The Edition: No. 289

Nov 9, 2021

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. // John C. Maxwell

+ Is giving children their father’s name patriarchal?

+ Best Sephora Sale Picks: Volume spray and acne-clearing masks.

+ Why the pay gap isn’t closing — what we can do about it.

+ These Kate Spade rainboots are very cute and <$80.

+ What is good taste anyway?

+ Dinner Outfit: Earrings + Sweater Dress + Boots

+ ‘I’m frustrated that my team doesn’t want to go back to the office.’

+ This emerald-green flared dress is perfect for the holidays.

+ Crispy Parmesan and Gruyere Potato Gratin

+ Mango has this fantastic cable sweater and this chic tweed jacket.

+ Why quitting is actually good.

+ I may have to buy myself a Lite Brite for Christmas.

+ Can the ‘rule of threes’ solve all my getting-dressed problems?

+ AQUA has great pieces. I love this blouse and this sequin dress.

+ Bumble BFF has an MLM problem.

+ These drop earrings from Verishop are perfect for holiday parties.

Long Read. Castro’s number one killer a drifter from Wisconsin.

This Chicken Noodle Soup from Alexa Weibel uses ground chicken and whatever small noodles you have around.  I love chicken noodle soup, but I never make it because it seems like a lot of work.  This one seems easy, and looks delicious.

{this post contains affiliate links that may generate commission for the author}

Workday Reading

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  1. e says:

    Really interesting article from The Atlantic. I like that it talks about the bureaucratic challenges in hyphenating a last name (either the woman / mom’s, and / or the child’s). That was a major factor in me and my husband’s decision to pass on his last name to our little one. It’s very literally patriarchal but the system in this country is so stacked against bucking the norm.

  2. Cait says:

    The article on Taste reminded me of a recent TikTok trend called “old money aesthetic.” It’s a lot of plaid, pearls, white, and generally outfits that Emily Gilmore would approve of. Based on the article, TikTok would be seen as the opposite of “taste” so it’s fun to see the subversion happening in new ways.

  3. Eden says:

    My husband and I gave our children my last name. To us, it was a “no big deal” decision. To so many others, the progressives and traditionalists alike, it was revolutionary. I was surprised how much others (non-family—colleagues, acquaintances) cared what we named our kids! Perhaps that does say something about patriarchy. Our children are now school-age, and it continues to be no big deal for any of us. We’re just Mommy, Daddy, Big Sis, Little Bro. Thanks for sharing The Atlantic article; I learned things!

    • Rachel says:

      I recently got married and chose to keep my name. The biggest concern my older relatives had was what would happen with our future children’s names which was bizarre to me. We’re likely going to give them my husband’s name, but I don’t feel good about it. I pushed for us to create a new last name, but my husband didn’t want to deal with the perceived social stigma of a straight, cisgender man changing his last name after marriage.

    • Christine says:

      I love this. My husband and I both kept our last names and are planning to hyphenate the last names of any future kids we have.

  4. March says:

    All my kids have their dad’s name. We definitely discussed it. I doubted for a long time, until I read that in my country, for kids born to married lesbians, the last name that goes to the kid by default is the name that belongs to the mother who did NOT carry the child. That felt fair.

    On the other hand, I was recently browsing to my archives and found a folder entitled [stillborn son’s name][my last name]; photos from his funeral. The agency used my last name for their adminstration because I was the client, and simply added his first name once we gave it to him. He’s registered with the government as [son][husband’s name], but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t do something for me to see my last name used like that.

  5. Denise says:

    I just read the article on returning to office and liked it enough to forward it to some fellow managers at my (swiss, very conservative, specialty chemical) company. People seem to be in very different camps on RTO and I sort of fall in the middle. I definitely do NOT want to return to 2 hours of commuting 5 days a week, but i’d be willing to do it once or twice a week so i can get some time with coworkers and feel less isolated. I”m so very, very over MS Teams meetings. I think the key really is empathy. Everyone’s lives have changed in the pandemic. I mediated my divorce ~6 weeks before the pandemic hit and will now be going ‘back to office’ as a single parent with a lot more responsibility. It is going to be a learning curve for us all.

    Also none of my pants fit. Sigh. Can lululemon be considered office wear in January?

    • Katel says:

      Empathy is really key – the person who wrote in couldn’t see other perspectives which the answer called out. Additionally I think team leaders and managers are trying to figure out how to lead a dispersed group of people. It used to be about being physically present with other people …

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