The Edition: No. 330
Jun 21, 2022
Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. — Nelson Mandela
+ Confessions of a Perpetually Single Woman.
*Editor’s Note* Being single is not a curse. It does not mean someone is unlovable or broken. Not every woman desires to be coupled. We shouldn’t think of being coupled as the key to becoming complete.
+ Comfortable commuting shoes are back (and available in wide).
+ Templates for post-interview ‘thank you’ notes.
+ Reapply sunscreen to your face/hair-part with this Supergoop! powder.
+ Gynecology has a pain problem; It’s time to solve it.
+ Dyson’s Airwrap is back in stock, and now in a version for long hair.
+ The paradox of jobs that advertise as being ‘remote’ but aren’t.
+ MM LaFleur’s new collection is fab. This relaxed dress is amazing, and this more professional one is fresh for summer.
+ This sandwich is a delicious, herby salad on bread. What could be better?
+ Work Outfit. Jewel-button cardigan + Tie-neck blouse + Pencil skirt
+ Six non-awkward ways to reconnect with an old friend.
+ Eloquii’s plus-size fashions are awash in color. I love this colorblock dress.
+ How to handle job offers and counteroffers without burning bridges.
+ Damsel in Dior’s Amazon collection has a great dress for summer weddings.
+ Gen Z is postponing motherhood due to the struggles of Millennial Moms.
+ These Monrow Pull-On Pants are like sweats for the office.
+ Why won’t Instagram stop trying to be TikTok?
+ For him or you, this hair trimmer is the best for swim-season grooming.
+ Tips for dealing with the National Tampon Shortage. The all-cotton Cora tampons I use are still available without delay.
+ Express has maternity attire. These jeans are great for summer.
One Valuable Thing. Do you know how to respond in an emergency? Take a Stop the Bleed course online.
From @corporatebish.
Take your PTO this summer. Even if you just staycation, these are your days, and you should use them. As my former boss recently told me, “You are replaceable at work, not at home.” I would amend that to include that you are not replaceable to yourself, your mental health, your sense of calm-stability matters.
Reach out to your supervisor. Plan your PTO. Do it for yourself. Don’t feel guilty for using your time, which is just another form of compensation.
{this post contains affiliate links that may generate commission for the author}
Really needed to hear the note on PTO! I’m facing huge pressure to miss multiple big family events because I’m “a crucial part of the team.” It’s a team, there are other people, we can adjust, I told you about this more than 6 months ago and you said it was fine. I’m going.
Gentle reminder about PTO: your company will lay you off (downsize, fire, whatever) from their team if it’s best for their bottom line. They may be sad about it, but they’ll do it. Take your PTO.
Re: gen z and motherhood. Maybe the problem is that our entire economy is dependent on this unpaid work performed almost exclusively by women. Yes workplace policies are a huge problem, lack of paid parental leave is egregious, but its even deeper than that – why is our economy dependent on constant population growth at the expense of women’s bodies and time? Instead of making policy changes to encourage women to have more kids at younger ages let’s build an economy that isn’t reliant on us in this way. Simply paying us for the unequal work we do is not enough.
This jobs that say they are remote but aren’t is a really interesting phenomenon. I interviewed for a position this spring that listed the job as remote. Then in the interview, it became apparent that it was remote, minus the one week a quarter in a different state, and the up to six months a year that required weekly travel between 4 different states. It’s 100% become a buzzword to attract employees, even if the jobs are hybrid at best.
My favorite is, “The job is remote, but you have to live within a 10-mile area of X city.” Um, that’s not remote. That’s work from home because you’re too cheap to pay for office space.
Yeah in the federal government there’s a pretty specific distinction between a telework eligible job (usually have to live near your duty station or at least be able to commute in if needed or if telework is revoked) and remote jobs (your pay is determined by where you live, not your duty station, you’re hired to be remote, so they have to actually change the job to take remote privileges away). There are still some bait and switch jobs that are advertised as telework eligible when they’re not, or they make employees jumó through hoops to telework.
It’s just frustrating that they check the remote box.
I’ve liked the Hawaiian Tropic powder sunscreen, which is not as expensive as the SuperGoop: https://www.target.com/p/hawaiian-tropic-mineral-skin-nourishing-sunscreen-powder-brush-spf-30-0-15oz/-/A-83952651?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&fndsrc=tmnv&DFA=71700000092103126&CPNG=PLA_DVM%2Ba064R0000136Jl4QAE-Edgewell_Suncare_Google+Search_March_2022-621721&adgroup=PLA_Edgewell_Suncare&LID=700000001393753pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9007526&gclid=CjwKCAjw-8qVBhANEiwAfjXLrmAt5Odi5HGdUf0lQ1uWX8TFSP0gM3Jb01X9A0xZZNBK9239K-7pIBoC1SUQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
I’ve also had good experiences with this Panasonic bikini line trimmer: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00005JS5C?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
Thanks for the editor’s note about how being single is not a curse.
I am currently single and I have been for about…six years now. I would like to meet someone, but it hasn’t happened for me yet.
I am also in my mid-thirties.
Lately, I am finding it challenging to continue to enjoy or take in my single-hood (hello solo travel) because I feel at every turn – being a couple is applauded.
People always ask, if I am in a relationship. For one, people who I just met – don’t shy away from asking me if I am relationship, married or with kids. It makes me feel bad about myself. I find myself asking – well, is something wrong with me that I am not claiming all those things now? These questions also come from family members too. Which makes me wonder if marriage and couple-hood is something I should have made my top priority over education, career and etc. As you might imagine a lot of friends are married or coupled or have started their families.
This is all to say that editor’s note made me feel like I am…not the odd ball…to be a thirty-something woman who is single and without kids, now.
Cheers, FN
There’s nothing wrong with you. Not everyone’s life moves at the same pace. A divorce attorney in DC once told me that she gets a lot of people in who settled for someone in their mid-30s because they thought they needed to be married, and then they wonder what they missed out on. That always stuck with me. What is meant for you will not pass you by.