The Edition: No. 311
Feb 8, 2022
+What if we just stopped being so available?
+ This simple $25 bathrobe is light, but cozy.
+ Things only 90s kids remember about the Internet.
+ This cap sleeve top and twist-front blouse are pretty (both <$30).
+ Why negotiating gives you anxiety — and why it shouldn’t.
+ Primer + brush + foundation = flawless skin.
+ It’s 2022; People are still confused the author’s kids have her last name.
+ Old Navy athleisure has great colors — boysenberry, tourmaline, and mocha.
+ You should be wearing house shoes. These are my favorite.
+ Soft, thick, supportive gym socks — $15 for six pair. (A steal.)
+ Triple Berry Cheesecake Muffins.
+ Try baking them in this mini-muffin tin for snack-size cakes.
+ How I bought a house with my best friend.
+ This tweed blazer and this printed blouse are great for work.
+ On how to find joy during difficult times.
+ Plus-size? This bright Vince Camuto dress is perfect for spring.
+ Why ending illegal pregnancy discrimination is so difficult.
+ Need a housewarming gift? Try this chic vase or this oblong wood platter.
Long Read. Meet the influencers who are quitting Instagram.
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Great read from the Atlantic! Lately, my workload has been particularly heavy, and I am working a lot at night or on weekends. I have been drafting my emails and saving them in “draft” in Outlook. Then on Monday morning (or the next day), I give them a quick skim and hit send. I hope this saves my recipients from hearing the dreaded “ding!” at 9:00 at night and thinking they have to promptly respond.
I do this but take it one step further and use the “schedule send” function in outlook! Before I leave for the day, I’ll schedule emails for the next morning. It allows me to have a more peaceful morning since I’m not worried about “gotta send x by 9am!”
As for why I don’t just send them the day before, it’s similar to what you said- I hate getting an end of day (or outside normal work hours) email with action items that I can do nothing about until the next day, so I don’t want to be the person who sends that kind of email. Even “please ignore until tomorrow” doesn’t help since you still saw it and you’re still going to be thinking about it.
I stopped being available after 5:00 p.m. and on weekends for work years ago and it has absolutely not affected my career one bit. I am a lawyer FWIW (in-house currently). I keep getting promoted, my bosses and business clients have never once mentioned it or, to the best of my knowledge, complained about it to others and I get my work done when it needs to be done. I set and manage expectations accordingly. I never over promise and, in fact, usually under promise and over deliver on purpose. I refuse to be a slave to my job. 10/10 would recommend.
This is lovely. I hear so many women complain (understandably) about the pushback they get from trying to scale back or set boundaries – it’s just as important to hear from some who have been able to do this effectively. Thanks for sharing!
One of my important observations in this area is that sometimes women ask permission to set these boundaries and yea, that will sometimes get you pushback. I never ask. I set them for myself and adhere to them without ever saying anything about it. I block off evenings on my calendar (and lunch, among other things) and I insist on a business phone. I don’t touch that phone in the evenings or on weekends.
Ditto to this. I worked in firms before law school, and have learned the hard way- work will take whatever you will give it. It’s up to you to set boundaries. I don’t work on Saturday’s. Private practice unfortunately demands some weekend work, but so long as I can help it, I save it for Sunday after a refreshing full day off on Saturday.
Same and same. Preach it. There is another way to live.
Another +1 here to setting these boundaries without asking for permission. We don’t ask permission to breathe, we just do it. Reclaim your time. If they take issue, its time to have a frank conversation or move on. I ended up having to move on because I got lip service acceptance of my boundaries followed by continued pressing of them (among many other reasons why I moved on, lol).
My new job is a little odd in that I work with international teams – so sometimes that means I have a meeting at 7PM my time because its 8AM for other members of my team – but I knew and accepted that signing up, and we have a good culture around taking turns being the the ‘inconvenienced’ party. But I am not just endlessly available, and the peace is incredible!
Yes! I work with a global team too and if I take a late meeting (we also try to swap off and I am a morning person who will happily get on a 5:30 am my time call) I either stop working earlier that day or another day or somehow otherwise flex my schedule.
Same. I work in a highly competitive field with notoriously long hours (journalism), and I’ve protected my weekends and evenings pretty well, especially since having kids. I can’t draw quite as hard a boundary at 5 pm as you — I manage a team and sometimes have to weigh in on stuff in the evenings over email because I’m the final word on a lot of timely decisions — but pretty close. No one has ever given me a hard time about it. I send lots of “I will tackle this first thing monday am!” emails on Fridays too.
ok the tweet cracked me up
The article on responding to emails/texts was spot on! I took work outlook calender off personal phone for some peace.
Thank you for sharing the piece on joy! That was absolutely lovely.