a different choice based on different feelings, which you may or may not experience.
I am 36. At NO point in my life have I ever wanted children. For years, and even now, I have to put up with comments like “you’ll change your mind” or “you never know,” and it makes me irate. To suggest that a woman doesn’t know her self, wants, and needs simply because she is young is disrespectful.
I understand some people change their minds about all kinds of big life decisions as they age, but it is their prerogative to do so without having to explain themselves. If a woman says they have “decided” on a life choice, we as fellow women should respect that without commentary.
I’ve never told anyone with definitiveness that they’ll change their mind. What I tell them is your life will change, you will change, leave some room for that person. Whether that person wants children/or doesn’t, wants a different job, wants to live in a different place, or some other major life decision is the point. It has more to do with life being long than a person being young. You may very well know this part of yourself, and it may never change — but every person has something important they thought would be forever that they changed their mind about.
Also, I wouldn’t say it to anyone over 35. My concern is for 25 year olds who have very little in their life set. Not someone entering middle life.
Amen to the realization that the ‘giving up on marriage’ article is really about the undercurrent theme of having children.
At 71 and married for 43 years, I can attest the even though we seek the ‘perfect’ partner, the reality is what a friend observed about her husband of 40+ years: “He’s not what I had on ‘my List’ but he’s everything I forgot to add.”
There is no ideal time or perfect time to have children. There will never be enough time, money, space, career stages, etc. to ideally accommodate children. We seem to be so afraid of ‘failure’ in achieving our perfect lives, we can’t seem to appreciate the goodness of just what happens in life. I was so apprehensive about how my 2nd child (at that time ‘on the way’) would fit into our busy lives. A customer with 4 kids commented that “whatever happens, it all just fits in.” We adapt,
we re-group, we renew our plans.
If you can get BBC/PBS series “Call the Midwife” it is a wonderful female-centric program about resilience. Now in season 14, worth the watch.
Now let’s us all take a deep breath or two, and relax more about life.
Garron is great, by the way.
Yes yes yes!
“leave a little room for the woman you will be later” Yes this! It’s thrilling to be a woman grow into who I am at 20, 30 and 40. It’s a wild ride, and leaving a little room is a lovely way to let yourself change as you go.
Favorite Follow of late would be Marfskitchengarden On Instagram. Martha Swales is an amateur backyard gardener who posts the sweetest most quietly uplifting videos of little garden and cooking projects. She’s a delight.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C-LR-ucoEXk/?hl=en