Discuss: Lingerie for Valentine’s Day

Jan 25, 2021

Longtime readers of the blog know that every year, I write a lingerie post for Valentine’s Day.  I try to feature a wide selection of pretty pieces, but this year is not like every other year.  So I wanted some input on what you are looking for and what you might like to see.

What I’m considering is writing two posts: 1) for your basic intimates (flesh-tone bras, underwear, shapers, etc.) and 2) a post about pretty, lacy things of various types.

I’ve tried to keep my lingerie game fresh this year, but the pandemic malaise is real.  The best I can manage most of the time is a lacy racerback bralette under a tank.  And since I mostly wear lingerie for me (I find it empowering), and I haven’t been feeling my best, not a lot of new stuff has flowed into my house this year.

So if you have some specific lingerie wants or needs, or you have basics you need to restock, please leave your thoughts in the comments.

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  1. tina says:

    God, I would love the distraction and excitement of some fun lingerie that is a change from all the bralettes I wear these days.

    • Elby says:

      Ditto to this! I love your annual Valentine’s Day lingerie post and would welcome some fun and spicy lingerie to boost my mood and make for a fun distraction.

  2. E says:

    Well, I’ve gained weight and lost tone due to the pandemic and the thought of lingerie shopping pretty much puts me in a tailspin at present (although my supportive husband would be thrilled). I think I am on the fence. It would be nice to look at, but I for one, wouldn’t be contributing to any affiliate link income in this particular category…

  3. D says:

    I’m intrigued by how many brands claim to have ‘every shade’ of undergarment. It would be fun to hear from a variety of voices on whether that has actually borne out for the consumer, and which brands have delivered on both shade-matching and quality of garment.

  4. Cait says:

    After spending the majority of 2020 braless, I’ve made a point to wear a bra of some kind every day this year because it helps me feel more put together, even if it’s just a sleep bra or low-impact sports bra.
    I have a few lace bralettes but I don’t wear them often because they’re tight or scratchy or the straps fall off or they somehow make my chest look worse than no bra at all. I’d love some truly comfortable pretty bralettes and tips on buying the correct size online!
    I’d also love recommendations for pajama/lingerie hybrid garments. I’m trying to make more of a distinction between “day pajamas” and “night pajamas” and having some cute things I’m excited to wear for night time would be nice!

    • Kris says:

      I would love some recommendations on purchasing bralettes. I have a couple (Lively, Aerie) and they’re not the best but I’m on a budget and looking for comfort but not too expensive.

    • Meg says:

      I second this. it’s hard to find bralettes when they are size S, M, L to fit good (tight enough on the band, not too tight in the cup, straps stay up) and that is not itchy and doesn’t flatten the girls. Knowing where to find good ones and how to size right would help me join the bralette pandemic group that has thus far passed by me ; )

    • Kate says:

      I third this! Would love some comfortable and ok-supportive but pretty options in larger cup sizes if such a thing exists, and I’d also value your opinions on letting your bralette peek out (and how to do that stylishly in your 30s if it’s not a terrible idea)

      • E says:

        I just bought some cosabella bras in their curvy line in an XL and they are surprisingly comfortable for a 38I. I mean, not supportive enough for anything serious, but perfect for my sedentary WFH lifestyle these days and a good solution.

        • sbe says:

          E, do you mind sharing which ones you purchased that you like? I am the same cup size, and (as you well know) finding wireless options in our cup size is so difficult! Thank you

          • E says:

            I really liked the Curvy Ballet in XL. It has a hook and eye, cut low enough to not peek out. I also got the Curvy Sweetie Never Say Never Hook and Eye in the XL (and the non hook version because it was a gorgeous hot pink), which is a bit more coverage (I think it’s something like a 5 hook band too which felt like a little overkill). In the Ballet, it fit really well. In the Never Say Never the band is still a little loose and the cups are generous – I might have been able to make do with a L but I am so over too tight bras. I think you can filter for just the curvy line when searching – designed for “small” band (I do not consider a 38 a small band, but maybe they mean relative to cup size) and large bust.

    • Laura says:

      Would also love pretty bralette recs! I’m in a bralette almost every day, but they’re not attractive. I’d love to feel like I had something functional that also looked better than a sports bra.

      • Ash says:

        YES to all of this! The thought of actually wearing (or spending money on) fancy lingerie seems too foreign. But I hate all of the bralettes I’ve tried and would LOVE recommendations for how to feel comfy, sexy, and put together – with COVID weight, baby weight, an apparent in-home daycare/homeschool, and too many Zoom meetings that should have been emails.

        • Colleen says:

          I have a couple of the lace plunge bralettes from Gap. They’re not true bralettes because they have a clasp in the back. The back is also styled like a traditional bra, so not something I’d wear to show off in a cool top but I like them under v-neck tees. They’re comfortable, cute, and provide enough support and coverage. SML sizing, but I’m a 36B and the Medium fits well. Comfortable enough to sleep in (did that accidentally last weekend) and for sore PMS days.

          Does anyone have any recs for cute racer-back, front-clasp bras?

  5. Lily says:

    Lounge bras that are also pretty, please! Like, enough support if I want to do a quick yoga video on my lunch break and not have nips out on Zoom, but super also super comfy.

  6. Allison says:

    Would love to see options that are responsibly made, and pay their employees a fair wage. Lean to feminine and sexy, but comfortable too. We are spending so much time lounging these days.

  7. Trace says:

    This is kind of a Saw It On Social crossover, but can you review Lively or True and Co?

    • Cat says:

      True & Co mini review — I have this one https://www.nordstrom.com/s/true-co-true-body-triangle-convertible-strap-bralette/5142221

      It has been a quarantine MVP. Purchased in March along with a few other bralette options, and it’s always the one I choose first. It’s soft enough to be comfortable, but the lightly padded inserts mean it feels like a “real” bra and has pretty good support. Other bralettes sometimes cause the ‘girls’ to squish towards the sides, rather than towards the middle, but this one actually generates lovely cleavage rather than boobs akimbo. I’m a 34C and the S fits well.

      The Target version does not feel as good.

  8. Erica says:

    Any ideas on reliable daily underwear? Have worn hanky panky’s for years, but with a little weight gain, would love to know another option for more control at top. Thanks!

  9. Pam says:

    I have become a huge fan of Thistle & Spire – they have wonderful designs, that i find fit much better and are more inclusive than V’s Secret for example. I have purchased several sets from them and am very happy (as is my husband).
    P

  10. SEra says:

    Cute but comfortable pajama sets (specifically ones with shorts). Something that isn’t too strap-y to get tangled in while sleeping but also still cute, not too frumpy when getting into bed with someone else. I used to love the woven shorts set from Victoria’s Secret, but the quality has gone down hill.

    • Cat says:

      I would also love shorts sets — my favorite is soft shorts and a tank top, but it’s hard to find a cute, simple version of that. Everything is either cartoonish or flimsy-silky.

  11. Elyse says:

    Would love some suggested sexy, but flattering, lingerie to make part of my boyfriend’s V day gift! I’m a 36A so not a lot to work with…

  12. E says:

    What about some nice sexy robes or lounge-esque options?

  13. Cathy says:

    Would love to see a post on basic intimates (flesh-tone bras, underwear, shapers) which is what I wear 90% of the time.

    Also wanted to mention that I love the post on the ‘Crisp White for Winter’ outfit!

  14. Becky says:

    “not a lot of new stuff has flowed into my house this year”

    See this as a blessing. Easier on the planet. Less clutter. Less stuff. Less to think about. Easier on the mind.

    Maybe tell us about something you already own that you have not worn in a while and reminds you of a special time, or makes you feel especially empowered.

  15. Cheryl says:

    Pretty cotton bras!!! After years and years of wearing nylon/spandex/T-shirt foam/polyester bras, my ‘bra-band’ back area gets very very itchy/sensitive. To make the hunt harder, cotton bras with support for slimmer women with larger busts. Cosabella has it somewhat covered (pardon the bad pun) with their ‘Curvy’ styles. They even have a cotton Curvy style bra, but it doesn’t have much support. Is there anything else out there other than the Playtex cotton ice cream cone 1950’s style?? Anything pretty?
    Pretty is not a luxury anymore, it becomes essential.
    And it really is true–European women really do have prettier underwear than Americans.

  16. ling says:

    This may not be sexy lingerie related, I would love if you could do a post on thermal wear, and if there is somewhat nicer options than what I can find on the BIG 5?

  17. Anna says:

    More plus size lingerie please! As far as specific pieces go, I’ve actually been looking for a lot of pieces lately: sexy slips and nightgowns, corsets, underwear that is high waisted but not full coverage bottoms. I also want a silky robe without kimono sleeves, I find them annoying.

  18. Amy Paulsen-Reed says:

    I’m looking for recommendations for classy, minimalist, sophisticated lingerie. Nothing too fussy or tawdry. Thanks!

  19. E says:

    I feel I have so many bra needs! I have really struggled with what I would consider everyday, basic bras. I used to be a frequent Victoria’s Secret shopper but I think the quality has shifted some? I have tried some of the “internet brands” but still struggling to find something that works for every day, is comfortable and is flattering!

  20. Maria Blanco PATE says:

    Plus size pretty and supportive bralettes would be very appreciated.

  21. M says:

    I would love a post. I’d like to hear about fun bras and cute non-itchy bralettes and any cute/lacy grown-woman but still cute underwear finds. Also how to measure for a new bra from home when all we’re doing is online shopping? I definitely will not be going into a store this winter.

  22. Margaret says:

    I look forward to this post every year! And, I’m here for lacy, racy, fancy and impractical ideas. I don’t care if I’m from home, I need some glamour in my life!!

  23. Elizabeth Compton says:

    I have sensory issues and bra straps are murder; I’ve only been wearing strapless bras from Victoria’s secret for a long time. I also avoid any lace textures because they chafe. At a 32F or 34DD there’s not much out there in my price range! Wondering if other readers are getting similar experiences thanks to pandemic stress. I also stick to jockey’s Elance cotton briefs.

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