Ask the Editor: Sweet Sixteen, Pt. 3

This is our final list of Sweet 16 questions. First, let me say how much this blog, this community and this side-hustle have given me over the years. I never had any concept at 26 of what my August Recess project would become and the people and experiences it would bring into my life. And for that, I thank each and every one of you.

Second, this list contains some more personal questions. I usually alternate them with the style questions, but this time, I’m going to answer all of the fluffy ones at the top so they don’t feel so jarring sprinkled in with more serious topics.

I need lots of <$50 gifts for other women and housewarmings. What do you like best? #outofideas

Gift giving is my passion project, so I love this question.  Here are some of my favorites:

For a Housewarming:

• Expensive soap and a Turkish hand towel.
• Creative Co-Op has great bowls and trays. This speckled one is a favorite.
• These incredible cord management clips for smart devices.
• For a house with kids, glitter maple syrup.  Just trust me.

For the Ladies:

• The good hand lotion or the GOOD cuticle cream.
• Travel jewelry case or leather card case.
• A great, casual scarf in a neutral color.

What is the one thing you need right now?

For Avery to sleep through the night without needing three trips outside?  *sips Venti-size coffee* Yes, that’s it.

On the topic of shopping, I need either a new pair of sneakers to walk in (very open to suggestions for a supportive, lightweight sneaker) or a new wallet.  This Maison de Sabre wallet to be specific, and I need to buy it before the sale ends.  

Also, the whole brand is absolutely stunning.  Such good quality and every.single.useful.piece a working woman needs.  I mean, look at this leather laptop bag!

Can you help me find a minimalistic 8×10 rug for my apartment for under $250?

For something really neutral, this NuLoom rug is nice.  All the rugs in my house are Loloi.  They’re printed on, not woven, which I know some people don’t like, but they’re a snap to clean, which is important with a toddler and two dogs.  

But my best tip is to go to Home Depot or a carpet store and see what remnants they’ve bound into rugs.  For my first apartment, I snagged a 11 x 10 ivory carpet remnant.  It still lives at my friend Sarah’s house 14 years later.

What is the best thing you bought last week?

I didn’t buy anything but groceries last week.  (Yay, me!)  But the week before that, I bought this La Ligne t-shirt about voting.  I haven’t decided if I will frame it or wear it.

Have you done Botox yet or any other plastic surgery?  Will you?

Not yet. I am currently trying Frownies, because I only have lines on my forehead and I want to see if they reduce them.  Will report back.

Other than that, all I’ve done is microdermabrasion.  Would I do more?  Yes.  I fully expect I’ll be in line for a face lift in my 50s, but the best surgeon I’ve come across is $35,000, so I need to start saving now.  

I’m a person who never says never when it comes to plastic surgery or other appearance enhancement stuff.  You don’t know what you’ll do until you’re in that position.  Everyone is perfectly empowered to do what they want, including doing nothing.  I just doubt, given how vain I am, nothing will be on the menu for me.  But maybe I’ll suddenly stop giving a f**k, stranger things have happened.

Are you and Kyle okay?  I notice you don’t wear your ring anymore.

I never wear my wedding rings (too afraid I will lose them) and rarely wear the gorgeous replacement rings I bought from Mejuri.  I just hate having stuff on my hands and wrists.  I never noticed it when I was younger, but now it irks me as the day wears on so I only wear them when we go out.

Marriage isn’t an endless Instagram carousel of joy.  Especially heterosexual marriage in America.  Some weeks are great.  Some weeks, I wonder if we make it to Sunday.  You just hope you stack up the first kind and not the second.  This exchange in the comments from 2019 has always stayed with me:

“You can be coupled and still Not In A Good Place for Valentine’s Day. There’s been years when I’ve looked for a card that says, “You are my husband. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

To which another responded:

This is great in its truthfulness. And I am so thankful that my husband and I have both not, not been in love with each other at the same time. Because there are days and holidays and sometimes extended stretches of time where the sum of our relationship is “you are my husband, happy valentines day”.

Do you ever think about closing the blog?  I hope not, but I’m sure you do.

I do.  Not because I don’t love it, but because I often don’t feel like I have the time I need to make it as great as I want it to be.  Sometimes it feels easier just to quit than to keep turning in B- work.  

What’s the one thing you wish someone could take off your plate?

Social media.  See above.

If you could make just one decision differently what would it be and why?

I would have stayed in Montana in 2019 at the end of the session.  Sometimes a door opens and if you don’t walk through it, it shuts.  

COVID relocations and that TV Show That Shall Not Be Named have made moving back to Montana a pipe dream.  Kyle’s job would need to change so we could move, and even if we did, the expense would be tremendous, as it is now the least affordable housing market in America.  Take that San Francisco, we have increasing income inequality and scenery!

What keeps you up at night?

These days it would be easier to ask what doesn’t.  But this was my 5:27 AM doomscroll.

My dog is dying.  

My parents are aging.  

I never see them.

My finances.  

My daughter, just generally, and specifically, how the f**k do you teach a toddler coping skills (especially when both you and your partner have questionable coping skills).

What can I do to be a better mother? 

My health feels like it’s slipping away from me, but maybe that’s just my youth.

Order essentials from Target.

Reschedule nail appointment since we’re fully awake now.

How can I be a better lawyer?  

Who do I want to be when I grow up?

Oh s**t, I am grown up.  

Look, there’s the alarm. *reads NYT Morning Newsletter*

Oh good, none of its going to matter anyway because there’s probably going to be war in the Middle East and if Trump gets elected he’s going to turn on “a very large faucet” in the Northwest to send all of Washington and Oregon’s water to California, because we definitely don’t need it…that’s enough screen time.  

Cuddle your dying dog for a minute.  Then, get out of bed.

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