The Edition: No. 217

Mar 23, 2021

You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. // Mike Murdoch

+ The problem isn’t work-life balance.  The problem is work.

+ This BTFBM frock might be the most adorable spring dress that I have ever seen.

+ Bra sales increased during the pandemic; knock me over with a feather.

+ Looking for comfortable bras? I like this Lively No Wire and Wacoal Side Smoother bra.

+ Does your resume have a headline?

+ Feline Flick eye-liner is my favorite.  Sephora’s Hot-line liner is a good dupe.

+ YKK zippers are superior because of their “Cycle of Goodness.”

+ This Factory ruffle-sleeve shirt and Swiss-dot pullover are both perfect for spring.

+ 10 Ways to Let Go of Anger (Without Ignoring It). 

+ This plus-size Sharp Wrap Dress is deeply discounted and fabulous.

+ The case for going back to the office when WFH ends.

+ I snapped up these dainty Marc Fisher sandals for summer.  Can’t wait.

Relatable Read. “I want to look damn good when the world sees me again.”

In the 1960s, my grandparents adopted a young girl from South Korea. As an Asian American, my Aunt experiences both covert and overt racism.  As a military wife, her husband’s fellow service-members and their spouses would often ask where they met overseas or insinuate that she should be grateful her marriage made her a citizen.

Over the years, many people have forced her into discussions about “what” she is or where she’s from, which always made her feel like she didn’t belong even though America is the only home she’s ever known.  And I’m sorry to say that I never gave serious thought to the racism my Aunt and her kids encounter as they move through the world until recently.

Racism towards and acts of violence against the Asian community are not reported widely, but hate crimes against Asians are shockingly common.  So what can those of us who want to help do to start correcting this issue (especially those of us who are white)?

We can learn more about the history of racism against Asian communities in America.  We can make an effort to pronounce Asian names correctly.  We can insist that our schools teach the history of Asian Americans (and Americans of all races and ethnicities) as important parts of our nation’s collective story.  We can also speak out if we see acts of hate.  And we can start simply by checking in with friends, colleagues, and relatives who are members of the AAPI community in a supportive way.

I know there are many in this group who are already doing these things and more, so please contribute your suggestions for how to help our AAPI communities, and all America’s communities of color, in the comments.  For those of us who are newer to the cause of social justice and full equality, imperfect efforts are better than no effort, but we have to stay committed to doing better.

{this post contains affiliate links that may generate commission for the author}

Workday Reading

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  1. E says:

    Great coverage on AAPI discrimination and how to be a better ally.

    Regarding the article on looking good for our “re-entrance to the world,” I wish the media wouldn’t go there. Living through this pandemic is difficult enough, especially for those of us waiting, waiting, waiting for a vaccine. The pressure to look hot at the end of this when I am just trying to undo the COVID-20 is pressure I just don’t need right now.

    • Belle says:

      There was a study that found most Americans have gained an average of 2lbs a month during the pandemic. Which tracks based on my own personal scale.

      But whether you want to lose that weight is up to the person. I definitely want to lose it because I know it will get harder the older I get to maintain a healthy weight and be in shape. But I’m trying not to put pressure on myself or fall into self-destructive thoughts.

  2. JJJH says:

    10 Ways to Let Go of Anger is a very timely piece for me Thank you.

    I gaineds some lbs during lock down and am working to get back to my target weight.
    It is amazing to me as I get older how the lbs can creep. And we learned in the pandemic that unhealthy weight can make COVID more severe.

  3. s says:

    Snapped up that Amazon dress!

    Great articles on the state of working through a pandemic. It’s been a really hard year, and everyone I know is suffering – with or without kids.

  4. SL says:

    Thank you, Abra, for your statement of support for the AAPI community. I am so sorry to hear about your aunt’s experiences — experiences with which I am all too familiar. I am reminded of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s quote: “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Words matter. Imperfect efforts matter. Justice matters.

  5. Janine says:

    Thank you for all of these resources, but particularly for the Vox article on changing work culture. Even in government, I’m seeing the negative effects of productivity culture on mental health during the pandemic. Despite all of the related articles and outcry among working folks in the past year, I see very little movement from our elected representatives, with the exception of a few very vocal ladies, and I find this incredibly frustrating. I’m wondering what we can do to get traction on this issue.

  6. Monica T says:

    For a lot of us getting back in whatever shape we were before the pandemic is more practical than just wanting to ‘look hot’ since honestly I don’t know how many people can just go out and buy a whole new work wardrobe. And I don’t mind a lovehandle or two as much as I don’t want my back to be hurting ALL.THE.TIME.

    But it is a testament to our human desire to leave the bad behind that we all want to be pre-pandemic status quo on Day 1 of our return to normalcy. The social awkwardness, the not knowing when it’s safe to shake hands or hug again, the not knowing who lost loved ones and who didn’t, who was vaccinated and who wasn’t, so much uncertainty still. Maybe people are just feeling like the one thing they can control in all of this is their own body and how they feel in it.

    Deep down none of us will be the same as we were last March and it will take real time to grieve for our losses and heal. But wanting to feel comfortable in my own skin is an every day thing for me, not just an end-of-pandemic thing.

  7. Kim says:

    Thank you for sharing about your growing awareness around racism against Asian communities, and the resources you’ve found.

  8. Laura says:

    Thank you for speaking out about Asian racism. My ex-husband is Asian (born in the U.S.) and has experienced subtle and overt racism his entire life. Because the culture doesn’t encourage speaking out or complaining, people are emboldened to say whatever they think, and the political changes in the past four years have only made it worse. Our daughter is frequently asked where she comes from–including by school teachers. It’s appalling even when people don’t have bad intentions.

  9. Ral says:

    Thanks so much for speaking out about racism and hate crimes against Asian. In all my years of social and mental health work in the community, it was easy to see that very little to practically none are reported either due to culture or language barriers. Sadly, when it is reported few cases are

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