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The Edition: No. 174

Jun 3, 2020

To refuse to listen to someone’s cries for justice and equality until the request comes in a language you feel comfortable with is a way of asserting your dominance over them in the situation. // Ijeoma Oluo, So You Want to Talk About Race

+ Your self-worth is not your net worth.

+ If you’re not sleeping, if you’ve been crying, if you need a rest, I recommend these eye gels. And good sunglasses, I wore mine inside today like a drummer in a rock band.

+ White women need to do more to confront racism and be anti-racist.

+ Loving the sage color and fun print of these Saltwater pajamas.

+ The future of the bra is up for debate in the pandemic.

+ This one from Wander the best new mascara on the market.

+ Should I wear a mask during a job interview?

+ This pineapple-print tunic dress and Emerson Fry caftan are perfect for summer.

+ The books black booksellers recommend you read.

+ Sale on sale at Shopbop.  Don’t miss the shoe section (code June25).

+ Tips for post-Covid career success as we emerge from lockdown.

+ Love this Terranea beach hat and this affordable alternative.

+ How to make anything taste gourmet, and being a ‘hapless home cook’ in quarantine.

+ I don’t know how I lived without this fish spatula. Yes, a spatula.

+ “There is no simple story about looting.”

2020 is a particularly stressful time.  Every week seems to present a new set of challenges.  I’m struggling, and if you’re struggling too, consider BetterHelp online talk therapy.

I was intending to write a Saw It On Social about BetterHelp, but this feels like a good place to share my experience with BetterHelp.  My counselor retired a year ago, and I’ve been without a professional to talk to since.  And this is not the time to be without your mental health lifeline.  So I decided to give BetterHelp a try because I think they’re advertising on most of the podcasts that I listen to.

The first counselor I worked with wasn’t a good fit, and I was grateful for a quick shift to one who was a better fit.  Being able to send messages when I need to is nice.  Turnaround time isn’t immediate, but it’s reasonably quick.  And the cost is cheaper than my previous therapist at under $70 per week.

BetterHelp may not be a longterm solution, but it works in a pinch.  Having someone to talk to keeps the daily stresses from becoming overwhelming.  And couldn’t we all use a little of that right now?

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  1. Monica T says:

    I remember the first time I heard the phrase white women benefit from the white supremacy and it sent a tremor through my body and my skin prickled with it’s absolute TRUENESS. I’ve spent the last few days reading and reading and reading, trying to figure out what I can do right now to be more anti-racist, all the resources and perspectives being offered are amazing and so helpful. I can see behind me all the times I got the benefit of the doubt, how easy it was for me to camouflage my past in a way that allowed me to succeed, like changing my clothes, I went from undesirable citizen to successful citizen. Did I have to work to get there, yes. But work wouldn’t have been enough for a person of color – did you know that the job interview callback rate for black applicants WITH NO criminal record is LESS THAN the callback rate of a white applicants WITH a criminal record. (14% vs 17%). We have to educate ourselves so that we can use our privilege to change the system. Thanks for sharing some great resources.

  2. Aar1 says:

    Hey Belle, how was your election? Thanks for your presence during all this.

    • Belle says:

      Lost em both. One was a large candidate field in an open primary, so it was somewhat expected. The other was a total stunner and the whole state is talking about it. But I’m still proud of the races they ran and the work they did. Not sure I will work for anyone else this cycle though, I’m not as excited about the other choices.

  3. Marie says:

    Thank you for the way you’re using your voice and your perspective. It’s deeply appreciated, at least by me.

    Also, while it seems like such a silly thing to focus on right now….I have been looking for good long-sleeve pajamas with shorts for SO. LONG. Incredibly happy to see this Saltwater pair.

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