The Edition: No. 43

Jun 15, 2018

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.” — Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Score. How to set personal goals and measure your progress.

Lifted. My favorite bra company, ThirdLove, now offers 70 sizes AA-H, up to 48 band size.  I love the classic 24/7 bra (so comfy) and their pretty lace racerback.

Level Playing Field. Women won’t achieve equality in the workplace, until men achieve equality as parents.

Cutting Back. I gave up my wallet for a card holder last year, and it’s so easy.  I’m so tempted to buy this discounted Alexander McQueen one.  There’s also a matching business card holder.

Say, What? I’m 34, and my parents give me a $20,000 clothing allowance.

Fight It. Do you have frizz?  Then, you need this Fantasia Frizz Buster.  So good.

From the Front. How to lead when you’re afraid.

Outfitted. These Sam Edelman sandals are my new favorite for summer.  But if you need comfort, real comfort, buy these Gentle Souls.

Scrubbed. Do you know how to clean a shower curtain? Tips from a professional cleaner.

In the Bag. Want an easy, unique summer bag?  This $59 Urban Outfitters circle bag is it.

I love a good summer cocktail, so this plum margarita from Martha Stewart caught my eye.  Need serving glasses?  How about some shatterproof ones you can use outside, while tipsy, without worry?  Try these rocks glasses from Cruvina.  Prefer wine?  These Urbanite glasses are it.

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  1. mallory says:

    Agree 100% about men being equal partners. I am a mom of teens in suburbia and I have never seen any woman I know, at every level of success, not do most of the work at home. Women are in charge of organizing the entire family life as well as doing most of what needs to be done. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, homework help, carpooling are almost exclusively done by the moms. Dads chip in to maybe coach whatever team the kids are on and to cut grass. This is a big part of why I remain a SAHM even though my kids are older-I am not going to work all day only to come home to work all night.

  2. Crystal says:

    @Mallory (the Reply feature doesn’t seem to be working) —
    I concur. My intelligent, well-educated, feminist, highly motivated straight female friends still do the bulk of the work at home even before children, and then even more so once children are added to the mix — their husbands are clearly not doing half of the household and parenting/childcare work. It’s disheartening to see.

    I firmly believe that if a potential life/parenting partner is only going to do 20% of the housework or parenting, quite frankly, I can pay someone to do that — a nanny, a housekeeper, etc.. I would want a partner. That doesn’t necessarily mean 50%/50% on every single thing in our lives, but it should be 50%/50% overall.

  3. Jules says:

    Sometimes…. I read about families like the $20K clothes parents and wonder…. do they want to adopt another fully grown adult?
    I’m only slightly kidding……

    I accept my parents, but man…. I think I might feel differently about them if they were like, “here, take $20K every year!”
    Am I just shallow?

  4. Monica T says:

    I can only add to the division of child care that some of it is impossible to even dole out 50/50. When the child is little there are so many things that only the mother can provide, and whether it’s time spent pumping at work or breastfeeding it is not something your partner can just do. When they get older it is less obvious, like how he can take a nap at any given time and no one cares, but heaven forbid you try to use the restroom. You would think this would mean every non-child chore would be handled quietly and efficiently, and maybe sometimes when they’re feeling magnanimous it is, and your mother raves about them and praises them as if doing the dishes earns them a major award and what you do every.damn.day is just life as a woman and mother. ffs. End rant.

    I don’t have parents that will give me a clothes allowance, because my Dad was wearing my middle school gym shorts to do yard work when I was in my 20s and he just doesn’t care about clothes. But he did gift us air conditioning for our home which we’d lived in for 6 years without in a hot SoCal city and I was grateful as heck. Then while talking about the replacement furnace and how I’d like to put it in the attic to some day reclaim the floor space for a bathroom remodel he was like, lets just do it all at once. So his already generous gift turned it to a home transformation. My husband felt uncomfortable about it at first, because it would be another 20 years before we could have afforded it. But I told him, and it was true, that my Dad would not offer if he didn’t really want to do this for us. He couldn’t be happier about doing it for us either.

  5. Lynn says:

    Love the card holder idea. I’ve been wanting to do this for a few months. This may sound crazy, but where you do you keep cash? receipts? rewards cards (e.g. coffee) and other miscellaneous items without a wallet????????

    • Belle says:

      I don’t carry any rewards cards, except Costco, plenty of apps let you upload them. I keep my cash in the inside pocket of my purse.

  6. Sally says:

    Today several blogs that I follow mentioned Third Love. This has happened several times with either a brand or an item of clothing. I know you feel strongly about being transparent with advertising and endorsements. How do these product placements work?

    • Belle says:

      Well, mine’s not a product placement. I’ve loved ThirdLove for years, and wasn’t paid or gifted, etc. I just saw an article in Vogue that they had added more sizes and decided to share that.

      I saw TL on a lot of blogs/sites too. I don’t know, they may have done a sponsorship run in accordance with their new launch.

  7. Denise says:

    With respect to the ‘equality’ article, generally I find that if I ask my spouse to actually manage something related to the kids (e.g., take one of them to the doctor) or the home (e.g., pick up a birthday cake over lunch), it comes with so much bitching and whining and insisting that he is OMG SO BUSY that its not worth it. Some of my other girlfriends have found the same thing. So I take care of just about everything and what I don’t do, my nanny does. Honestly, I have proposed to several friends that we give up the whole husband thing and just move in together and share a nanny. We would be the happiest women we know!

    • Belle says:

      Girl, I get it. I get the same s**t from Kyle about the dogs sometimes. And you know what? I make him do that shit anyway. A woman I so respect who has been married for 55 years once told me that a wife must have two things to succeed: 1) the ability to ignore unimportant things, and 2) the backbone to make her husband be her partner. She explained that men have been taught their whole lives, that they are SO SO important, and their feelings and needs are SO SO important, and you have systematically break them down (like toddlers) to get through that bulls**t.

  8. Bethany says:

    I was so excited to see that third love improved their size range until I clicked through. It still only starts at a 32″ band?? They talk a lot about fit but still seem to be promoting the idea of adding 4″ to your band size. Sooooooo many women should be in 30″ bands or even 28″.

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